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LodeMike ,

738 forks

MapleEngineer ,
@MapleEngineer@lemmy.world avatar

I had a customer who wanted me to stay on as a consultant to keep their system running. He was a scumbag so I added a test to see if I had logged on in the last 60 days. If not it threw a random error code. It triggered three times before I told him that I wanted a lump sum payment and I would fix it for good and then we were done and I wanted the cheque drawn on his personal account. His controller was an even bigger scumbag than he was. He gave me the cheque and asked me what was wrong. I explained and he laughed because he was a multi-millionaire car dealer and I was a late teens computer kid and I got the better of him.

mrmule ,

How to deal with a social media client that has not paid?.. Suggestions please!

AdamEatsAss ,

Delete all work you did, commit, push, delete old commits from remote repo? File an IP lawsuit?

Adalast ,

Bury it six JavaScript and 2 php scripts deep so it is a pain in the ass to find.

Ascend910 ,

Nice idea, is there a way to make it invisible ?

Adalast ,

Not that I know of. In the end you are editing the browser rendering parameters. Anyone can inspect the page and see that the opacity on the page is being turned down. Finding where it is happening is the only thing you can really make hard. Have a couple of the pass through scripts be machine generated and you can have it use nonsensical variable names and a bunch of dummies that lead on wild goose chases. It could all be fixable, but you can make it a pain in the ass. Add a redundancy or two and it will make debugging a nightmare because even if one is fixed, the others will make it look as though it has not.

The real answer is to have NEVER do freelance web development inside the client’s firewall. Never. If they try to require it, walk away. If it is inside their firewall then they can just take the source code and stiff you. If they try to spout some BS about security, say that is precisely what you are concerned about and point blank ask them what safeguards they are willing to allow you to put in place for developing in their system. If the answer is none, walk. If they are willing to let you VPN in, run the code from a local copy over the VPN and node lock it so if someone attempts to serve it from another machine it fails.

Apologies. I’m tired and hate businesses taking advantage of “Independent Contractors”.

Tangent5280 ,

Far easier, Far better to just get payment up front.

Agent641 ,

You obfuscate your code with random dead ends and weird variable names.

I obfuscate my code just by writing normally because I haven’t learned how to write properly.

straightens tie

We are not the same

Agent641 ,

Set opacity to 100%

nexussapphire ,

You delete each set of letter from least significant to most significant with $ replacing each letter and the title tag saying where’s my money. If all letters disappear swap the entire website with space jam website and this gif. https://lemm.ee/api/v3/image_proxy?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia1.tenor.com%2Fm%2FF4c6JDjOd3MAAAAd%2Ffat-tony-simpsons.gif

Zucca ,

Brilliant!

mo_lave ,

The elves did not pay their license to exist in Middle-Earth. And so their opacity decreased until their bodies completely fade away.

SpaceCowboy ,
@SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca avatar

For some reason I’m picturing the elves as white trash sovereign citizen types refusing to pay their taxes.

As they fade away… “The flag of Gondor doesn’t have a gold fringe on it and you didn’t write my name in all capitals at a 45 degree angle in red ink therefore this court doesn’t have the authority to…” poof!

mo_lave ,

Except that they’ll put it in more… eloquent language. 😅

SpaceCowboy ,
@SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca avatar

The world is changed: I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth, I smell it in the air… Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it. Thusly the government of Gondor shall not excise a tax upon my pouch of gold for their statutes shall not apply to my person henceforth.

mo_lave ,

Until we meet again, Ilmen-mariner

skullgiver ,
@skullgiver@popplesburger.hilciferous.nl avatar

Subtle, but perhaps too much so. Why not go for the more aggressive approach of slapping “TRIAL EXPIRED - GENERATED BY AN UNLICENSED COPY OF website.com” across all pages, images, invoices, and so on? A faded out website looks broken, a website indicating the owner’s questionable business reliability much less so. Especially when it comes up in documents hitting other people’s accountants!

