There have been multiple accounts created with the sole purpose of posting advertisement posts or replies containing unsolicited advertising.

Accounts which solely post advertisements, or persistently post them may be terminated.

lemmyshitpost

This magazine is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

originalucifer , in And so on, and so forth...
@originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com avatar

wouldnt it be 64?

ickplant OP ,
@ickplant@lemmy.world avatar

For now, each only has 2 downlines… for now. They haven’t pissed off enough friends and relatives yet.

affiliate ,

64 would get you a nice bonus though

FlaminGoku ,

Naw, they’re so strong from carrying the weight of his company.

Ubermeisters , (edited )

2d pyramid x2, not 2d square, starting at a trucated tip to base, 2 level deep,starting at 4 since 8/2=4

[4 + (4 + 1)] * 2

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Don’t you dare question Bette Middler’s math! Who do you think you are?

Skeith , in They are watching

This is good shit lmao

RubberElectrons ,
@RubberElectrons@lemmy.world avatar

Yeah I fucking love this

Smokeydope , in When welding always wear proper PPE folks
@Smokeydope@lemmy.world avatar

Bad luck Brian, haven’t seen him in years. Nice throwback!

jimmydoreisalefty OP ,

Yes, we shall keep them coming while also not being afraid of new things!

iforgotmyinstance , in The condom business does not seem sustainable tbh.

You underestimate how much people fuck. It’s a physical compulsion. People be fuckin.

CurlyMoustache ,
@CurlyMoustache@lemmy.world avatar

We have all met your mother

Exusia ,
@Exusia@lemmy.world avatar

Curious. You speak fervently of your constant sexual encounters with my mother.

Yet you also seem predisposed to share how her appearance is grotesque, and her body mass rivals that of marine animals, that her odor is extreme, suggesting per your own words that she is unwashed for several decades.

Perchance, is this your sexual preference and you merely project it upon dearest mother mine?

Cabrio ,

Nah, you momma’s just so fat her gravitational field pulls the semen from those who pass her sphere of influence.

Pregnenolone ,

Hey! Don’t bad mouth your mother. She’s a beautiful and generous lady.

hungryphrog ,

Yay, body positivity!

PipedLinkBot , in Fire Facts with Pyro!

Here is an alternative Piped link(s): piped.video/s3T-_j0oWkI

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I’m open-source, check me out at GitHub.

feedum_sneedson , in The condom business does not seem sustainable tbh.

MAKE BETTER MEMES

NPC ,

No one is stopping you

ReadFanon , in providing dad with more toys
@ReadFanon@lemmygrad.ml avatar

This is even funnier if you assume that those messages were sent at 3am

theolodger ,

I mean, it doesn’t say 15:09

fne8w2ah , in Like clockwork

That reminds me of the early days of R*ddit.

_danny , in The condom business does not seem sustainable tbh.

Stories I’ve heard in the last year from my friends and co-workers:

  • Bragging about how they got 5 hours of sleep last night because their newborn finally slept until 6am
  • A “funny” story about how their 5 year old managed to get a hold of some chewing gum and got it stuck in their hair and all over a rug
  • A potty training “success” story about how their toddler remembered to pull down their pants, but remembered mid shit they should have sat on the toilet, so they shat all over the bathroom.
  • They found a juice box their kid bit a hole into and then tucked under their car seat… By smelling it rotting

Trojan just needs to get a group of parents together to tell stories about their kids and paste them word for word on the back of their boxes.

hemko ,

Have we talked before?

RGB3x3 ,

As someone about to be a parent for the first time in the next couple weeks, I’m starting to understand why parents are so enamored with those little stories.

I’m so excited about being able to raise a little girl and really want to be able to teach her everything. My wife and I will be able to experience the world in a completely new way because our child will have that excitement about everything that adults lose over time.

To each their own, I completely understand why someone wouldn’t want kids, but I definitely think those stories are really the greatest things in the world to the parents. Because generally, a parent’s kid is the best kid in the world to them.

festemmie ,

thank you for telling us how good having a kid can be, when nost people just think of the bad that kids can bring to their parents life

TrustingZebra ,

This but unironically.

festemmie ,

it was already unironical

msage ,

But he doesn’t have a kid yet, just an expectation.

I’m all for optimism, but always be aware that children might not meet your expectations. There’s a family with 3 severely autistic kids, all of them need constant supervision and can’t do anything themselves.

Be excited about kids, but also mindful that it is going to take a lot from your life.

RGB3x3 ,

I’m totally aware it’s not all going to be perfect all the time, if ever, because that’s not how life works.

But I definitely already feel unconditional love for the little thing. And I feel like it’s giving my wife and I a different kind of purpose in life.

My mom told me once that the unconditional love is hard, especially when life gets difficult. But the proudness she feels and the fulfillment having kids brought to her life is indescribable.

It’s not for everyone, but for those who enjoy it find more fulfillment than any singular other life pursuit could bring.

msage ,

I love hearing all your positive attitude, and wish you all the best. I truly wish you have the best kid in the world, and I hope you both make each other the best version of yourselves. Have a good day.

CurlyMoustache ,
@CurlyMoustache@lemmy.world avatar

I have coworker that is very good at her job, but lunch break is a pain. All she talks about is her kids. And when she does, she dominates lunch until lunch is over. If we talk about something else, she is quiet until there’s a split second pause in the conversation. Then she’s right in there with tidbits of what her kids said, did or something like that. Her kids are 10 and 12. They’re not cute anymore. She identifies her entire personality with her kids.

Luckily we can dictate ourselves if we want to come in to the office or work from home

Annoyed_Crabby ,

Wow, how dare they talk about their life.

_danny ,

Yes. That was my point. Definitely not that children are a handful and many people would rather not have that responsibility thrust upon them.

joshuaacasey , in providing dad with more toys
@joshuaacasey@lemmy.world avatar

Was thinking of a different, more adult kind of toy. Which technically I guess you could use a light saber for

Icaria , in Corpse:water ratio

Instructions unclear, drank corpse water.

thorbot , in The condom business does not seem sustainable tbh.

Yes because babies use condoms all the fucking time

festemmie ,

and they do not grow. they will just stay like that forever, with no bones

Blyfh ,

Wait, babies have no bones? I have been fooled!! /s

basxto ,
@basxto@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

*boners

festemmie ,

babies do not have bones or boners

Daft_ish , in why :C

Because unless you pay with your own blood how else we know you going to take care of this boi

balderdash9 , in providing dad with more toys
@balderdash9@lemmy.world avatar

A picture worth a thousand words lol

mustardman ,

A fake screenshot is worth no words

son_named_bort , in Corpse:water ratio

I mean, all sorts of creatures shit in the ocean and people still swim in it but one person shits in the pool…

bingbong ,

It’s called ‘being able to see the shit’

PP_BOY_ ,
@PP_BOY_@lemmy.world avatar

So if I put you in a L-shaped swimming pool and you knew there was shit around the corner, you’d be fine?

Getawombatupya ,

Yeah, but what about the Jaws music and the creeping brown?

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • [email protected]
  • random
  • lifeLocal
  • goranko
  • All magazines