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spujb ,

it happens in movies because it happens in real life too. when in crisis, often there is sense of loss of control or autonomy. for most, something that can provide an outlet for such a frustration is one’s appearance. and, while men do too, women broadly tend to have the more intimate relationship with their hair. so: haircut (or hair dye, or both).

dharmacurious ,

Can confirm the guy side of this. Have shaved my head in moments of crisis. Not something I consciously considered before doing it. Just felt… Idk, claustrophobic and needed to do something.

Also, when my mom was in the hospital last year, had I been able to get in with one, I would’ve had a tattoo by the time she got out.

Kyatto ,
@Kyatto@leminal.space avatar

I’ve done it before too, lowest point in my life, just grabbed some scissors and cut down my long hair :(

A little upsetting to see people calling it a trope, when it is a real reaction to trauma :/

Jesus_666 ,

Tropes can absolutely be based in reality. A trope is simply a commonly used stylistic device or convention in media. Sometimes it’s commonly used because reality just works that way. There nothing inherently cheap about it.

Cutting the hair short as a trope tells us that the character is in an extremely stressful or even traumatic situation and is trying to regain a sense of control. That’s a complex situation but can be told in seconds by relating to actual reality.

It’s not a trope in reality but it is one when used to convey a characters emotional state in a story.

Damage ,

As confirmed by the “Real Life” section on tvtropes pages

AVincentInSpace ,

And tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/…/TropesAreTools

sp3tr4l , (edited )

Also guy here, did this as well.

But uh, mainly because I literally cannot get to a haircut place. Been functionally hobbled for 6 months, car got stolen, don’t know anybody nearby with a car, no public transit, lyft or uber + a hair cut each month is actually pretty pricey when you are living on disability, waiting for public housing.

Been ordering delivery groceries for a while now, added a buzz trimmer to it this month.

At the rate my hair grows, it’ll be back to roughly the length I usually keep it at by the time my PT regimen gets me back into ‘normal’ shape (probably another 6 months).

So sure, I am in what most people would probably consider a crisis, but it makes practical sense too.

Either way, cutting your hair hair is literally a more healthy way to directly exert what little amount of control you have over yourself… but it is, at least in my experience, far more socially ostracizing than cutting yourself.

Not counting me cutting my own hair, I have know several people in my life who have done both or either of these.

When people cut themselves and this is noticable, people who care at all will be concerned and try to talk to them, suggest therapy. They receive more care and attention.

When someone takes all their hair off? They’ll be treated as if they are completely insane, should be avoided and are suspect, and/or are dangerous and should be institutionalized.

dharmacurious ,

Hitting the nail on the head in that last paragraph.

Also, I’m sorry. That’s a shitty situation. It’s wildly unl unlikely, but if you happen to be in east TN, I have a car and don’t mind taxi-ing a Lemming in need

sp3tr4l ,

Hah, I am nearly a thousand miles away, but I appreciate the sentiment.

Today is the day I try to find a printer to print off a bunch of docs for the public housing thing… unfortunately, as my wallet was also stolen (multiple times), my checking account is somehow not in my bank statements, so i get to hope they’ll accept a raw csv file hastily formatted in excel and printed off.

dharmacurious ,

I wish you luck with that. Public housing applications are the bane of my existence. I’ve been on the waiting list for so long that I couldn’t tell you how long anymore. I hope there are shorter wait times in your area. I’m not sure what your politics are, but if you’re at all lefty, it you hit up the local DSA (democratic socialists of America) there’s normally at least 1 or 2 people in it that run errands for folks and give em rides as part of a mutual aid network. Local anarchists groups are good for that, too. Episcopal churches also tend to have bus services (geezer wagons) in my experience.

sp3tr4l ,

I applied to the whole process some months ago, and my position on the list finally counted down to the point I was actually selected and could apply.

Likely the main reason it was only a few months wait time for me is twofold:

  1. I am legit disabled, receive SSDI.
  2. I moved several states away, partially to get away from all of the insane people that did a whole bunch of crimes to me, but also to an area with significantly lower rent than where I was originally.

That being said… I just today got two emails from Fedex, stating that two packages I either sent or ordered arrived… in April. It is July, and I have never lived in CA, nor ordered any packages or sent any there.

It sure is a lot of fun having your phone and wallet stolen every couple of weeks, half the time in muggings!

Maybe if I get an actual real address I can actually start the process of restoring an identity.

I will check around for those groups that you suggest, but I am in a rather Republican area now.

The mega irony of this whole scenario is that before all this insane shit happened to me, I was working at a non profit helping the homeless.

After I got royally fucked up and lost my job due to inability to use a keyboard (both of my hands were broken and I was a data analyst), they didn’t give a fuck to help a now homeless former employee.

