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vane ,

Just buy some commercial property, island, luxury house that is worth 100M, it can be done in less then a week. 3 weeks left to think and organize how to spend 1 billion in 1 day.

YtA4QCam2A9j7EfTgHrH ,

Surely the answer to this is to buy really short term options. Bad case is you lose all the money and get a billion. Good case is that you make even more money.

offspec ,

They said no gambling

YtA4QCam2A9j7EfTgHrH ,

Wouldn’t that be classified as “investing” at least according to the government.

JackbyDev ,

Just buy like every house lol. Actually just put in an offer for any house for a 100 mil.

BigBananaDealer ,
@BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee avatar

sorry no, credit score is bad so we refuse to sell to you

Underwaterbob ,

Sleep with pornstar. Excessive hush money. Boom!

Frozengyro ,

I think most of us would get paid to keep things quiet. I’m not important enough for hush money.

Underwaterbob ,

Ahh, but with a billion, you would be important enough.

ICastFist ,

Would donations count as gifting? There are so many FOSS projects that could use the cash inflow.

If it doesn’t count, well, prepare for a deluge of hentai to show up in a month.

MNByChoice ,

Yes. You can buy their support though.

volvoxvsmarla ,

I was thinking about not donating to charity but buying stuff directly and asking them for support to ship it. Basically that makes you buy and not gift. If you buy 1 gigaton of rice for Ethiopia (I have no clue how many people a gigaton of rice would feed and I also have no clue whether Ethiopians need any rice) from Costco, well, then you have spent the money on it. Fuck it, maybe buy a boat. A ferry to ship it all directly. Buy land and don’t gift but let workers work there. For free. For eternity. Oh you happen to pay them 50 times the average salary of their country? Well you’re probably a bad businessman but you’re not gifting. Pay the lawyers to make a bulletproof testament where you explicitly state that these poor fellas will never own the land but will for eternity be able to use it for free until the sun explodes.

And then bribe. Bribe away the heartache, bribe away the pain. Bribe the SCOTUS to retire. Bribe Putin to stop the war and fuck off. Bribe Trump to fuck off. Bribe Musk to get a vasectomy and fuck off. I mean you’re basically just lobbying at that point but we all know that that’s bribing and not gifting.

Underwaterbob ,

I also have no clue whether Ethiopians need any rice

The Ethiopian famine was 30 years ago. Not that they haven’t had troubles off-and-on since then.

Mango ,

Well if everyone has a price, I’m gonna get that girl!

garbagebagel ,

Can I do the lobbying thing to get a nice human rights or climate law passed or is 100M still too poor for that

ryannathans ,

That sounds like gifting

trslim ,

I think it would officially be lobbying, or, in laymans terms, bribery.

AndrasKrigare ,

The Brewster’s Millions genie

EnderMB ,

I would’ve thought that this could be quite simple.

  • A few flights in a private jet, or long-term purchasing for the whole month to take you wherever you want.
  • Several $250k-500k cars in each location to take you wherever you want
  • A private show from a famous band can set you back a few million. Do this each day.
  • Go to Vegas and get in a pissing content with some rich cunt where you send expensive drinks to each others table, until one folds. That’ll be a few million each night.
  • Trump spent a ton on sex, so high class hookers?
  • A few ads across multiple providers to promote something
  • Prize fights can be set up quickly, and have the best in combat sports ready in 30 days. Offer $1m per division for the winner, and do it across maybe 4-5 sports, pay for TV and streaming, set up a venue, and you’ll probably blow through it all.
KrankyKong ,

Single use luxury cars is my favorite one

garbagebagel ,

I would spend all 100M to get ads put up all over the country of people who have wronged me and my loved ones. They’ll just be like really awful pictures of them with really petty captions like “doesn’t help carry suitcases”, “laughed at a disabled person”, “sneezed too loud that one time”. That’ll show them.

militaryintelligence ,

Give it to me, I’ll invest it

fuckwit_mcbumcrumble ,

no gambling

Ledivin ,

Sure on stocks, but would bonds be considered gambling?

howrar ,

It’s only gambling if you intend to sell it off for a profit. I just want to own a piece of a cool company.

brown567 ,

Easy! Just spend the month in a US hospital without insurance

Hopefully the billion will cover the rest of the bill

HappycamperNZ ,

You know it won’t

DigiDemiFiend ,

Does a Gacha count as gambling? I’m still missing some ZZZ Agents and some Nikkes

rand_alpha19 ,

No knowledge of the financial stuff, but maybe: put most of it in a variety of ETFs, hire a financial advisor and an accountant to help you navigate the system and the taxes, then cash out and donate it.

You spend it without giving it away. Then you give it away. Some countries give you a lot of it back at tax time if you donate to registered charities so you'll even get something for it. I dunno, I'm a poor so maybe it wouldn't work out, but it would be cool.

PraiseTheSoup ,

“Investing” is just gambling with extra steps.

rand_alpha19 ,

Yes, and ETFs have the best odds with pretty low, but relatively stable, returns. It's fairly low-risk because that's how index funds work. Retail investing is not really for me, so low-risk is the most I am comfortable with.

In this scenario, I only need to keep the money in stocks for 1 month. It's not like investing in crypto, I'd lose barely any of it in that time.

Mr_Fish ,

Does it need to be net spending, or can I just buy and sell things really fast?

cymbal_king ,

Easy, buy up a bunch of land for conservation

Tak ,
@Tak@lemmy.ml avatar

Buy $20 for $100 million. If you can “buy” nft’s then Idk why you can’t buy something with less value.

Blue_Morpho ,

The $20 bill has a unique serial number just like the nft.

Pistcow ,

m.youtube.com/watch?v=A81DYZh6KaQ

Alexstarfire ,

It’s even better because no one else can have that same bill at the same time.

HakFoo ,

There are some recent $1 notes where the same serial was issued twice.

mycurrencycollection.com/…/1-2013-new-york-duplic…

Alexstarfire ,

Still 2 different bills.

Viking_Hippie ,

If you can “buy” nft’s then Idk why you can’t buy something with less value.

I’ll tell you why: because there’s nothing with less value than an nft.

Tak ,
@Tak@lemmy.ml avatar

Lol That’s damn good.

qjkxbmwvz ,

Property can take a while to close — offer to title in under 30 days is on the quick side.

Of course, you could probably close very fast if you offered 100M cash on a 10M property…

Baphomet_The_Blasphemer ,

If you’re buying vacant land and paying cash, you can close really quickly as there’s nothing in need of inspection, and loan processing times aren’t a factor… I have a buddy who just purchased 100+ acres of vacant land from a logging company. He paid cash and was able to close in just a few weeks.

Omgpwnies ,

yeah, usually closing time is just buffer time for people to get their affairs in order, move out, inspections, lawyer stuff, etc. If you offer straight up cash and pay a boatload to the lawyers to get the paperwork done up ASAP, you can close likely within a couple weeks

MNByChoice ,

In “Bewster’s Millions” he also had to have nothing of value at the end.

So yes that is a good method for this formula of the question.

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