I wish there were more adults only places/days. I am autistic and children are very overstimulating. Plus I like doing childish things so.... Gimme a no child night at an arcade or mini golf or something and I would be there so fast
Agreed. God help you if you want to have a special date night at a mini golf place. Oh you wanted to have a romantic night? Sorry billy and Jimmy are going to just push you aside while they play. Their parents dropped them off and won’t be back for an hour
Now in my sixties and still CF. In my thirties the only real down side was the loss (largely) of friends who had chosen to have children so could now no longer come out to play.
Congratulations. I’m almost 20 years older than you and child free too. No regrets. Seeing what is happening in the world these days, especially climate change, I wonder why people would want to have kids and inflict whatever is coming on them.
Much better eras to have kids like the old west, medieval times, the dark ages, the Industrial Revolution when children worked at age 5, or even before agriculture was developed and literally every day was a crapshoot as to whether you would survive.
Why not just end the human race and sterilize everyone? I truly believe in and support peoples right to choose not to have children, but saying the world is a fucked up place is not a good reason. The world was a far more brutal and fucked up place compared to modern times. It’s not even really comparable. News headlines always make it seem like the world is in utter chaos but it really isn’t.
You haven’t attempted to explain your position, you just doubled down.
Your position comes across as “Yeah, it’s fucked up, but it’s been worse. Why not crank out some kids?” That’s, to me, an objectively shitty starting point.
I’m not going to pretend to understand any discomfort or suffering you went through. You and I do not share the same “parts,” so I have no basis for comparison. I will say that I’m sorry you experienced what you did, and I hope that you are either fully recovered or on the road to recovery.
I just wanted to reply to your statement that “when it comes down to it, sterilization is a procedure of bodily autonomy.” When I was in early adulthood, I didn’t want children, but it’s not something I thought much about. As I got older, the fact that I could potentially reproduce started to feel increasingly wrong and disturbing; it wasn’t the way that my body was supposed to be. It’s why I’ve always loved the fact that people use the term “fixed” as a replacement for “sterilized.” When I finally got my vasectomy, it was a relief. I was “fixed,” “repaired,” “corrected,” whatever you choose to call it. There were some complications, arguably minor ones, but it did require going under the knife again. I was happy to do so.
While I have no idea if your feelings align with my own, you decided to take your life into your own hands and get sterilized. When it’s all said and done, the end result will be that your body is closer to the way you want it than before. There might be setbacks, but eventually the end result will be what you want it to be. Just wanted to pass along a bit of hope from a random internet stranger.
To give you an actual resource: The Baby Decision by Merle Bombardieri. She's a social worker and therapist that specializes in this exact issue.
The book is fantastic. It guides you through thought exercises and different considerations about having kids. I want to stress that she does not try to convince you to have a kid. She just helps you make an informed decision.
When I got sterilized, the doctor asked me if I was in a committed relationship. Told him I was. Then he said that I need to treat this as permanent. Told him it wasn’t a problem. He pushed a little more but inevitable told him that if things changed and I ended up with a woman who wanted children, adoption was an option. That ended it for me, and I was able to get the procedure done. I don’t know if this is typical for men, but that was my experience.
I got a vasectomy when I was 31 and have never looked back. Would highly recommend it if you’re committed to being child free. Was a simple discussion with my (male) GP and after a few questions to make sure I understood the implications and that I had thought it through he gave me the referral.
I really feel bad for women - they have so much more stigma and a harder time with this in general, even in progressive countries.
The only reason I can think of, other than them just being a-holes, is that they’re used to all the crying and since nobody else comments on it, they’ll assume it’s not that big of a deal.
Even before having children, I've always had the unfortunate (for others) ability to tune out noise. I definitely don't assume my kids screaming is not a big deal, I literally don't realize it's even happening.
Fortunately, my wife doesn't have this issue, so she'll usually get me to intervene quickly enough that we (hopefully) aren't causing trouble for others.
Most people are brainwashed into thinking they need to provide for the meat grinder. I’m glad you did what made you happy rather than what was expected of you. Enjoy your peaceful relaxation with no burdens.
Interesting.Their website is a standard flight booking affair, and they definitely sell tickets for children. They literally have a photo of a happy family on holiday as the first image you see.
Its a european company, i will look up the article link one moment . Plane has a separate part of the cabin where it house seperate 93 seats where only adults beyond 16 of age are allowed access to, for the extra premium of 40€ per seat.
I'd gladly pay that price to not have to listen to a baby crying for 10 hours from Amsterdam back home. That was probably one of the worst flights I've been on.
Hate to break it to you, but making any friends in/past your 30s is very difficult. But I do get your point that choosing childless makes it even more difficult. I’m lucky enough to have had a couple of close friends who chose to remain childless before I had kids, and we are still close. But we would have remained close in any case.
I’m in my 50s now, and maybe I’m an asshole, but the last time I made a new friend (a real friend, not acquaintance) I was in my early 40s, and that friendship did not survive me moving an ocean away, to my great sadness. This happened with me several times starting in my early 30s, but I’ve moved continents three times, so mostly my fault.
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