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some_guy ,

Beating your partner. No, wait… Shooting up a bunch of strangers. No, that’s still not right.

Fuck, living in America has deprived me of the ability to answer this question correctly. (this is satire. see my other comment.)

small44 ,

Sport

Pepsi ,
@Pepsi@kbin.social avatar

I’m convinced that there is around 50% of the general adult population that has zero emotional intelligence and lives in a state of emotional ping pong. Just raw emotional energy that is entirely at the whim of whatever happens to be in their line of sight.

Dr_Satan OP ,

Agreed. Like a scrap of paper, slave to every breeze.

Anticorp ,

Are you saying that sometimes you feel like a plastic bag?

bruhbeans ,

Mutual aid. Helping people directly defuses a lot.

Weightlifting. Squatting is like screaming into a pillow but with gainz.

_haha_oh_wow_ , (edited )
@_haha_oh_wow_@sh.itjust.works avatar

“I feel angry because (X).”

Where X = the reason you are angry.

Edit: I should point out that if the reason you are angry is a racist, sexist, or otherwise unreasonable reason, that’s on you. If this offends you, maybe consider not being shitty?

snooggums ,
@snooggums@kbin.social avatar

Calm down.

_haha_oh_wow_ ,
@_haha_oh_wow_@sh.itjust.works avatar

[anger intensifies]

Okokimup ,

I’ve gotten some of my best house cleaning done while angry.

Archelon ,

Once a therapist told me that a lot of the time anger is a secondary emotion; that is, it’s an emotion that comes out of another emotion.

So you don’t necessarily get angry out of nothing, but you get angry because you’re scared, or disappointed, or you feel wronged, or something else.

So their recommendation was to identify the emotion that’s making you angry, and express/rationalize that instead.

snooggums ,
@snooggums@kbin.social avatar

I get angry because of frustration about things beyond my control that impact me negatively and can't simply be ignored. Knowing that extra step is great and all, but doesn't reduce the frustration or the anger. I'm sure that identifying the difference is helpful to some people who can ignore or address the actual cause of their anger.

Note: I don't get angry about frustrating things that I can do something about, or can be ignored.

some_guy ,

As a teen, I would consciously turn hurt into hate to avoid it. I was emotionally aware enough to know that I was running from it, but not emotionally aware enough to confront it. Therapy works, folks.

Dr_Satan OP , (edited )

Agreed. Say, past trauma. Leading to anxiety, anger and etc.

I don’t put much hope rational analysis.

Maybe solitude and meditation. Maybe a month in the forest with friends and a big bag of shrooms.

kby , (edited )

Excuse me, but sometimes, I just want to be angry and not “rationalize the causes of my anger”. I think it’s fully okay to be pissed about something and wanting to vocalize your anger without immediately neutering it by “expressing” the thing that made you angry instead. I would even say that trying to extinguish your emotions constantly will cause you to explode like a pressure cooker one day. You are just invalidating your own emotional reaction. Same thing applies when someone hurts me. You hurt me, goddamn it, I am gonna tell you why I got hurt, but most importantly, I am going to express how much I got hurt.

asdfasdfasdf ,

So if someone you love tells you if you want to have good job prospects you shouldn’t get a face tattoo, it’s okay to get angry at them right away because they hurt your feelings?

I think the point here is people get angry at stuff all the time that they shouldn’t be angry at. Helpful advice, someone pulling in front of them in traffic, online comments disagreeing with them, etc. it’s good to make sure you understand why you’re angry, or else you’re just blind.

A lot of people might be angry about the face tattoo comment, and leave it at “the other person is being mean / closed minded”, then proceed to go and get one, then continue to be angry the rest of their lives when they can’t get a job.

Reflecting on things in general, especially emotion, means you grow. It’s self education.

