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programmer_humor

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silas , in onlick
@silas@programming.dev avatar

Spatial computing has gone too far

bruhduh ,
@bruhduh@lemmy.world avatar

Apple vision pro 2 be like

xmunk , in onlick

My company doesn’t appreciate my taste in programming flavors. I hoped to whet their appetite with a lunch and learn but when I tried to demo the functionality on my bosses computer I ended up being escorted from the building.

PhlubbaDubba , in onlick

Button that works on lick, there’s a sex joke there but I’m too tired to think of it

Quetzalcutlass ,

You mean to say, you’re having trouble finding it?

PhlubbaDubba ,

I might but having had a go at it…yeah I’m starting to think that all that joking about how hard finding “the button” is some grand conspiracy of weaponized incompetence, I’ve had a couple partners now to confirm that finding “the button” is damn easy for someone who actually gives a shit about being a reciprocal partner.

You know you’re doing it right when her thighs are wrapped around your head like she’s trying to use your melon for a Gallagher bit. Hands clutched in your hair is even better, and if she’s giving you a tempo you’ve got her so deep in the mood that all that’s left is to follow the rhythm her body’s setting for you.

It’s so easy that her body will literally be telling you how to do it even better by the end if you put in the starting effort.

norbert ,
@norbert@kbin.social avatar

We get it, you have sex.

PhlubbaDubba ,

I think an explainer is important when some old misinformed boomer humor trope is being bandied about, just happened that this one was about sex schtuff

I’d have given a similar response to references to wife bad no fault divorce is satan jokes

JRaccoon , in onlick
@JRaccoon@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

I remember reading an article about how we’re already able to simulate basic tastes, like sweetness and sourness, digitally. So just you wait, we might have lickable HTML elements in the future

ryannathans ,

I can imagine the malware now

rikudou ,

If you want the taste of poop out of your mouth, send bitcoin to this address.

Cwilliams ,

Imagine a poop flavored button

sum_yung_gai ,

Link?

JRaccoon ,
@JRaccoon@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

I don’t remember the exact article I was reading but doing a quick google search yields this one for example. And here’s the actual research paper: www.miyashita.com/…/1hFnR7TlUO4OXNpQFeuN30

sum_yung_gai ,

Thank you! This is super interesting!

RGB3x3 ,

The Snozzberries taste like Snozzberries!

ChickenLadyLovesLife ,

Scratch-n-sniff CSS

CookieOfFortune , in onlick

Is this an event for the next version of the Apple Vision Pro?

jol ,

Apple Taste Pro is a white sausage-shaped devices that you shove down your throught and controls your taste buds, olfactory system and controls breathing.

rikudou ,

And it will have whopping 5 apps at launch and 5 more during its lifetime (maybe). You also most likely need a mortgage to buy one.

gaterush ,

I don’t want to think of what the FaceTime integration would be like…

jol ,

In 2010 we brought you FaceTime. Today, we are proud to announce FleshTime, the new best way to communicate with your loved ones.

ILikeBoobies ,

We already have synchronized sex toys

jol ,

Apple always announces products like they are the only ones, except maybe with the first iphone. “this is the best iPhone yet” not the “best smartphone in the market”.

Also they wouldn’t call it sex toys, they would call it a whole new revolutionary class of communication devices.

threelonmusketeers ,
Artyom ,

It will project a super low-rez image of your tongue for others to see

AtariDump ,
bruhduh ,
@bruhduh@lemmy.world avatar

Checkmate

Klear ,

Interesting…

jol ,

This would actually probably maybe work

Zagorath ,
@Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

Even better I reckon would be to use bone conduction technology like those sports headphones, but attach it up to your sternum.

