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zeppo ,
@zeppo@lemmy.world avatar

I’m going to take the free gravel and 7 inch teleportation. The gravel is a valuable commodity which can be sold. 7 inches is enough to get through any doorway.

I_Has_A_Hat ,

7 inches is enough to get through any doorway.

But not necessarily your whole body. Unless you are a beanpole and your entire body is less than 7" thick, part of your body is going to be stuck in the door.

NewDark ,

I want to imagine the real world would freak the fuck out the way some objects in a game engine do when you mash them together.

Fridgeratr ,

Instant nuclear fusion explosion

bingbong ,

So it’s a pretty good super power then

BluJay320 ,
@BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Yes, but only once

bingbong ,

Just teleport 7 inches away, duh

That should be a safe distance

BowtiesAreCool ,

Nah there’s enough space between atoms, they’ll just converge into perfect matrix of flesh and door

danwardvs ,

I’m hearing GMod/Source clunking sounds.

zeppo ,
@zeppo@lemmy.world avatar

I was going to squinch up real tight every time and only teleport through glass doors

Frozengyro ,

That’s how you lose your butt

zeppo ,
@zeppo@lemmy.world avatar

What happens though? It just gets cut off?

MightyGalhupo ,

Leaves a nut shaped hole in the door and that part of the door appears where your butt was

someguy3 ,

This was my thought.

Rolando ,

Ok wiseguy:

  • hold 8 inch icicle up to someone’s head
  • teleport 7 inches forward
  • "we can’t figure out what killed em!"
Kase ,

If you can make sure it’s just your nose that gets stuck, then pair it up with pill #4, you’ll be good. Hope that helps lol

AeroLemming ,

It doesn’t specify a cooldown on the teleportation. You could potentially move very quickly by rapidly teleporting, kind of like the old minecart trick in Minecraft.

nogrub ,

but when i see a pill it kinda seems like a one use kinda thing

papalonian ,

Feel like these are definitely permanent status effects

Rolando ,

I thought this was like the Matrix, it gives you that ability.

Kase ,

Maybe you gotta take a pill every time you want to teleport

atlasraven31 ,

The scifi book Battlefield Earth uses teleportion as a means of propulsion. The teleportation gives fighter planes a defensive and offensive advantage.

Holyhandgrenade ,
@Holyhandgrenade@lemmy.world avatar

By far the least crazy idea L. Ron Hubbard ever had

nUbee ,

I would imagine it would be like Arm pumping.

Rai ,

Does the teleportation create an exact copy of you and destroy who you are, or does it just move you exactly and rebuild your brain perfectly so you’re exactly the you you were before the teleport?

CeruleanRuin ,

Personally it would work the same as when you move through space by conventional means.

TheRaven ,
@TheRaven@lemmy.ca avatar

7 inches is enough to get you mostly through a doorway.

Doors are about 1.5 inches thick. The average chest depth of an American male is 11.5 inches.

Teleporting yourself 7 inches forward would put a door 7 inches from your front and 3 inches from your back. You would have to only be 5.5 inches deep in order to make it entirely through the doorway without merging with the door.

zeppo ,
@zeppo@lemmy.world avatar

It depends how exactly it works. If it’s the very front of my body moves forward 7 inches, yeah, that’s not great. I was hoping for measuring from the center or something. What happens if i overlap something, anyway? Nuclear fusion?

Decoy321 ,

It wouldn’t matter what part of your body moves if your whole body retains its shape (as in, doesn’t stretch or deform in any way). If you stay the same shape, you moving 7" means the whole of you (front, middle, and back) moving 7".

If your body stretched during teleport, then you’ll probably have other problems aside of the displacement issue.

TheMauveAvenger ,

It matters what part of the body the measurement is tied to for start and finish. If it has to be the same point on the body then it’s a problem, but if the anchor point can change then there are greater possibilities.

I can put my hand on the door and extend my foot backwards. If my hand is the anchor point to start and my foot is the anchor point to end, then certain parts of my body have teleported more than 7", but in the aggregate at least one part of my whole body is always within a 7" distance from anchor to anchor. That would mean I could teleport my whole body through any solid item that is less than 7" thick.

BluJay320 ,
@BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Now you’re thinking with portals

… wait, wrong power

BowtiesAreCool ,

That makes no sense

wildginger ,

Pre teleport hand position is A.

Post teleport foot position is B.

The distance between A and B is 7 inches.

“You” teleport 7 inches, but if “you” is a relative concept thats so far undefined (are your clothes “you”? The contents of your stomach? The air in your lungs? What chemicals dissolved in your blood count as “you”?), and A and B are both “you,” technically youve teleported 7 inches while sort of fudging the actual distance.

As with all magic, the interpretation of the rules is more important than the rules themselves.

swab148 ,
@swab148@startrek.website avatar

I think we’d have to figure out at what part of the brain consciousness originates before we could implement teleportation, because you’d (almost) always want to travel exactly 7" from your point of view.

