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lemmyshitpost

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Aurenkin , in Sitting and shitting on my high horse

Don’t get off the carousel until you make your drop

AirDevil , in Space Alert

Mmm. Lost a planet, Master Stamets has. How embarrassing. How embarrassing. Find it, we will try

Excrubulent , in Space Alert
@Excrubulent@slrpnk.net avatar

I found it at the end of that big red arrow. Turns out it wasn’t a useless red arrow after all.

Atelopus-zeteki ,
@Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run avatar

4

Excrubulent ,
@Excrubulent@slrpnk.net avatar

Thanks, hopefully they can get this message now.

Atelopus-zeteki ,
@Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run avatar

It's not much, but...

SubArcticTundra , in Sitting and shitting on my high horse
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

I bet this is what the royal family use

RaoulDook , in Sitting and shitting on my high horse

Perfection

balderdash9 , in Space Alert

[clever comment that makes you laugh]

Octopus1348 ,
@Octopus1348@lemy.lol avatar

[Follow-up joke]

zero_spelled_with_an_ecks , in Sitting and shitting on my high horse

Finally you can post while you shit while you shitpost.

hedgehogging_the_bed ,

Nonsense, posting on that toilet without styrups would be damn near impossible.

Taleya , in Sitting and shitting on my high horse

The fact the sewer pipe has to logically be routed out the back end is sending me

Stern , in Sitting and shitting on my high horse
@Stern@lemmy.world avatar

only way I’ll sit to pee.

SubArcticTundra ,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

Nah you can still pee into this one from the side. You just have to arc it

ObviouslyNotBanana ,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

I’ll just pee into my horse from the side.

Maalus ,

Stand in front and do the bullet curving like in Wanted.

SubArcticTundra ,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

I’d be afraid I’d pee up the horse’s nostril

thenextguy , in Sitting and shitting on my high horse

media1.tenor.com/m/…/ride-horse.gif

SnokenKeekaGuard OP , in Sitting and shitting on my high horse
@SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Ask no questions regarding the floor mirror

MHanak ,

Why is there a mirror on the floor???

mojofrododojo ,

and why doesn’t it reflect the objects above it?

huh.

Winco , in Sitting and shitting on my high horse
@Winco@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

The toilet paper looks to be a bit of a reach. Not too far, but just far enough to be annoying.

Taleya ,

Get one of those grabby claw things, painted to resemble a polo club

SubArcticTundra ,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

Nah just get the horse to hand it to you

Taleya ,

I sent this post to my sister and she had concerns about the amount of clothing one would have to remove in order to shit on this thing. I suggested running sidesaddle and now she’s not talking to me

Dg2445 ,

Need to add a unicorn horn so you have a place to hang the tp.

SatansMaggotyCumFart ,

Also a way to dislodge stubborn poo-poos.

BlueLineBae ,
@BlueLineBae@midwest.social avatar

Look at this guy. He doesn’t know about the 3 seashells!!!

eezeebee ,
@eezeebee@lemmy.ca avatar

I imagine that, when your toilet looks like this, reaching the toilet paper is the restroom attendant’s job.

bmsok ,

Onward to the paper, my noble steed!

nieceandtows ,

That’s why you bring your sword with you.

mojofrododojo ,

that’s what squires are for.

The_Eminent_Bon , in Sitting and shitting on my high horse

Feeling fancy?

The_Eminent_Bon , in Space Alert

4

anindefinitearticle ,

Thank you for calling the Mars help line. Select from the following menu:

  1. Help line
  2. Visas and Passports
  3. Accommodations
  4. Ambassadorial Requests
  5. Rouge Planet Reporting System
  6. Financial Exchange
gravitas_deficiency ,

4

anindefinitearticle ,

Connecting…

Hi! Welcome to the Rouge Planet Reporting Agency’s Mars office.

To help us direct your call, please select from the following options.

  1. Any prank calls, jokes, comments, or other funny business
  2. Report a new planet discovery!
  3. Submit astrometry tracking data of a known planet from your location.
  4. if you have any information about Jupiter, press 4.
Linsensuppe ,

1

anindefinitearticle ,

Please leave your message after the beep.

beep

Linsensuppe ,

I think I saw Jupiter in or near Uranus.

Viking_Hippie , in Step aside NAFTA, here comes CUMFART

@SatansMaggotyCumFart your time to shine! Or ooze, I guess 🤷

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