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lgmjon64 ,

I had these in a few houses in Germany. I call them trophy shelf toilets.

bricklove ,

Did you have the light switch outside the bathroom too? That way your friends can make you poop in the dark

Phoenix3875 ,

Comments on toilets of France, England, and Germany by Slavoj Zizek: youtube.com/watch?v=8mtZmBvat4k

Another good bit (not in the video) is that Zizek thinks that’s why Germans can endure great pain and sacrifices for an ideal…if you are strong enough to observe your shit for health reasons, there’s nothing you can’t do!

Jumpingspiderman ,

German toilets are like that too.

Sabre363 ,

How else are you supposed to flush your nuts

ReallyActuallyFrankenstein ,

I’m confused, isn’t this a better spot for the drain hole? When you sit facing the wall? So you have a shelf for your comic books and chocolate milk?

baggachipz ,

You should see the Dutch Oven….

kia ,

Just sit facing the wall.

Pilon23 ,

That way you can use the shelf for your chocolate milk and comic book

Nuke_the_whales ,

So your shit just piles up on the upper part till it kisses your asshole?

TheRisingApe ,

We referred to it as the poop shelf on our last visit.

apfelwoiSchoppen ,
@apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world avatar

Decades ago we called this the poop shelf as well.

sxan ,
@sxan@midwest.social avatar

Um… if you’re holding on to that much shit, you may want you see a doctor.

Frozengyro ,

You’ve clearly never seen an American eat. 3 triple burgers, a large fry, and a milkshake is the standard dinner while dieting.

SynopsisTantilize ,

People who downvoted you are weak stomached non Americans

Frozengyro ,

I’m sure those who down voted shame their ancestors by leaving food on their plate.

user224 ,
@user224@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

I have some experience with these. The only problem is that as the vertically standing excrement begins to collapse forwards, there is a chace for it to keep contact and drag its top portion across, from your anus towards the front. You can avoid this with a maneuver, pulling yourself up and slightly forward, right after the singular vertical log begins losing contact with the excretion area.

This is not a joke

AnomalousBit ,

Give this person an honorary degree in Turd Dynamics. Have you considered publishing your findings in the journal Nature?

jaemo ,

Turdonomy AND Turdology, a double threat!

ivanafterall ,
@ivanafterall@lemmy.world avatar

A.k.a. “Logology.”

AnomalousBit ,

The Real Deuce of studies.

SynopsisTantilize ,

It’s trying to touch your balls isn’t it…?

Simulation6 ,

It gives you the opportunity to examine it. I think that is the reason for the design.

floofloof ,

And to savour the undiluted aroma.

zero_spelled_with_an_ecks ,

Since it’s already coming out, is it a French/Australian kiss?

set_secret ,

Usa drops kids off at pool, the dutch stack shelves.

Diplomjodler3 ,

Story time: I once briefly lived in a place that had an old toilet bowl like this. You can still find them in older houses. One day I took a massive shit and then found out that the flush wasn’t strong enough to get it down from there. And there wasn’t a brush. Yikes. Just wanted to share that with you guys.

valkyre09 ,

Origami toilet brush made from toilet paper. Yikes

Spezi ,

The trick is to put 3 pieces of toilet paper in beforehand, that way the whole shitboat can float away.

pineapplelover ,

Actually? Or are you joking?

Linnce ,

So what did you do next? I’m thoroughly invested in the story

someguy3 ,

Did you use the poop knife?

absGeekNZ ,
@absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz avatar

I came here to reference this, great work.

PenisDuckCuck9001 ,

What if I don’t want to observe my turd on an elevated toilet bowl pedestal every time I take a shit?

i_stole_ur_taco ,

You have to do the ‘ol’ push ‘n flush and hope you got the timing down.

Turns out your shit sitting exposed on a dry shelf smells exponentially worse than when it drops into water. Anyone still using these toilets in the 21st century is a psychopath.

Slovene ,

You seat on it reverse.

SirQuackTheDuck ,

You’d be shit out of luck

walter_wiggles ,

Yeah but where’s your poop knife?

hoch ,

ah, je mean de poop clogs?

jedibob5 ,

It sure does.

Cuzscience ,

That’s what the three shells are for.

Transporter_Room_3 ,
@Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website avatar

Pfffffffff he doesn’t know how the three shells work!

Snowpix ,
@Snowpix@lemmy.ca avatar

Wait, so I’m not supposed to throw them at other cars in traffic?

Pantsofmagic ,

I’m still trying to understand which of the three shells is the correct one to use as a poop knife

AuntieFreeze ,

The mashitty?

I_Miss_Daniel ,

Just use a shit stirrer.

SonicBlue03 ,

This is how you go Dutch.

unexposedhazard ,

I know the meme is that people use it to look at their poop, but honestly the main advantage is the 0% chance of water splashing up. I will take this design over the “standard” ones any day.

FriedRice ,

But what about just poop on some toilet paper, make no splash, and the smell is still not so hard, as with the dutch/German toilet

supergrizzlybear ,
@supergrizzlybear@pawb.social avatar

You haven’t thought of the smell!

altima_neo ,
@altima_neo@lemmy.zip avatar

What kind of rock hard dookes are you laying?

woelkchen ,
@woelkchen@lemmy.world avatar

Probably standard European fibre rich turds.

shadowedcross ,

Have found that putting a little bit of TP in the water before commencing the act helps a lot to avoid Poseidon’s kiss.

somewhiteguy ,

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XNDM4eAn1U

floofloof ,

I once stopped in urgent need of a toilet at the dirtiest little gas station in the middle of nowhere, where the one guy on duty directed me out back to a foul, stunningly filthy toilet. After doing my business I arose and, turning to face the toilet, flushed. It was an old flush mechanism where the water just kind of fell in from all sides, causing a kind of trapped tsunami to eject a single drop of fresh poop water 7 feet up in the air and down straight into my mouth.

If my many decades of life have taught me anything, it’s to close my mouth when flushing or scrubbing the toilet.

Nikls94 ,

It’s so you can examine your stool, you might have some blood or a consistency you don’t like, that way you see it

wreckedcarzz ,
@wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world avatar

Wake up, coffee, breakfast, shit, see how much of last nights meal was really digested, shower, shave, work

Typical morning, idk what the big fuss is

GBU_28 ,

I’ve never not been able to detect something like that with a water-under toilet

floofloof ,

It also helps you gauge the poop’s internal temperature using the back of your scrote, if you are endowed with fairly loose balls.

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