And also it was funnier because it wasn’t something people actually trust to give them the correct answer to something, but rather a sketch comedy radio show.
It checks out. They were closely related to John Dark Souls and John Sekiro who were known for their incredible movement abilities - especially the latter
One time I needed to get to the other side of a block and it was basically impossible to get there without making a traffic violation so I waited until no was was looking and make an illegal u-turn. The fbi still hasn’t caught up to me.
Sorry, but birds don’t really care about your sleep schedule. It’s not personal, we’re just irrelevant to them. This is especially true when compared to the drive to mate…
After you were gone, I sought solace in the endless void of space, but instead, I found something much grander. A hunger I’ve never know before, a true hunger that transcends space and time. A dark hunger that is more powerful than all the known forces of the universe.
They must be truly desperate, if they have brought you back. How long has it been? I’ve stopped counting the millenia that go by as fast as Monday mornings. Your efforts are admirable, but futile. Nothing can stop my hunger now, John.
Though I have to have admit, seeing you did bring back some memories from eons ago. So let me give you something, John. Something that you and other beings find so valuable, but it is abundant and meaningless for me now. Let me give you some more time.
Go back to your planet, and keep watching the night sky. As I’ll absorb the stars one by one, your nights will grow darker, but my hunger will only grow stronger. I promise you to leave your star for last.
And after the last light in the universe is gone, fear not, John. I might not be able to protect your primitive physical form, but I will preserve your mind, so we can always be together. You will be my eternal companion, floating together with me in the endless darkness, by my side onc our journey through the cold nothingness.
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