Tier1BuildABear ,
@Tier1BuildABear@lemmy.world avatar

Usually it’s my own stupidity, clumsiness, dumb decisions, or ignorance, and knowing that just makes me more angry :/

Archelon ,

And it’s good to recognize that! It means now you know to work on self-compassion (which is really hard but really worth doing)

Nefara ,

Using it to fuel the motivation to change things. Get mad that you tripped over a cable? Time to finally do something about cable management. Is your boss or your job making you furious? Take the time to explore new opportunities. Pissed at how politics are going? Find out who represents your district and write them an email about the topic and make your voice heard. Anger can be a good thing when it makes someone get off their butt and make a change for the better.

Dagwood222 ,

Talking to the people involved in a calm and rational way works for most human interactions.

Exercise is a good way to work out the things that don’t yield to logic.

Self appraisal and making positive changes in your life and/or environment is another way.

I spent years thinking I hated work, then I found a job where I used my natural talents and fit in.

ABCDE ,

Kicking a football, you can hit it as hard as you can at the goal and it’s more acceptable than at a person directly.

DarkGamer ,
@DarkGamer@kbin.social avatar

Punching a punching bag, or a pillow.

sir_pronoun ,

Playing competitive video games (might not be healthy for everybody)

ABCDE ,

I had to stop playing DotA…

dustyData ,

Heavy metal. Literally. Singing, listening, playing, headbanging to heavy metal. Just like listening to sad music helps with sadness because it provides a safe outlet for emotion. So does engaging with angry music. Some of the mildest, most accepting and emotionally well adjusted people I’ve met were metal heads. And they were social activists as well.

Prok ,
@Prok@lemmy.world avatar

Not all metal is angry…

ABCDE ,

They didn’t say it was.

Prok ,
@Prok@lemmy.world avatar

They implied it, but yeah, I was probably reading into it too much…

ABCDE ,

I think you mean you think they implied it. :P

synae ,
@synae@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

Implied, ABCDE? Or implode?

DontTreadOnBigfoot ,
@DontTreadOnBigfoot@lemmy.world avatar

I combine two of the suggestions in this post.

I blow off steam by simultaneously listening to, and lifting, heavy metal.

Bougie_Birdie ,
@Bougie_Birdie@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

You’ll probably enjoy this

ShellMonkey ,
@ShellMonkey@lemmy.socdojo.com avatar

uq.edu.au/…/head-banging-tunes-can-have-same-effe…

There have been a few similar studies that support this. Largely that it has a catharsis effect to let someone else be angry for you.

Anticorp ,

I’ve never found a better song for this than Killing in the Name by Rage Against the Machine.

Maggoty ,

Listening to sad music can cause a spiral. Absolutely do not recommend unless you’ve specifically setup a playlist to transition emotionally and at least looked up how to do so in a healthy manner. (Like don’t go from sad songs to rage metal.)

Deestan ,

Punk rock karaoke

Semi-Hemi-Demigod ,
@Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social avatar

And mosh pits

ChunkMcHorkle , (edited )
@ChunkMcHorkle@lemmy.world avatar

Get some time and space to yourself, 10 to 30 minutes, depending on the complexity of the situation. Think about exactly who/what you are angry with, and why (including yourself*). Don’t worry about solving it, just get it front and center in your mind. Pile up a huge number of couch cushions. Beat the ever livin’ fuck out of them with your fists and feet until you break down or wear yourself out. Repeat as necessary.

*Note: One of the reasons some emotional things never die is because we try to solve them without including ourselves in the equation: we see forgiveness is needed but we don’t include ourselves, for example, or guilt needs addressing but we don’t want to measure our own part in it because someone else’s betrayal was so overwhelming that it’s almost unbearable to think of the self as participatory in that destruction. Yet those are examples of exactly the kind of inner situation that keep us stuck in unhealthy emotional patterns. If you really want to get out of an emotional trap, including anger that doesn’t quit, and you think you’ve tried everything, try specifically looking for exactly what you don’t want to see about your own part in it.

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