Oh well, with any luck, I am fucking retired now lol.

TexasDrunk ,

I have full sleeve tattoos that started as piecemeal trauma tattoos. I get it.

dharmacurious ,

I’m still highly considering a tattoo, but now in a much more stable place, so my needle phobia is helping keep my canvas blank lol

imPastaSyndrome ,

I really don’t like needles, but I’ve found that I really just don’t like them

INSIDE MY BODY INSIIIIDE ME OUT OUT OUT

and I really enjoyed getting my tattoo other than the mild amounts of pain. I still love it.

dharmacurious ,

This has been my thought process when considering it. I’m hoping that when I get there that’ll be the case. I sew and have no problems with that, even if I get stuck, so I’m hoping once I’m there and in the chair it won’t be too bad. The next problem is that I am, to use the clinical term, a wimpy little wimpy wimp when it comes to pain, so I’ve got a couple hurdles to jump. Lol

imPastaSyndrome ,

Aaaah. Start small then. I was going to and got basically a 1/3 sleeve because it just fit and looked better like that

dharmacurious ,

Oh wow, that’s a bit ambitious. I just want a small 1 inch tattoo on my inner wrist. I’m working on a design right now, but I’m not sure how to proceed exactly, because I have basically no artistic talent and can’t draw to save my life. Lol

imPastaSyndrome ,

Yeah i really only intended something small and then… It just looked so good in the example…

Oh you don’t need to draw more than just an example and then tell them what you want with examples of colors and shit… of it’s a good tattoo shop they’ll take care of the rest. If they give you shit it’s not a good shop

dharmacurious ,

That’s good to know! I’ll start reaching out, I think

rickyrigatoni ,

Women fuck their hair?

2ugly2live ,
@2ugly2live@lemmy.world avatar

“Intimate” as in close, and personal/important, not… That.

rickyrigatoni ,

I think you are lying.

2ugly2live ,
@2ugly2live@lemmy.world avatar

Well, I’ve never met a hair fucker 🤣

Alk ,

Would you like to?

2ugly2live ,
@2ugly2live@lemmy.world avatar

While I respect people’s right to have good times with hair, I think I’m good with my current friend group.

Please be careful

unexposedhazard ,

Also hair is uncontrollable and gets everywhere if you let it. If you are already stressed, then you can literally get annoyed by your hair existing on your head doing its thing.

spujb ,

yes! i wanted to mention this, that hair can be a sensory overload problem too so cutting hair can just be a way to optimize sensory performance in a state of stress as well. but i forgot so thanks for the reminder!

Dearth ,

As a guy with audhd and long hair, when life gets extra tough, cutting all my hair off is simple way to remove extra self-care steps from my life. This allows me to focus on other more pressing tasks. And it’s completely reversible

morphballganon ,

Growing back takes time

Dearth ,

So does personal growth

CoffeeJunkie ,

Speaking as a man with no hair now – it’s very freeing. It is physically cool, it is less bullshit to deal with. No waking up & being like, ooo, gotta work with my fucking hair. Others are saying it’s autonomy & control, probably not wrong, but it’s also just plain smart. Practical.

Also a defensive strategy. If the hair is kept short, people can’t grab you by the hair & force your head around. Yank your head back & slit your throat.

Name the phenomenon… No hair don’t care. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Semi_Hemi_Demigod ,
@Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world avatar

I’m a dude who grew his hair out because it’s less work to deal with. Just pull it back and I’m good to go. When it’s short my hair is totally unruly.

Though when it starts thinning too much I’m going full Kratos.

CoffeeJunkie ,

Okay there you go, if it looks good by all means keep it going. Even if it looks bad, it’s your life, not mine…

Word to the wise, my male friends with ponytails have reported (same as women) don’t make that damn ponytail too tight!! Headaches. And it will strain your hair, cause excess thinning, damage. Again, so they say, no personal experience. Oh & if/when you embrace bald: handheld skull shavers are simply amazing. It’s great to have one around!

Semi_Hemi_Demigod ,
@Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world avatar

Yep, I switched from standard hair ties to scrunchies a few years ago since they put a lot less stress on the hair. Plus they’re colorful and fun.

niktemadur ,

laissez hair

Varyk ,

Trauma cut, a distancing from the identity that experienced trauma

DScratch ,

Good enough for Max Payne, good enough for me.

dejected_warp_core ,

I’m not a doctor or psychologist. I’m also aware that I’m replying to a greentext, but hear me out.

I think it’s simply “exercising agency and bodily autonomy.” Being able to modify one’s own body is a way to establish that you have the most basic form of control over yourself and your environment. It can help arrest the sensation of being out of control or under complete control of outside forces; an answer to feeling totally vulnerable. Cutting your hair off is an easy and quasi-socially-acceptable way to do this.

