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BEWARE ,

Get laid ASAP with the girl you like of course and consensually. Because later in your 30s you’ll be stuck in virginity limbo without escape. Don’t believe that bullshit of “love will come”.

bad_alloc ,

When faced with seemingly equivalent choices, pick the once that maximizes your future options.

intensely_human ,

Oof no, this is bad advice. I followed this advice and it’s resulted in me having no career to speak of.

In order to have a good life, one needs to sacrifice option A to commit to B, or vice-versa.

Trying to maximize future options is a recipe for regret.

0ops ,

Edit: I misread the comment chain. I’ll just leave mine though

Always picking the most rewarding next step is called a greedy algorithm, so mathematically it might be good but not usually optimal because you might be sacrificing long-term success for short-term gains. Somet

bad_alloc ,

How do you know which option to pick though, if both seem equivalent in the moment?

___ ,

Not always good advice.

An exclusive relationship, by definition, minimizes your future options but opens up a subset which are better for many/most people.

Two2Tango ,

Stop drinking, you’ll save so much money and get ripped with barely any effort 💪💪

Swallowtail ,

Or at least don’t waste it all drinking… I spent so much of my early 20s drinking and playing video games with my friends. While I made some great memories, it was excessive and I could have done a lot more with my time.

FireWire400 ,
@FireWire400@lemmy.world avatar

Don’t listen to those idiots who try to tell you that it all goes downhill once you’re 25. Just because you’re halfway to being 30 doesn’t mean your life is over.

I’m almost 27 and have never been happier.

ByteOnBikes ,

I spent my 20-25 almost homeless and working dead end jobs. I used to dumpster dive for food. I spent my late 20s working on myself (and cut out everybody who wasn’t interested in changing).

And In my 30s, my life is so much better.

brygphilomena ,

If you are still in school, unless you are trying to get into a post graduate school, like law school or med school. Your grades are the least interesting thing about you. Cs get degrees.

Once you’re in the world. People care about experience and personality more than straight A’s or the deans list.

brygphilomena ,

Almost no one knows how to do the job they are hired for. You’ll have a trainer at almost every job. Apply for things you don’t think you are qualified for. Most people figure it out as they go.

xilliah ,

Understand how sun cream factors work and always wear it.

Get one good cooking knife and learn how to hone and sharpen it. You have to sharpen it often and almost immediately. Learn how to cut vegetables. Start with onions because they are cheap and versatile.

Keep a freewriting journal.

If you’re a guy take a moment to look into what women go through in their lives with guys. It’s not complicated or mysterious, it’s just that a significant portion of guys never heard about it. It’ll automatically make you a better man and you’ll have a better time too :)

Shimitar ,

Do not marry the first girl you fuck (or the first boy, either way, mixed ways too, anytype anyway).

Go live with him/her, share an apartment (do not buy together) for months, live together for some time.

Possibly, break up and meet more people, rinse and repeat until you understand:

  • what you WANT in the other person
  • what you EXPECT from the other person

And more important even, learn to understand the other person for what he/she is and not what you think he/she is.

SendMePhotos ,

My old boss once told me: “when you think you want to marry them… First live with them two years… And when you’re sure… Wait two more years.”

Smoogs ,

Until they leave you and find someone else who is ready to commit.

Sometimes if you expect the worst; you make the worst. Get out of your own way.

SamuraiBeandog ,
@SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world avatar

If you’re in a good relationship but they leave because they couldn’t wait 4 years to get married, then you fucking dodged a bullet. Jesus fucking christ.

Smoogs ,

Someone willing to put up with your shit and commit to you is a bullet to be dodged? Mmmk…

SamuraiBeandog ,
@SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world avatar

I was with my wife for 10 years before I proposed. We have the best relationship of anyone we know. I know plenty of people who married after a couple of years and are fucking miserable.

Smoogs ,

So you only count anecdotal evidence that ensures your paranoia about people and apply it to every situation. K.

SamuraiBeandog ,
@SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world avatar

Paranoia wtf? I’ve formed my opinions from my life experiences, are you trying to tell me you’ve done peer reviewed research to decide what makes a good relationship?

Smoogs ,

Well you certainly don’t that applies for everyone. And for all I know you, you could be super negative, project the worst scenarios only and/or you could be the problem in all your relationships and this is the excuse you landed on for maintaining a delusion.

You could be lying about having a wife just so you can ‘win’ an argument online with a total stranger online.

Not a far reach considering your response here.

