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Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

Racist-ass, capitalist turtle.

taiyang ,

Oh no, it’s only a matter of time before he runs for president.

random_character_a ,
@random_character_a@lemmy.world avatar

…and will die 29 years after second civil war or what will be better known as failed MAGA uprising of the the mad orange king.

AllNewTypeFace ,
@AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space avatar

He’s getting around to it; be patient

grue ,

Why are abolishing slavery and establishing the Federal Reserve being treated as if they’re equivalently bad when they are very much not? This meme is subtly pushing a gold bug/crypto bro agenda.

HubertManne ,

yeah I found that a wierd combo. did he also act to try to get universal healthcare?

Assman ,
@Assman@sh.itjust.works avatar

He’s mostly just been eating lettuce

troglodytis ,

What an ass

jdeath ,

the fed makes us all slaves. chattel slavery was definitely worse tho

nova_ad_vitum ,

Gonna show your work or…?

danc4498 ,

Cause Libertarians gonna libertary?

pipows ,

I also enjoy spreading libertarian propaganda

ahal ,

Aww, lay off Jonathan. He’s a pioneer for gay rights, which is much more than can be said for any of you lot.

Due to his advanced age, Jonathan spends his days doing almost everything with his mate, including eating, sleeping and mating… The sex of Frederica, … his companion since 1991, was cast into doubt in 2017 when island veterinarian Catherine Man indicated that due to a deformity of its plastron its sex could not be verified,[4] and is now known to be male, being renamed Frederik.

Viking_Hippie ,

renamed Frederik.

So they didn’t just reassess the gender, but also repatriated him by naming him after the king (then crown prince) of Denmark

jaybone ,

My Plastron also got deformed when I had a GI Joe guy use a hair spray bottle as a blowtorch.

Blackout ,

Here's me at 193 years old
https://c.tenor.com/4i48Gxv0fq8AAAAd/tenor.gif

Varyk ,

wikipedia:

“His age is estimated because he was “fully mature” when brought to Saint Helena in 1882. “Fully mature” means at least 50 years old, giving him a hatching date no later than 1832.[8] A photograph featuring Jonathan originally thought to date from 1902 actually dates from 1886,[2] showing Jonathan four years after his arrival on Saint Helena. Measurements taken from the photograph show that he was fully mature in 1886.[citation needed]”

yamapikariya OP ,
@yamapikariya@lemmyfi.com avatar

Well you did in fact check the facts.

Varyk ,

In December 2015, the St Helena vet Joe Hollins said that Jonathan was “alive and well […] He’s blind from cataracts, has lost his sense of smell, and so cannot detect food (his fellow giants mug him and can detect the tiniest morsel dropped on the ground), but he has retained excellent hearing.”[1]

Viking_Hippie ,

I think “well” is a bit of an overstatement tbh…

JohnBrownII ,

The 13th Amendment did not abolish slavery. It made it a punishment for a crime

atocci ,

Sounds like Jonathan still has a chance to redeem himself then

Atelopus-zeteki ,

I mean, Big J IS a tortoise. I'm pretty sure he's been working on social justice, but you know, it's going kinda slowly.

Blackout ,

Slavery is still the best way to make money if you own slaves. Elon Musk knows this.

JusticeForPorygon ,
@JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world avatar

Johnathan shot President Garfield

henfredemars ,

He did nothing that we know of.

Zachariah ,
@Zachariah@lemmy.world avatar

Slow and steady wins the race.

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