Were you not able to do this somehow, of your own volition, you’re probably in a very bad way and have much bigger problems to solve.

DumbAceDragon ,
@DumbAceDragon@sh.itjust.works avatar

Could also be that in a life or death scenario having your hair in the way of your sight isn’t beneficial

Draegur ,

i haven’t named it but always considered it “the sudden awareness that i do not want an easy to grasp handle on my head that someone could grab me by if i’m under attack”

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

Important Haircut

Etterra ,

Chopensation.

TunaCowboy ,

Chopium.

lath ,

Short or no hair means better ventilation, which speeds up neuron activation.

agamemnonymous ,
@agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works avatar

I’ve grown my my hair out and chopped it off several times. Maybe it’s some woo-woo psychic antenna thing, or maybe it’s the psychosomatic effect of the physical weight and inertia tugging on your scalp, but either way, each chop came with a feeling of emotional distance from the world. An almost immediate aloofness.

Feathercrown ,

Bro became a monk

JokeDeity ,

Not at all a woman only thing, and it’s even been portrayed in movies by men, for example the suicide attempt scene in The Royal Tannenbaums.

MindTraveller ,

Greg Universe also cut his hair off during a crisis situation.

JokeDeity ,

And that’s a person or a thing!

halfapage ,

deleted_by_author

    •
    dumbass ,
    @dumbass@leminal.space avatar

    Beards have terrible aerodynamics.

    Shard ,

    Gas masks don’t seal well around a beard either.

    paultimate14 ,

    As a guy with long hair I did this once.

    First breakup. We were both young and toxic to each other, and let the other be toxic.

    After some reflection I cut my hair for a variety of reasons.

    I’ve seen the studies and speculation that it’s a control thing, related to exercising bodily autonomy. Personally I don’t feel like this was part of my decision. This might be more of a gendered thing- I felt like growing my hair as a cis male in the first place was already exercising my bodily autonomy and defying society’s expectations around me. I was somewhat hesitant to cut it because it felt like giving up, conforming to what others wanted me to be.

    One was just that I was in college for business degrees- I always kind of knew my career would be better off with short hair anyways. Once I graduated, got a job, and got established at my company I grew my hair long again. It’s still long now, probably longer than it was originally.

    Another was that I wanted to be a different person. I looked back on who I was in that relationship and thought hard about who I wanted to become. While on a vacuum I preferred the long hair, and I objectively knew my hair could stay the same while my personality changed, on a subjective level I think yhe change helped. It was a visual boundary in time- when I go back and look at pictures of myself it’s very easy and obvious to see that change. It helped me to think about my long-haired self as the “old me”- younger, less experienced, more raw and flawed.

    Another was the emotional connection between her and my hair. While I liked the long hair and grew it before we had started dating, she really liked my long hair too. It hurt to have the same hair she used to run her fingers through swinging in front of my face. So in a sense, cutting my hair felt like cutting my connection to her.

    Finally, I also started growing my beard. I had always wanted facial hair, but she didn’t like it so I shaved. This seemed like a good opportunity to see what I could grow, but having long hair AND a beard seemed like a lot at the time. Now I have both of course.

    Taokan ,

    I always assumed there was some tradition to cutting your hair short before going to war, because long hair would present numerous liabilities - more maintenance, potential visibility issues, potential to foil cover/disguise, and potential vulnerability in hand to hand combat. And there is a lot of military tradition to a short haircut, though I’m not sure how much is based on the above reasoning. But I’m not a historian so maybe this is just a bad interpretation of Mulan or a random teacher passing on low quality education.

    davidgro ,

    I’ve been watching Battlestar Galactica (2004) and noticed a case of the opposite. It makes sense in context, but it’s an inversion of the trope. (And when things went back to normalish she cut it short again)

    CarbonatedPastaSauce , (edited )

    I thought that wasn’t a choice but instead because she wasn’t allowed sharp objects. A symbol of her being forced to do things she wouldn’t normally do. But maybe I’m misremembering. I do remember the dinner scene but it’s hard to cut your hair properly by yourself with scissors much less a steak knife.

    edit: I was incorrect, she had chosen to grow her hair out before that situation occurred. Time for a rewatch!

    davidgro ,

    Yeah, it was a result of the situation - like I said, makes sense in context. Just a counterexample that happened to be fresh in my mind

    Edit: Actually the long hair happened before the crisis Really started, when her location changed (I’m trying to avoid spoilers to some degree) so I do think it was initially a choice, but that does mean it only vaguely fits the trope until it was not a choice.

    CarbonatedPastaSauce ,

    You’re right, I forgot about the fact that her look had already changed at the start of that new arc! I really need to rewatch that show soon.

    Tar_alcaran ,

    It’s called “not getting scalped”

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