ILikeBoobies ,

Why not just iframe meat spin like the good old days?

polle ,

Sadly i forgot, can you refresh my memory about that story?

Tilgare ,

Just Google meatspin - it’ll be easier that way than explaining it here I think. One of those things you just have to see to understand.

Zucca ,

Just Google meatspin

Dude… This is Rickrolling on the nightmare level.

Those who don’t remember: NSFW to google that.

CaptPretentious ,

If that’s nightmare, what’s lemon party rank?

pmk ,

Back in the day, lemon party was my girlfriends first encounter with online nudity.

Zucca ,

I guess ignorance is bliss now?

normalexit ,

It really is more of a visual medium. A picture is worth a thousand words after all!

ILikeBoobies ,

Gay porn

You would throw it on your mate’s computer if they left the room for a moment

skullgiver ,
@skullgiver@popplesburger.hilciferous.nl avatar

Modern security enhancements to browsers make iframeing random websites a lot more difficult than it used to be. You’d need to mirror the video, but that would take away some of the old internet magic.

TrickDacy ,

You automate that shit, you never give them direct access to the source code, and you obfuscate the code that changes the opacity so that it’s really hard to find even if they manage to wrest control away from you. I did this once after the client failed to pay as agreed. They narrowly escaped their site being replaced with a message saying they did not pay their bill, by paying eventually, but I couldn’t let them get away with that shit if they decided to change passwords and tried to screw me completely.

mosiacmango ,

33% of payment on project start, 66% of payment on demonstration of final product, 100% payment on hand over.

Worst case you get 66% of your payment. Make sure 66% is enough to make the project profitable.

Clear contracts are also important. Fuck you, pay me.

TrickDacy ,

Yes to all this. Mike Monteiro is a hero of mine

mesamunefire ,

Loved that video back when I was contracting. I paid a lawyer to draft up a standard contract and that was the best thing I ever did. Great value for the $$s. Saved my butt a couple of times.

tiramichu ,

The fade should be slow and subtle. At first the client thinks they are just imagining it, but then they start getting customer support calls about the site being faded, and their bosses are pointing it out too in meetings, and as it happens more and more the panic really begins to set in.

Finally they reach out to you in a desperation when there’s barely anything left of the site and ask you to urgently fix the problem, and you just shrug your shoulders sympathetically and explain it’s happening because they haven’t paid - but not like in a way that suggests you are doing it on purpose, but a way where it’s simply an unavoidable natural consequence, like if you didn’t pay your electricity bill your power would get cut and the site is slowly “dying” and fading away because of that.

They’d pay so fast.

Crackhappy ,
@Crackhappy@lemmy.world avatar

Especially if you randomize the fade within a given range over time.

tiramichu ,

For added theatrics, after they pay you can slowly fade the site back in over a few days too, as if websites need bill money the same way humans need food, and it is slowly getting better after “being starved”

Crackhappy ,
@Crackhappy@lemmy.world avatar

I like the way you think.

ipkpjersi ,

Make the fade only apply 25% (or maybe a percentage range) of the time, slowly increase how often and how intense the opacity is. lol

howrar ,

Or, make it fade more and more for each “unique” visitor. Make sure it hits after they start their marketing campaign.

Agent641 ,

Make it fade out after 5pm friday and fade back in on monday at 9am.

Charge them extra for working outside of business hours

Crackhappy ,
@Crackhappy@lemmy.world avatar

What the duck did I do.

yokonzo ,

I mean does it matter if you’re frank and say "its happening because you didn’t pay? Its not like they can go to the cops or something

PlexSheep ,

Depends on what you sold, it might be funny fraud

stephen01king ,

Can it be considered sold if it hasn’t been paid?

PlexSheep ,

This is only useful if it’s a kind of subscription model, right? Otherwise, you sell the thing and fuck off, never to be seen and maintain it.

blujan ,

You don’t say that, you say they are on credit hold and you won’t do any more work until your past work is paid for, after they pay you say credit has been rescinded and they have to prepay for any more work to be done.