I_Has_A_Hat ,

No, that’s fundamentally breaking the 7 inch limit.

In that scenario, both your hand and foot would have traveled more than 7 inches. They would have traveled 7 PLUS the pre-teleport distance between your hand and foot. That’s the same distance every part of your body would have traveled.

It doesn’t matter how you cut it, or how you define “you”. You would be teleporting more than 7 inches. There isn’t a single part of you that would ONLY be teleporting 7 inches.

Decoy321 ,

Fair, but at that point you’re just arbitrarily redefining the rule of “teleport 7” away" to cheat this thought experiment.

TheMauveAvenger ,

Not cheating anything, just asking questions to define the parameters of the power.

zeppo ,
@zeppo@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks, this helps. I had to think about it for a while. I think what I envisioned was “teleport me past any obstacle less than 7 inches”.

GnomeKat ,
@GnomeKat@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

The more important question is, what is the cool down? If you can just spam it really fast you can essentially move at (7inchs/teleport) * (teleports/second)… if you can spam that multiple times a second you could actually move really fast, even fly.

SadTrain ,

Too bad your clothes stay on the other side. I guess you can try to teleport out of county lockup too

mosiacmango ,

Cops dont even show up to actual crimes. Aint no one grabbing the naked dude blipping in and out of reality as they pass through walls.

zeppo ,
@zeppo@lemmy.world avatar

What this comes down to is too few details. The fine print definitely matters

kibiz0r ,

If your clothes stay behind, then what else does?

Dirt, dust, dead skin? Oils? Gut bacteria? Dental fillings? Food you just ate? Oxygen in your lungs? Oxygen in your blood? Implants for sure, right? What about hair, or nails?

I can imagine a scenario where someone tries this ability for the first time only to wind up naked, perfectly clean-shaven, bleeding profusely from every orifice and extremity, breathless and doubled over in pain, convulsing on a pile of shit, hair and other gross, getting their back sliced open by disembodied toenails.

Buddahriffic ,

And do you swap places with matter at your destination or just fit your pieces around and into whatever is already there?

If you don’t swap, you could end up with air in your blood stream and bacteria and fungal spores everywhere. And a chance of nuclear fusion depending on how close atoms end up to each other. And if it can fuck with things at a nuclear level, it will also fuck with them at a chemical and structural level.

Or if you do swap, it becomes a powerful weapon where you just pop into someone’s body, putting the parts of them you overlap with where you used to be, then you just pop back out in a different spot. Bank vault door is too thick? Just teleport multiple times and you’ll get through safely as long as you can remain pretty still while going through it. If you can constantly teleport a tiny distance, you might be impervious to all attacks because stuff would get swapped before it impacts you, but that “might” is doing a lot of lifting. Though you probably also wouldn’t be able to hear sound, so you would be vulnerable when having conversations or listening to music.

theneverfox ,

Free gravel is a clear winner… If there’s no limits, you could straight up build artificial islands, you could destroy cities… It’s a legit super power. Hell, unless there’s extreme limits that make it worthless, you could do a lot.

Teleporting is tempting, and if you could use it fast enough you could fly or at least walk at insane speeds… Depending on the limits, I’d take that over gravel

But any toaster? That’s a brain computer interface right there. Even if it’s one way, and you have to do it manually and pay for power? With 30 toasters you could type anything. You could learn stenography to do it faster. Or, if you could manipulate toasters past their capabilities, you could generate infinite power or burn down entire cities

MBM ,

For the gravel, I assumed it meant that any place that sells gravel is forced to give it to you for free. Still really powerful, but you have to think about the logistics.

electrogamerman ,

still OP. Now I control all gravel in the world.

MTK ,

Also if you can telelport but leave your poop behind think how easy pooping would be!

ToeNailClippings ,

3 and 5 could be quite useful.

What type of teleportation? Mist, evapouration, inflation? Flashing? What type of toaster control? Making them rise up like Magneto, or just switching them on with your mind?

agressivelyPassive ,

7 too. This weird cup game is super easy, because you’ll always see which cup is not empty.

stom ,
@stom@lemmy.world avatar

You can make a toaster do anything a toaster can do. It can’t clean your house or fly, because it’s a toaster.

tslnox ,

Talkie’s the name, toasting’s the game! I toast, therefore I am.

stom ,
@stom@lemmy.world avatar

We don’t want muffins, no toast, buns, baps, bagets or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no teacakes, no potato cakes and no hot cross buns! And definitely no smegging flapjacks!

tslnox ,

Ahh, so you’re a waffle man!

egeres ,
@egeres@lemmy.world avatar

I think you guys are underrating a few of these

  • 8 could be useful if you’re a spy and want to have your own private documents that noone can read
  • 1 you could leave oysters in places suited for eavesdropping, and maybe even coordinate billions of them to tackle down ships etc (?)
  • 5 It would be possible to all of the sudden communicate with all humanity in morse code by turning them on and off, you would hit headlines and maybe demand a crazy amount of money in cardano/bitcoin or else you’ll just blow up the toast industry. Plus, this morse code thing could lead to a cult where you might have fanatics at your advantage
PrimePathPioneer ,

3 and 7, teleporting a short distance like that can be extremely useful to get past roors and fences. Identifying whether a container was empty or not reliably is good enough proof to clean out this listwithout being powerful enough that the majority of people would actually believe I have magic, plus I don’t have to reveal my teleporting ability.

