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victorz ,

Do your work for you, you say?

Or is this a hobby project?

christian OP ,
@christian@lemmy.ml avatar

Do your work for you, you say?

That reminds me, tomorrow I will need everyone here to proofread the latest revision of my screenplay for the “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt” horror movie.

victorz ,

🙂‍↔️

teawrecks ,

A walkie talkie that he can’t find any batteries for.

LouNeko ,

Oh wow look at what the tides have swept ashore. A Pringles can, some rubber gloves and a few sponges.

HootinNHollerin ,

Couch

jewbacca117 ,

Starring JD Vance

ShaggySnacks ,

A coconut. Those who know, will know. Those who don’t, may their innocence last forever.

xilliah ,
Zachariah ,
@Zachariah@lemmy.world avatar

couch cushion

christian OP ,
@christian@lemmy.ml avatar

This is inexplicably the best answer yet. Everyone else is working so hard to think outside the box that the box is inside-out.

Zachariah ,
@Zachariah@lemmy.world avatar

Plus, now you can include a love scene.

christian OP ,
@christian@lemmy.ml avatar

I have absolutely zero interest in making this movie political.

Zachariah ,
@Zachariah@lemmy.world avatar

Then I’d go with airplane seat cushion instead.

christian OP ,
@christian@lemmy.ml avatar

The couch cushion works fine. Couch cushions appear in real-life situations all the time and simply having one in the movie cannot be construed as making a statement on the kind of conduct that we as a nation are willing to accept from our vice-presidential candidates.

Num10ck ,

a super valuable in-the-original packaging giant boba fett action figure, he’s tormented by keeping it mint in case he ever gets back, somehow the rocket launcher ends up saving his life.

Mammothmothman ,

A mannequin

Kacarott ,

A pot plant which he might try take care of for a while before realising it’s plastic, but has already grown attached to it.

MossyFeathers ,

The severed head of a man named Wilson.

DrSleepless ,

Oooh, the dead body of Owen Wilson.

Viking_Hippie ,

Or the frustratingly unkillable body of Wade Wilson (Deadpool)

swab148 ,
@swab148@lemm.ee avatar

HEADPOOL!

mostNONheinous ,

A furby or tickle me Elmo.

onlooker ,
@onlooker@lemmy.ml avatar
InputZero ,

Some piece of very modern technology that floats. I think Wilson in the movie represents Hank’s character’s last grasp at a shred of civilization, so he holds onto it as hard as he can. My first idea was an e-ink tablet with an author’s face on it, but that’s a little too on the nose. Maybe it should be something that reflects how much more reliant we are on our modern conveniences than we were during the original.

Edit: Raycon earbuds. He calls them Ray and if you’re lucky that might also bring in some sponsorship money

BeatTakeshi ,
@BeatTakeshi@lemmy.world avatar

A toaster. Toasters are friends

Flyberius ,
@Flyberius@hexbear.net avatar

A helicopter

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