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lemmyshitpost

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PeterPoopshit , in I know Lemmy is about to take off because the porn is quickly moving from drawn henti and furry images to gonewild onlyfan contributors. I call it the QOTP Index (Quality Of The Porn). Reddit is done.

How do I even get porn? The app I’m using apparently hides all nsfw content and there isn’t an option to turn it off. What app should I use instead? Can I only do porn on the browser?

stratoscaster ,

You have to go into account settings and not app settings… Allegedly

Killer57 ,

lemmynsfw is it’s own federated branch.

maddin , in Just bang Hitler's mom

Eva: Adolf, why are you destroying everything? Adolf: My father is a time traveler from the future and he left me. So I make sure he will not exist. Eva: From the future? So he could also be our son? laughsAdolf: takes the gun

camelCaseGuy ,

That actually went full circle, 12 Monkeys style.

eleefece , in The real black market
@eleefece@lemmy.world avatar

100,000 for a gun in this economy!? For 100,000 tickets the best you can get is a knockoff minecraft sword

lemmy_nightmare ,
@lemmy_nightmare@sh.itjust.works avatar

Would it be diamond tier?

TheChancePants ,

Gold at best

pornhubfan , in I get bored online way easier now that I've cut out reddit

also the porn is just not the same

CYCLR ,

Your username suggests you already have a favorite platform for that

JadenSmith , in I heard that lemmy will upvote anything. This is literally just a can of fucking beans

This is not true. I upvoted because they are pictures of baked beans.

Nature has given you tasty food rich in fibre and protein, please be grateful to the bean.

TitanLaGrange ,

Hey! It took nature and generations of farmers and gardeners to create those beans!

GallantTheKnight , in The healing power of crystals

Have you tried eating any of those before posting this?

Checkmate

ickplant OP ,
@ickplant@lemmy.world avatar

It’s really hard to argue with superb logic and science like this.

Infinitenonblondes , in The healing power of crystals

You’re not throwing them at your enemies hard enough.

ickplant OP ,
@ickplant@lemmy.world avatar

The crystals, they do nothing!

renrenPDX , in The healing power of crystals

@ickplant That's completely wrong. Each rock/mineral has a hidden skill. Once acquired, you have less money.

slicedcheesegremlin ,
@slicedcheesegremlin@kbin.social avatar

Some crystals like torbernite and asbestos have a special skill too, called "radiation poisoning" and "lung cancer"

hawkwind , in We had a good run, thank you everyone
@hawkwind@lemmy.management avatar

Buy the dip!!!

helixdaunting ,

This is a highly regarded comment.

Holodeck_Moriarty , in Now quit your whining

Hurt by invisible rock air? Please.

RedditWanderer ,

Bro, I touch rocks all the time, and so does my friend Robert. This is nonsense

MagnusRobotFighter , in Survival of the Fittest

I dub things “dishwasher safe”

TheObserver ,

That’s me with the microwave. Did it melt? No? Ok it’s safe.

andrewrgross , in IYKYK

IDK

Mick_Endzy ,

It'll be in reference to Putin's press releases (?) where he was super-imposed onto a greenscreen background to look like everything was normal in the Kremlin.

In some of the videos/livestreams you could occasionally see for example his hand phase through something that should be in the foreground.

This pic will be a photoshopped joke about that.

(I'm not an expert in Russian affairs or memes)

ilikemoney , in cake for everyone!

No, no. We have BeansDay

MaxVoltage ,
@MaxVoltage@lemmy.world avatar

Heinz intensifies

AllonzeeLV , (edited ) in Do you see a problem?

He died how he lived, defending third world supply chains for the profit of the western oligarchs that consider poories like him subhuman livestock.

Thanks for defending your owner’s ego score quarterly growth/metastasis expectations with your insignificant little sucker peasant life, Billy! 🇺🇸💰🤑

MindSkipperBro12 ,

“You’re goddamn right.”

jiji , in Hard times
@jiji@lemmy.world avatar

I’m kinda surprised I’m seemingly in the minority of preferring self check. At least before they handicapped all the regular self checkouts and forced everyone to do self checkout. When it was truly optional, especially when it was “20 items of fewer” style, it was so much faster because I’m usually not buying a huge cart worth of items, and I can bag my own way. However now that Susan with her month’s worth of groceries for her family of 4 is also in self checkout, it makes it less efficient.

Dempf ,

Even when Susan is taking a huge cart through, a single queue for multiple service providers (self checkout) is always going to be theoretically more efficient than multiple queues - one per provider (one line for each cashier). The best of both worlds are places that have a single area to corral you into line, and a row of cashiers where you can go to the first available.

Rentlar ,

I once was that guy who took a cartful of groceries to the self-checkout. The goddamn thing had to call staff no less than 6 times because we couldn’t fit everything on that damn scale.

I’m not doing that again.

IDontHavePantsOn ,

Here’s the thing most people don’t understand. It’s possible to bag your shit elsewhere. You can scan your shit, put it back in the cart, and literally go anywhere else and bag it up. Everybody and their mother are taking the time to bag their shit at the checkout and holding everyone else hostage while they figure out where to put their bananas and lube. I routinely take a full cart of shit, scan it all with the handheld scanner, and I’m out the door before Nancy and her 10 shits. The whole point is that the POS is just there to pay for your shit. If everyone just took their shit to the giant area in front of every store, or to their car to bag their shit, no one would be holding anyone up besides the truly inept.

DarthBueller ,

Many grocery stores have scales in the self-checkout bagging area. If you scan a can of soup, you’re going to take that can, put it on the bag scale but not into a bag, scan your other items, put them onto the bag scale but not a bag, and then take all of your loose items and put them one by one into your cart? How is that efficient?

Aceticon , (edited )

That’s literally what you had to do in Germany in Lidl - even with a cashier there wasn’t even room enough to bag it there at the till and the whole thing was even shaped so that you could park your trolley in such a position that the cashier would directly put things into your trolley.

Not only that but everybody (including other customers) clearly expected you to operate within that system (for example, moving your trolley in a timelly fashion to the right “docking” spot to recieve the scanned products) and, if you paid with cash, get the change, free the area near the till and do the whole “store the change properly in your wallet” elsewhere were you weren’t wasting other people’s time.

You had an area you could go to and bag your stuff or you could take to trolley to your car and transfer the goods to the trunk there (in my case, this being Berlin, I had a bicycle with removeable cargo bags, so took the trolley there and then at home just unhooked the bags and carried them upstairs to my appartment).

I’ve never seen that anywhere else here in Europe, even in other Lidl stores (I’m now in Portugal and after Germany it’s all frustratingly slow and inneficient). I suppose a certain cultural mindset is probably required for people to naturally fit into such a system (were if everybody does their bit, everybody gets to pay and GTFO much faster).

Oh, and there were no self-checkouts there and the cashiers were amazingly fast, which makes all sense: self-checkout is really just using amateur and untrained - thus slow and inneficient - “cashiers”, so self-checkout tills would probably use more space and make the thing go slower.

DaCookeyMonsta ,

Not to mention Susan has no idea how computers or barcodes work.

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