SamuraiBeandog ,
@SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world avatar

lol do you always assume anyone who disagrees with you is acting in bad faith? Whst a convenient way to shield yourself from uncomfortable truths.

No wonder you’re desperate to lock someone into a relationship with you asap, you sound nuts.

Smoogs ,

Ditto. As far as bad faith; i nailed you.

SamuraiBeandog ,
@SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world avatar

lol you’re the one who came in swinging with “for all I know!” “you could be lying!” as soon as I pressed you on a point. That’s the definition of a bad faith argument, you’re not acctually trying to engage with points of discussion you’re just trying to “win” the conversation.

cheers_queers ,

why do you see marriage as the only acceptable form of commitment? just curious. in my opinion it takes more commitment to stay without legal ties involved.

Smoogs ,

You talk about commitment but OP didn’t.

___ ,

Meh, sometimes you just know after seeing who’s out there. I wouldn’t recommend breaking off something good and risking not getting it back because of your insecurities.

Shimitar ,

Indeed, in fact, as soon as the above questions are satisfied, that’s when you stop.

Smoogs , (edited )

-Life is too short for bad coffee, bad wine, bad shoes and bad people.

-spend the required money in a good bed and a good chair. When it comes down to it later, it is not negotiable for your back.

-you will have to have a lawyer involved sometimes such as drafting up a will. It’s worth it. Also: do your will and sort out your stuff even if you haven’t been diagnosed with a terminal illness.

-clean like you’re moving house once a year. Cut down on the hoarding.

-‘no’ Is a complete sentence.

-sometimes acceptance of a situation is what it is is the only closure you’re ever going to get.

-acknowledge your stuff <—//—> other people’s stuff. Others might not work on their own stuff but they aren’t your job.

-resentment isn’t always something someone gives you nor is it the reality of the situation. Sometimes a person invites it along. Eg: assuming such things as someone being late to dinner is a personalized slight to your energy and time.

-try not to confuse misunderstanding with malice.

-remember the good ones. It’s so easy to just count the nasty people in your life and have them as your comparison for things. Spending your energy this way overlooks all the good people in your life and that’s not fair to them and the effort they put in with you.

some_guy ,

No one has life figured out. Everyone has the same insecurities, fears, and doubts. Everyone is pretending to know what they’re doing at least part of the time.

yogthos ,
@yogthos@lemmy.ml avatar

Find a topic that you have interest in and master it. This will only get harder as you get older.

d00phy ,

I have two that I always say:

Take care of your teeth. They’re the only set you get. Also they don’t tell you this when you’re young, but all dental care is either preventative or reactionary. They can’t actually “fix” problems. If you have a cavity, that starts you down a road that ends with a crown or implant. Use any dental insurance you have religiously, pay for a good toothbrush (Oral-B or SoniCare), learn to floss properly and do it all every single day.

Second, save now as much as you are able. If you can adhere to it, look into the 50-30-20 rule. One thing it took me too long to learn is, given an otherwise living income, you won’t miss money you don’t see. When savings is automatically deposited from your paycheck, it’s out of sight and mind.

Lastly, just be yourself, and be a good person to those around you.

Valmond ,

Good toothbrush advice (but don’t floss with a string, use those small brushes instead, doesn’t budge the teeth if you have to force the string through).

But for spending? If you have loads of wealth, then why not, but I blew about all my cash I had when I was young, going on trips, partying, eating with people, buying hobby things, checking stuff out…

I don’t regret that a second. I even think most old people would think it priceless just to go back in time and fool around a week as a 20 year old, but it’s too late now for them.

So live right now is my recommendation I guess, without doing too stupid things obviously.

Cheers.

dditty ,

What do you mean by not budging the teeth while flossing? Some of my teeth are pretty tight and I do use force to get the string floss to break through, is that bad?

Valmond ,

Thats what my dentist says yes, I use something like this (but longer and with an angle):

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/34a16357-7752-410d-9caf-f643a4f89371.jpeg

d00phy ,

Not saying to not have fun while you’re young. By all means, go for it. Just pointing out that a small amount of savings when you’re young pays off much more over time. If you wait, you’ll spend your later years catching up!

Valmond ,

Well I sure can put away way more money today than when I was young. Depends I guess 🤷

z00s ,

Don’t worry too much if you fuck up. You have more than enough time to fix just about any mistake. You’re still young, it’s OK.

jimmy90 ,

learn as much as you can, don’t worry too much about what it is you learn

you’ll find what you’re good at or fascinated by

RecallMadness ,

Go do a trade. Computers are dumb.

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