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BobaFuttbucker , in LMAO

You put a paper clip in there and press the nose to marbleize your Janet.

bdonvr , in Just bang Hitler's mom

“Fuck hitler’s mom”

Yeah that sounds like the setup to a bootstrap paradox in which you were always hitler’s dad.

Chai ,

Get a vasectomy, then start the relationship.

Ertebolle ,

Ah, yes, the "release a bunch of infertile male mosquitoes so the females won't have any babies" approach to Hitler-offing.

30isthenew29 ,

If that’s the case, trying to kill Hitler would make Hitler what he always has been.

young_broccoli ,

I believe theres a twilight zone episode where that happens.

30isthenew29 ,

Which episode?

Master ,
@Master@sh.itjust.works avatar

The one where they go back in time and fuck hitler’s mom.

FlyingSquid , in Just bang Hitler's mom
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar
001100010010 ,
@001100010010@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

In an alternate timeline:

“Yea who’s the fuck is Hitler? Himmler is the fuhrer of our fatherland, the Great German Reich, that spans the entire world!”

Ertebolle ,

Germany was only 75 years old in 1941; for all we know it'd be some totally new country that ended up conquering everything. "Hail to Field Marshal Bing Bong Potatoman, ruler of our great glorious Zambonian Empire"

wolfpack86 ,

I welcome our new ice resurfacing overlords

agamemnonymous ,
@agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works avatar

What if Hitler was the best case scenario result of time traveler interference? He bungled a lot of decisions someone like Himmler probably wouldn’t have. What if WWII is ultimately unavoidable, and every other timeline was way worse?

001100010010 ,
@001100010010@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Maybe Hitler is actually a time traveller that pretends to be a nazi because from his timeline, the german fascist took over the world was way worse so he had to join the nazis to defeat the nazis? Maybe the Holocaust was like 10 times worse in his timeline and he intentionally did stupid decisions to reduce the kill count.

30isthenew29 ,

Would there even be an Oppenheimer movie in the new timeline?

WarmSoda ,

And without Oppenheimer we’d never have Barbie!

MargotRobbie ,
@MargotRobbie@lemmy.world avatar

:(

WarmSoda ,

But we’ll always have Margot in our hearts!

MargotRobbie ,
@MargotRobbie@lemmy.world avatar

:)

WarmSoda ,

Wait wait, I should have said:

We’ll always have Margot in our hearts, even if Hitler was never alive!

MargotRobbie ,
@MargotRobbie@lemmy.world avatar

I feel pretty Aladeen about this.

Hextic ,

Literally the start of Command and Conquer Red Alert lol

Nioxic , in Types of siblings

The driver controls the radio.

Sorry.

Norgur , in Hey guys, would you watch my glass of milk plox? I'll be right back <3

Oh you! Nice prank! You knew I'd try to drink it and filled the glass with wallpaint as a trap, eh? You got me good! Now do me a favor and call the poison hotline, you cheeky bugger!

andrew , in Just bang Hitler's mom
@andrew@lemmy.stuart.fun avatar

How would you know that this situation including time traveler dad’s disappearance doesn’t ultimately create him?

Wxnzxn ,
@Wxnzxn@lemmy.ml avatar

In general, all the “use time machine to kill Hitler” ideas (in the rare cases they are not presented as just a joke) assume that it was Hitler the person and not the socioeconomic and historical conditions that resulted in the catastrophe. There were enough little Hitlers to fill that role. If you want to prevent anything beyond small details, you have your hands full of work as a time traveler.

criticon ,

Use time travel to 1914 and save archduke Franz Ferdinand, avoid the great war and the economic sanctions imposed into Germany after the war

Master ,
@Master@sh.itjust.works avatar

Go back in time and try to flag down Archduke Ferdinand’s motor carriage only for the driver to get freaked out and go down the alternate route right to where Gavrilo was trying to get to the original route but was running late because another time traveler delayed him…

Soundhole , in Worry

I’m just an ignorant Yank, but is this really a big enough issue in the shit hole states that a billboard is necessary? I can’t even believe this is real!

LastoftheDinosaurs ,
@LastoftheDinosaurs@lemmy.world avatar

deleted_by_author

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  • yuri ,

    nebraska here and i’ve never seen an incest awareness sign. LOADS of pro life bullshit tho

    cvozbosher ,

    Same in Oregon. Never seen a “don’t rape your children” bilboard or “don’t shake a baby” bilboard. I do however see a lot of bilboards telling me how a 14 day conceived baby (fetus) has eyes, a beating heart, nails, and maybe a job with current labor laws being pushed. It’s wild how you can outright lie about that shit on a bilboard.

    Gray ,

    Growing up in Wisconsin, drunk driving was a serious issue. Especially on New Years and the Fourth of July. The joke was that every little town throughout Wisconsin always had a church and a bar. There were so many alcoholics that would spend every day at those bars. It’s a tradition that probably goes back to the idea of public houses and having bars be a central location where your community gathers. Many people take the drinking part of that too far though and so the anti-drunk driving PSAs were necessary.

    anonymoose , in got that dog in me 👿👿
    @anonymoose@lemmy.ca avatar

    She looks like a Disney princess 🥺

    databender , in Great. I'm a mouse.
    @databender@lemmy.world avatar
    peterg75 , in Worry
    @peterg75@lemmy.world avatar

    Let’s just agree that these states are also the places where the hypocrisy is the strongest.

    Just look at the facts: These are the places where you have to preserve the life of a fetus just because you can hear a heartbeat (heart is just a muscle sack that acts as a pump, nothing else), but you can freely shoot your neighbor, a fully gestated human, who has stumbled onto your yard.