LiamMayfair ,

5 and 8. Imagine being able to spook people out all around the world by making their toaster go off in the middle of the night. Also, speaking in dead languages will make me very interesting at parties.

MTK ,

2 for money

3 for everything else. Think about it! Assuming you can teleport in any direction as fast as you can think then you can fly, move super fast, dodge any attack, pass through thin barriers (such as fences, thin walls, etc) swim super fast and depending on the rules of this power maybe you can poop really fast by teleporting away but leaving your poop behind!

rutenl ,

If you fly by teleportation you’d still accelerate towards the ground from gravity and when you land you’ll splat

otter ,

What if we teleport upside down temporarily? Would we accelerate ‘Up’ for a moment, thus decelerating?

abbotsbury ,
@abbotsbury@lemmy.world avatar

No, you’re teleporting, you instantly appear 7 inches away. In the time it takes you to teleporting again, no matter how short, you will start falling and gaining velocity.

isolatedscotch ,

does the teleporting retain the velocity?

MightyGalhupo ,

But does teleporting reset momentum?

abbotsbury ,
@abbotsbury@lemmy.world avatar

Unless otherwise stated, I assume all relative inertia is preserved.

debil ,

Plot twist: the act of teleportation is extremely tasking both physically and mentally. Even the most capable persons haven’t been able to teleport more than twice a day.

Gloomy ,
@Gloomy@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

What is this, lost earth?

Nikls94 ,

2 and 5

2 because gravel can be sold

5 because imagine you’re in a hotel and just mess with people

pinkdrunkenelephants ,

3 and 5. I would wreak so much havoc, it’d be fucking great

ohlaph ,

What would you do with 5?

MeDuViNoX ,
@MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works avatar

Weld toasters to weapons of war and take over the world.

ohlaph ,

Okay, okay, calm down.

Speiser0 ,

3 and 5.

5 because it would even work on toasters that can do more than just toast, i.e. a toaster plus computer.

3 because the other pills don’t sound useful. And it doesn’t say how often I can use this teleportation. So I assume through repeated teleportation I’d be super fast. If it doesn’t also teleport my cloths, I’d probably not use it too often though, apart from changing cloths (the 17.78 cm should be barely enough). It would also be interesting to fly using repeated teleportation. Though if my speed is not also reset through teleportation, I’d still fall, and landing would be dangerous. And if cloths and similar are not teleported with me, I also couldn’t take a parachute or wings with me.

Cracks_InTheWalls ,
@Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works avatar

3 and 5 are the best, if you ever find yourself held captive. 7 inches can get you out of a cell, also cuffs if your clothes don’t teleport too. You can manipulate the toaster as a distraction or to start a fire.

100% my choice.

JackbyDev ,

I hereby call bullshit on your reasoning for number five. The pill gods will give you control of traditional toasters only. In the event of toasters attached to other things you may only control the toasting elements. We preemptively declare CPUs are not toasting elements.

Insig ,

My cpu says otherwise, while playing some poe, could easily toast some nice batch bread while grinding out maps.

ubermeisters ,
@ubermeisters@lemmy.world avatar

deleted_by_author

    •
    isVeryLoud ,

    No, the container has to be empty for you to see through it.

    FollyDolly ,
    @FollyDolly@lemmy.world avatar

    As someone with a gravel driveway, I will take free gravel for life. Lump sum is okay but installments are prefured.

    Thorny_Insight ,

    The person making this has never had gravel delivered for their driveway

    norgur ,
    @norgur@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

    Yep. I’m gonna dominate the gravel markets!

    Froglich ,

    Exactly, I’ll happily take that pill!

    Mobiuthuselah ,

    I saw that and thought, I’ll take two loads right now! No, three!

    arefx ,

    3 and 7 could be useful

    sharktongue ,

    Steal, get caught, escape.

    JackbyDev ,

    1 and 7. Knowing if things are empty might be marginally useful. Communicating with oysters seems fascinating. Oysters are similar to coral in that they are an important part of forming habits for fish. Being able to ask them what’s troubling them could be useful for conservation efforts.

    Lolors17 ,

    Apart fron all the others, number 7 seems kinda useful.

    brlemworld ,

    Yep. This cup has the ball in it because I can see inside the others. Give me my $20.

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