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Gingerlegs ,

We deserve to be wiped out by global warming

OhmsLawn ,

Imagine how mortifying it would be to have a legitimate ear injury this week.

vxx ,

As long as you don’t tell your doctor to make the patch as big as possible like trump did, you should be fine in most cases. This looks more like the size of bandage you would get after ripping your whole ear off.

archomrade ,

Lol I bet Trump absolutely hates this

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

No, I’m sure he sees it as a sign that they like him, which he ravenously craves.

Blackmist OP ,

I think the only thing Trump hates is not being the centre of attention.

That and being told “no” to anything.

Zipitydew ,

This might be the peak. I can’t imagine how we’ll ever have a more Not The Onion article.

Peak cult bullshit.

martinb ,

You are most likely invoking a “hold my beer” moment.

snooggums ,
@snooggums@midwest.social avatar

Nah, if he has a stroke and half his face doesn’t work I expect a non-zero number of his cultists to have half their face paralyzed in solidarity.

octopus_ink ,

https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/0bb4ea2f-50c1-4788-8abe-5c670948bccb.webp

snekerpimp ,

Of all the dick sucking moves you could do………… I am amazed at how eager they toss the salad.

solsangraal ,

LOL what the fuck. i’ve never seen a more subservient bitchass group of bootlicking sheep than republicans

blarth ,

They really are strange.

lobut ,

Apparently, the other people are sheep. These are the free-thinking freedom loving people! /s

Dear God man … this is crazy cringe.

rayyy ,

Projection is how Republicans roll. Remember when MAGA accused Joe Biden of wearing diapers and they found out their dear orange felon/rapist cult leader wore them instead, and started wearing them?

Leate_Wonceslace ,
@Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

It’s not as weird as the diapers.

RaoulDook ,

I think it’s pretty close. Both are super fucking weird and pathetic.

markon ,

Don’t knock diapers till you try em tho

gnutrino ,

Makes me think of the court at Versailles all pretending to have anal fistulas after Louis XIV had surgery for one.

TokenBoomer ,

I’m gonna take your word, I ain’t clicking on anal fistulas.

Myxomatosis ,

And yet they’re the ones screeching about “alpha males and the loss of masculinity in America.”

TokenBoomer ,

Hierarchies gonna hypocritize.

solsangraal ,

which is hilarious, because if you’re whining about someone “taking away your masculinity,” (OR if you’re having panic attacks about someone else’s masculinity) then you were never masculine in the first place.

Myxomatosis ,

Fragile masculinity.

Lost_My_Mind ,

But remember, they hate being called sheep.

Just a reminder, jd vance, trumps newest vp pick, has on many occasions been quoted in the past of saying “I didn’t vote for trump”, “I never liked trump”, and “I’m a never-trump guy”.

NOW he sings trumps praises, and kisses trumps ass.

solsangraal ,

vance is just another vapid muppet who’ll get thrown under the bus the instant shit goes sideways and trump needs someone to blame for…whatever. just like all the other used-to-be-never-trumpers who are now fighting over who gets to be first to be facialed by trump

negativenull ,
@negativenull@lemmy.world avatar

https://i.imgflip.com/2u0ptx.jpg

Speculater ,
@Speculater@lemmy.world avatar

“I’M NOT THE MESSIAH!”

thisbenzingring ,

He’s just a naughty boy!

Zahille7 ,

“HE IS THE MESSIAH!”

gnutrino ,

“I say you are Lord and I should know, I’ve followed a few”

Squorlple ,
@Squorlple@lemmy.world avatar

bcgm3 ,

So say we all.

Gnugit ,

This timeline is so broken. I can’t believe that the USA may well vote this idocracy into power.

zcd , (edited )

America:

https://lemmy.ca/pictrs/image/d20ac5ed-1937-4c55-8022-3dd2c585cbe3.jpeg

sunzu ,

Limp dick cucks copying a gereatric nepo baby for popularity points.

MudMan ,

I'll give it to you, this is the most a Not The Onion post has made me go "wait, is that The Onion"?

Good job. I think.

SlippiHUD ,
@SlippiHUD@lemmy.world avatar

Oh, did you not see the commemorative sneakers he’s selling?

MudMan ,

Nah, that I believed. Trump shilling useless crap is extremely plausible.

Blackmist OP ,

I genuinely don’t know how satirists are supposed to make a living any more.

WhereGrapesMayRule ,

Their heads are as soft as their little impotent penises.

kbal ,
@kbal@fedia.io avatar

Be extra careful not to hurt your ear this week, you won't be able to bandage it

QuentinCallaghan ,
@QuentinCallaghan@sopuli.xyz avatar

Imagine what it would look like if Trump was shot in the dick.

rebelsimile ,

it’s amazing how much the context on this sentence has shifted inside of a week.

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