I’m not going to pretend to understand any discomfort or suffering you went through. You and I do not share the same “parts,” so I have no basis for comparison. I will say that I’m sorry you experienced what you did, and I hope that you are either fully recovered or on the road to recovery.
I just wanted to reply to your statement that “when it comes down to it, sterilization is a procedure of bodily autonomy.” When I was in early adulthood, I didn’t want children, but it’s not something I thought much about. As I got older, the fact that I could potentially reproduce started to feel increasingly wrong and disturbing; it wasn’t the way that my body was supposed to be. It’s why I’ve always loved the fact that people use the term “fixed” as a replacement for “sterilized.” When I finally got my vasectomy, it was a relief. I was “fixed,” “repaired,” “corrected,” whatever you choose to call it. There were some complications, arguably minor ones, but it did require going under the knife again. I was happy to do so.
While I have no idea if your feelings align with my own, you decided to take your life into your own hands and get sterilized. When it’s all said and done, the end result will be that your body is closer to the way you want it than before. There might be setbacks, but eventually the end result will be what you want it to be. Just wanted to pass along a bit of hope from a random internet stranger.