It's exactly that. Some people literally get off - as in they get sexually excited and then jerk off - by upsetting other people. I mean, I don't think they do it because it's something that turns them off. They want a quick easy fix, and saying offensive shit takes little effort. All it requires is the ability to type with one hand.
anyway it's a mixed bag. on one hand I understand the business sees an opportunity to make more money, and people with kids do still need haircuts, but it does also suck ass to have your moment of peace taken away
I wish childcare was taken more seriously, maybe people would run errands without bringing their screaming children
See, it’s annoying, but at least these are people who genuinely wanted kids and who take good care of them. It’s especially nice to see dads fangirl over their kids, because historically it’s been acceptable for dads to take a back seat. I get much more annoyed when I see people who can’t pay their bills as it is and think now is a GREAT time to have another kid, or when a woman is pregnant with her fourth kid from fourth baby daddy and the first three have already been left to fend for themselves. Loved and wanted and responsibly produced kids aren’t a hill I’m looking to die on.
There are better and worse ways to tell someone that they’re annoying. You know them better than we do and can better predict how they’ll respond, but saying something along the lines of “hey it seems like you’ve been really busy with your kids, totally fine, let me know when you have time to catch up” would work in a lot of cases. There’s nothing wrong with telling people that you have a life outside of childcare. Of course, it’s possible that you might grow apart, but that’s OK if you’re comfortable with it - you’re not stuck in your existing social circle. Take this opportunity to go out and meet new people.
I once described my perfect morning to a colleague, in much the same way you describe your Sunday morning. He started laughing and said that will be gone with kids. I told him that was one of the many reason I did not want kids, and he looked genuinely perplexed that was even a possibility. His main reason for wanting kids (at least what I could come up with at the time) was the joyous thought of being able to teach someone a lot of cool stuff. The fact that he could achieve that without kids (i.e. volunteering teaching kids programming, electronics or whatever) didn’t seem to have dawned on him either. I haven’t spoken with him for some time, and I imagine he has gotten a kid with his wife by now. I hope for his sake that the kid(s) will be interested in what he has to teach, because if he did not have any other reasons for wanting them, he’s in for a disappointing couple of decades…
By the way, I’m sad this community is not more active. Are there any similar communities on Lemmy dedicated to a childfree lifestyle that goes under some name I don’t know?
The sleep deprivation is way more of an issue than poop. My 9 year old woke me up at 3 in the morning, because she had a nightmare this was after the two year old decided she could only sleep in daddy’s bed and before the 4 year old peed in her bed at 5am. I tolerate it because I actually want kids, but it is a lot of work.
You also have to consider any special needs/ behavioural problems that you or your partner had as a child, because a lot of those are hereditary. Not to mention they will get sick from all the childhood diseases and they’re not good about holding their vomit til they get to the bathroom. I have been puked on several times.
Then there’s the financial problems. If you’re tall your kid will blow through clothing really quick. My eldest is currently wearing adult XS clothes. They don’t eat much, but you’ll end up not being very adventurous in the kitchen because kids don’t eat nice food. If you are in the states daycare is pretty pricey. I know of at least one postdoc who quit her academic career because her entire paycheck wasn’t enough to cover the cost of daycare. If you live up north, winter clothing is really expensive. In Norway, a set of wool underwear will cost over 40 USD and you’re talking about the same for a cheap set of winter boots and about 100 USD for a snowsuit. These need to be replaced often.
All of this is worth it if you want kids. But you need to talk to your partner. If you don’t agree on weather or not you want children then you need to end things, because either way one of you will grow to resent the other. I’ve seen it happen many times either you are forced to give up your life for 18 years or he’s forced to give up on starting a family. Neither of those things are fair. I could give you articles but they’re all basically people’s opinions anyway. And the decision needs to be based on what you want for your life, not what someone else thinks.
That’s terrible advice. A C-section is a major abdominal surgery, where you can’t do much after, and for weeks. (This includes a carry limit of less than baby plus car seat)
Truly, if birthing is a problem, adopt. But if children are the problem, then maybe it’s not for you.
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