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Extra grateful to be childfree

I’m feeling especially happy to be childfree and wanted to share. I have off from work and am spending the week home with my husband and dogs. The house is so peaceful. I’m getting in hours and hours of digital painting practice. I can’t fathom why anyone would voluntarily choose to care for a kid for 18yrs, rather than have that time for relaxation and to pursue interests/hobbies. Working fulltime already makes me feel like I don’t get enough time to simply enjoy life.

askat ,
@askat@programming.dev avatar

Social conditioning plays big role. Of course there are people who genuinely want become parents. But majority of people think that having a child is an inevitable stage in human life. Because of social pressure most people don’t realize that parenthood is a choice. That you can freely say NO to having a baby and nothing will happen. Life will go on, the God won’t punish you, skies won’t fall on your head.

rebul ,

I'm glad you don't have kids too.

I love my kids, my life is infinitely better because of them.

tox_solid ,
@tox_solid@lemmy.world avatar

There’s nothing I’d rather do with my free time than spend it with my kids.

settoloki ,

Do you post about other stuff you don’t have or is it just children? Like do you post in different gaming consoles communities to say you don’t have that console.

I’m not arguing with the fact you don’t have children, I’m all for it, in fact. You should live life the way you want as long as it doesn’t harm others mentally or physically.

But an entire community dedicated to not having something screams that you’re not ok with this that it needs to be spoken about to be reassured, that it takes up more of your brain than not having other things would take up.

I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t understand the reason this community exists?

quacker ,

Why do you go into other communities to complain about someone’s posts? An entire condescending post dedicated to complaining about something that has zero effect on your life - why bother? You could just ignore it, or even downvote it, and then just move on.

Having or not having children is a significant life decision. Maybe people want to talk about it? That’s why this community exists.

Poob ,

It exists because people are constantly flooded by a torrent of pressure to have children by society, and this is a place for a little catharsis and relief. Relief that there are a small number of people that won’t pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do. It’s a place for like-minded people to blow off steam.

I don’t personally come to this or similar communities, even though I don’t plan on having kids. I understand why it exists though.

radau ,

For one, there’s a “community” that goes nuts over you not having something and will interject every time they get a chance even when unprompted and continuously question your decision and try to sway you another way.

Having a place to go to vent or talk is pretty nice when you have to deal with those individuals especially when many are surrounded by them and are made to feel “not normal” for it.

There’s a community for everything, it’s kind of the point of the internet, to be able to connect with like minded individuals.

edent ,
@edent@lemmy.one avatar

Why do communities exist for - to pick an example - atheists? In lots of parts of the world, there is huge social pressure to conform to a specific religion. If you decide not to, or leave the religion, or have questions, it can be a terrifying and lonely experience.

It’s the same here. Lots of us feel huge pressure from family, friends, co-workers, and society to do something that we don’t want to do. So it is nice to have a community where we can discuss that and reassure each other. Because it is difficult to do what is right when everyone is telling you you’re wrong.

settoloki ,

Must admit, I didn’t see it from this angle. Perhaps because of my personal experience in life and the few people in my social circle have never been pressured into having kids, it’s just not really been a thing in my 40 odd years on the planet. Perhaps cultural differences etc, either way adjusting my view point to be that of people constantly being pressured to have kids when they don’t want kids/can’t have kids allows me to understand the community’s existence.

Lauchs , (edited )

I wonder if some people just don’t really have hobbies or interests they find fulfilling. If my life were work, binge a series, sleep, I think I’d be much less opposed to having children. (I still have my moral issues etc but just in terms of not having that time to relax/pursue interests.)

Edit: The more I think about this, the more I can think of examples in my own life. The folks who habe hobbies that are mostly around screentime (gaming, movies, shows) are much more enthusiastic about kids whereas most of my friends who are my outdoorsy, into sports or other active hobbies are much more reluctant. Obviously there are exceptions but as a general trend it seems to hold.

pug_grumbles OP ,

I wondered the same. Maybe you are onto something there.

XTL ,

Self actualisation is a thing a lot of people can’t face. Many seem to outsource that to their children and living through them, not even realising that’s someone else’s life and they’re avoiding their own.

en.wikipedia.org/…/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs

Vaggumon ,
@Vaggumon@lemmy.world avatar

Most people are brainwashed into thinking they need to provide for the meat grinder. I’m glad you did what made you happy rather than what was expected of you. Enjoy your peaceful relaxation with no burdens.

pug_grumbles OP ,

Thank you. Me too :). I had a bisalp this year, so my childfree decision is solidified. Couldn’t be happier about that!

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