    You have to remind parents not to have drunken sex with their children, but you cannot let LGBTQ people have a book store or a unisex bathroom.

    anonono ,

    but you can freely shoot your neighbor, a fully gestated human, who has stumbled onto your yard.

    link to the story?

    pozbo ,
    @pozbo@lemmy.world avatar

    Go ahead an reply to the kind folks who took their time to give you what you asked for.

    SpaceNoodle ,

    I’d give you an award, but we don’t do those here … uhhh … here’s some Lemmy Nickel

    sweetviolentblush , (edited )
    @sweetviolentblush@sh.itjust.works avatar
    sweetviolentblush , (edited )
    @sweetviolentblush@sh.itjust.works avatar
    dylanTheDeveloper ,
    @dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world avatar

    Alabama is full of gay sister touchers

    HornyOnMain ,
    @HornyOnMain@lemmy.ml avatar

    can you please not just be homophobic as like some epic own of the conservatives. Even if its supposed to be an ironic thing because conservatives would hate to be called gay, it just reads as normal homophobia.

    Aldrond ,

    Because it is normal homophobia. Blaming homophobia and abuse on gays is just a rehash of the same old bigotry, no matter stated intentions.

    feedum_sneedson ,

    Brain is just a nerve bag that makes decisions.

    I’m strictly pro foetus killing, in case that makes it seem otherwise. Just think that’s a poor rhetorical device.

    Boobs are just fat bags that milky milky. But they’ve got soul, baby.

    peterg75 ,
    @peterg75@lemmy.world avatar

    Brain is just a nerve bag that makes decisions.

    While this statement is true, what is also true is that the brain is the only organ we’re unable to fully understand, replace (as in through organ donation), and it’s what makes us sentient. This is why Row v. Wade had a specific fetal age up until which abortion is permitted. That age coincided with the age at which the brain is developed and the fetus becomes a child which could be delivered. Most of the red-state laws are restricting abortion after the heartbeat can be detected.

    All I am saying is that it makes perfect sense, from the biological point of view, why the heart is one of the first major organs to develop: it’s main job is to deliver nutrient-rich blood to all other organs so that they can develop as well. But despite that, its not the heart that makes us human, it’s the brain.

    Duranie ,

    I was raised around those good old traditional values like “do what you’re told” and “a woman’s value is caring for a family.” Once I started thinking for myself and asking questions, I still struggled with all the “but they’re killing living babies!” idea. Then one day it occurred to me - we don’t determine death by when the heart stops, why would we decide it starts just because we hear a beat? Brain death determines death, wouldn’t an appropriate level of brain activity determine life? I let go of a lot of baggage that day.

    Methylman ,

    Yet plenty of people with brains and hearts are subhuman pieces of filth

    Aldrond ,

    There is never a good reason to say ‘subhuman filth’. All of our problems are human problems.

    Including your apparent meth abuse.

    Methylman ,

    Methyl is CH3 groups - I did a graduate degree in biochem and feel proud of my achievement tyvm.

    Edit- ironically I chose not to be ethylman (without the first m) because I thought it made me sound like a proud alcoholic 🤣

    Aldrond ,

    So if you’re educated, consider giving the book “Becoming Evil” a problem.

    All of our problems are human problems, and talking about other human beings - no matter what they do - as “Subhuman” is a problem in and off itself.

    Methylman ,

    Always open to advice - Thanks

    raltoid ,

    Just look at the facts: These are the places where you have to preserve the life of a fetus just because you can hear a heartbeat

    Not even.

    Women have been forced to carry dead fetuses, which will kill them from sepsis as it starts to decompose.

    And the people who voted for it will deny it ever happening, until something similar happens to someone they know. Then they’ll cry on the street corners about how unfair it is.

    Remember: Scientific studies have shown that many conservatives are cold hearted and stupid, by demonstrating a clear correlation between conservative thinking/behaviour and lower than average cognitive ability and empathy. And literally every single one of them think they are a super genius and they think most people secretly share their political views.

    vox ,
    @vox@sopuli.xyz avatar

    btw isn’t conservatism supposed to be about “everything is perfect as it is right now, don’t make any changes”?

    ThatWeirdGuy1001 ,
    @ThatWeirdGuy1001@sh.itjust.works avatar

    It’s about maintaining the status quo. Keeping the rich rich and the poor poor because “hey it’s worked great so far!”

    Aldrond ,

    They say that, but they are liars. Liberals who typically want to conserve the standing social and economic order are the real conservatives.

    What the conservatives actually are is reactionaries.

    For the record, I’m not saying that because I’m a liberal, which I’m not. I don’t want to conserve the social or economic orders.

    LopensLeftArm , in Worry
    @LopensLeftArm@sh.itjust.works avatar

    Precisely how many people have been full on ready to drunkenly bang their daughter, and were persuaded not to by a billboard?

    sci ,

    They were persuaded to rape their date instead.

    BeigeAgenda ,
    @BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca avatar

    It probably helped prevent a single rape, but that was because they live directly in front of the sign and saw it illuminated by lightning a day they were drunk.

    Alivrah , in Worry

    Every time I see this sign I feel disgusted

    paddirn , in Types of siblings

    As a middle child, I too have not existed for my whole life.

    UltraMagnus0001 ,

    Be quiet and go in the basement. We’ll feed you through the cat hole

    WagnasT , in The fastest roomba

    lots of people have given an arm and a leg for one of these.

    0x4E4F , in Hey guys, would you watch my glass of milk plox? I'll be right back <3
    @0x4E4F@lemmy.fmhy.ml avatar
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