Psythik ,

Personally I wish someone would make headphones that comes with a wireless “subwoofer” that attaches somewhere to your body and vibrates to the bass. The closest I found to this was the Skullcandy Crusher series. But the motors are in the headphones, which makes them bulky. Still, hardest hitting bass I’ve ever heard in a pair of headphones. It is unfortunate that a more prestigious brand won’t take the concept and evolve it.

quantenzitrone ,

hey, i have one of those skullcandy headphones

Psythik ,

Don’t get me wrong, they’re amazing for bass-heavy music; they’re just not so great if you care about things like imaging, sound staging, a neutral frequency response, and low latency Bluetooth, none of which the crushers are particularly good at. The Crusher Evo has such bad staging, for example, that they almost sound mono. Makes them completely worthless for movies and games (which is a shame, cause movies and games could always benefit from more bass).

quantenzitrone ,

yeah the sound quality is not so great

Brickhead92 ,

iBreath™ control now available for the low price of $19.99 a month!

doggle , in Tough break, kid...

It’s not engineering either. Or art. It’s only barely writing, in an overly literal sense.

WindowsEnjoyer , in FLOSS communities right now

Why is everyone hating Discord? It’s pretty neat platform when all the features used properly.

mint_tamas ,

It’s the worst way to document something (doesn’t even make sense to call it documentation). It’s closed source and the content is only accessible if you register with an email address.

onlinepersona OP ,

Maybe read a few of the responses?

CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

AMDIsOurLord ,

If you’re putting that creative Commons thing in your comment to prevent AI training, it’s as useful as those “sovereign citizen” dorks against paying taxes

AI companies really don’t give much of a flying fuck

onlinepersona OP ,

Thanks. I don’t care.

CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

Chadus_Maximus ,

Used to be fast. Isn’t anymore. Need new fast thing.

doggle , in What's stopping you from coding like this ?

Opaque thorax

sleepmode , in FLOSS communities right now

I bought a keyboard kit recently and to my horror discovered all the “documentation” to build it is on Discord. The creator’s last message was that he was working on other things after losing interest, and was not monitoring it anymore. So all the channels are full of messages asking where he is, what the status is, is he coming back, etc. I had to scroll back through dozens of pages just to find the docs.

Maybe put up a wiki on GitHub or something? Especially if you don’t want to run a forum or plan on dipping. It’s not that hard.

saltesc , in onlick

I tried to tell the computer to bugger a dataset the other day because apparently I can’t type Table.Buffer()

wieson ,

Table.Buffet

marcos ,

Environemnt is a very common word for me to type. Good thing everybody always shortens it to env.

Klear ,

I always iterate in paris.

SatyrSack ,

The amount of times I used to quickly type dnf udpate was ridiculous. Now, I know I can just dnf up.

StorageAware ,

Used to do the same thing, but I eventually learned to memorize it as “environ-ment”

Passerby6497 ,

Just because I can’t type it correctly doesn’t mean I don’t know how to spell it. My fingers just choose to spell it alternatively because its funny. Especially the 4th time I spell it wrong the same way in the row.

KeenFlame , in FLOSS communities right now

I feel like so many people talk about how it’s not searchable or other concerns but for me I don’t really care so much because there’s an even bigger deal breaker which is their license agreement, where you sign away the property rights of anything you post, giving away your entire open source project… This alone should disqualify it for any work of any creative sort. They own things you give them. I would never use it for development because of this.

Ultraviolet ,

Is this an actual thing or is it a misinterpretation of the standard boilerplate “you grant us a non-exclusive non-transferrable license to do the basic things that make a post visible to other people on the internet” message that every platform where you post stuff has?

KeenFlame ,

I’m not personally knowledgeable on it, just going off what the investigation told why we stopped using it in our project really

FIST_FILLET , in Tough break, kid...

“prompt engineering” in itself is such an embarrassing term for the act of saying “computer uhhh show me epic boobies!!”

like that joke about calling dishwashing “submerged porcelain technician” but unironically

grubders , in FLOSS communities right now

discord is the best villain but also the worst platform ever

Gullible , in FLOSS communities right now

Neither here nor there, but how typical is it to turn on notifications for a medium size discord server? Would you consider it?

onlinepersona OP ,

I refuse to use Discord for many of the reasons listed in the other comments.

CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

Kiloee ,

Define medium size.

All messages notifications? Hell no never, not even on my own less than 10 persons server.

Stuff like announcement role pings? In servers I care or the roles let me filter very finely yes, irrespective of size.

@everyone pings? Only on servers I care a lot about or that use them sparely.

Yearly1845 , in What's stopping you from coding like this ?

I don’t have legs

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