Agent641 ,

Send them a bill for “website toner”

Num10ck ,

this is what Elon is doing to himself with X, by the signal to noise ratio.

BearOfaTime ,

Which he obliquely said he was going to do, before he bought it.

By slowly killing it, room is made for multiple other platforms to grow.

Boxscape ,
@Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

Like Marty McFly.

https://media1.tenor.com/m/IoGGDnocMx0AAAAC/bttf-marty-mcfly.gif

ininewcrow ,
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

https://media1.tenor.com/m/_2FDgHJzoQ0AAAAC/back-to-the-future-guitar.gif

bolexforsoup ,

Like the idea, but this isn’t remotely how this meme is used lol

Dirk ,
@Dirk@lemmy.ml avatar

Are we gate-keeping meme usage now?

PhobosAnomaly ,

https://feddit.uk/pictrs/image/4e651f35-c1d7-4b47-8b90-d3bd4636ce63.webp

Dirk ,
@Dirk@lemmy.ml avatar

Mom! Look! Moooom! Moooooom! Look, I am in this! Mooom! You’re not looking! Moooom! Look!

jimitsoni18 ,

What clieny is that

PhobosAnomaly ,

Summit (Play Store)

bolexforsoup ,

How is it gatekeeping to say “you used it wrong“? If you put your car in reverse when you want to drive forward and I correct you, am I gatekeeping driving?

Saying “this is incorrect” when there is a clear right/wrong usage is not gatekeeping

Album ,
@Album@lemmy.ca avatar

Are you gatekeeping gatekeeping now?

bolexforsoup ,

Damn I got got

Dirk ,
@Dirk@lemmy.ml avatar

Are you gatekeeping gatekeeping-gatekeeping now?

pennomi ,

Yo dawg I heard you liked gatekeeping so I got you a gate to keep your gatekeepers.

Boxscape ,
@Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

Get Rick Moranis on the horn!

https://y.yarn.co/974d791e-01a6-4511-a202-d6b731be30c9_text.gif

Kusimulkku ,

How dare you gaslight him

GissaMittJobb ,

Yes

TrickDacy ,

When haven’t we been? People will do any weird thing and call it a meme, least we can do it call them on it every now and then

entropicdrift ,
@entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

A meme is just any piece of cultural information. Some are gatekept and carefully guarded, others are just kinda around

ChillPenguin ,

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/6ef91469-7387-4c94-a14a-280151774816.jpeg

SLVRDRGN ,

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/1fe945d3-d2ee-4a75-b7bb-877533777062.jpeg

cypherpunks ,
@cypherpunks@lemmy.ml avatar

this isn’t remotely how this meme is used lol

“Robin Holding a Whiteboard” meme format with left column labeled “people who use this meme format correctly” and a tally of one, and the right column labeled “people who use this format like glasses dog” and a tally of 21

user224 ,

https://i.imgur.com/8whIAxh.jpeg

SLVRDRGN ,

Oh my word - its still alive?

mbfalzar ,

That which is dead can never die

gwen ,

NO NO N

anguo ,

N NO NO Nᴑ

tfw_no_toiletpaper ,

Yeah I will forward this to friends but only the textbox

Oha ,

how is it used?

Ghostalmedia ,
@Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world avatar

amp.knowyourmeme.com/…/robin-holding-a-whiteboard

Admetus ,

I just saw a variety of usages and nothing to indicate the standard use of this meme lol

kartonrealista ,
@kartonrealista@lemmy.world avatar

Github Link

Emotet ,
@Emotet@slrpnk.net avatar

Because this repo is going viral from time to time to developers, I’m open for discussion if you want to promote a product/service in this README file. Just mail me at XXXX

Ew.

RustyNova ,

Probably a joke

fdnomad ,

Looks like letsdeel took him up on the offer though, its even in the source code

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