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What would you do if a scraggly homeless person knocked on your door, and all he asked was for a sandwich, a bottle of water, a bath, and perhaps a beard trim?

I’ve actually skipped work just to help a homeless guy get his beard trimmed. Bought him pizza too. Kinda hard to get anywhere in life when you look like shit.

Be kind to the homeless, they just need a helping hand here and there.

What would you do?

Vanth , (edited )
@Vanth@reddthat.com avatar

deleted_by_author

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    fine_sandy_bottom ,

    100% this.

    I was a volunteer treasurer at a youth homeless shelter.

    Sadly, it’s not possible to evaluate someone’s intentions when they knock on your door and ask for a sandwich. They might truly just want a sandwich, or they might have other intentions entirely.

    over_clox OP ,

    It’s not typically the person that knocks that you gotta worry about, it’s the person that doesn’t knock that you really gotta worry about.

    ColeSloth ,

    That’s not very true, unfortunately. Knocking allows someone to somewhat figure out if anyone is home, allows a person to gauge who is home (a man or a woman) and how easily the knocker can gauge overtaking them. Breaking in means the homeowner may have time to get a weapon and means the knocker will have to search for anyone home.

    Getting them to come up to the door and see if they’re armed makes it easy if a person is looking for a victim. People just breaking in are usually hoping no one is home and just wants to rob the place.

    over_clox OP ,

    I guess it partly depends how far out in the woods you live. The dogs will announce an intruder before they even get 100 feet close to your home, and I had my cats trained to knock on the door knocker, when they weren’t out eating rats anyways…

    Vanth , (edited )
    @Vanth@reddthat.com avatar

    deleted_by_author

    •
    over_clox OP ,

    You should never assume any stranger is safe. But take each person’s situation separately, some struggling people are actually legitimately honest.

    Vanth , (edited )
    @Vanth@reddthat.com avatar

    deleted_by_author

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    over_clox OP ,

    Honestly, the fella I helped didn’t even knock on my door, I knocked on his ‘door’, while he was resting at a local bus stop.

    I had already known the fella for a few months in passing on my bicycle rides. I realized he was a good decent honest person, but he needed a haircut and beard trim.

    Well, I happened to have trimmers, and figured that was the least I could do to try to help him out. That, and a pizza and a beer, just because…

    Edit: Yes, I went out of my way to help this particular fella, he didn’t actually knock on my door. But, what if it was 120⁰F outside, and some stranger knocked on your door asking for help?..

    over_clox OP ,

    Our local cities have been shutting down homeless assistance and food banks. Even the churches aren’t allowed to help anymore… ☹️😭

    Redredme ,

    Hell no.

    Are you u all living in rosy mc Rosewood Santa’s little safe harbour everything is fine and dandy rainbow world? Or are you all lying through your teeth?

    Letting someone in your home with clearly visible psychological issues, in your circle of trust, filled with those you hold most dearly and packed with your dearest memories, that place… And then letting someone in you know nothing about?

    Hell fucking no.

    In the real world letting some rando homeless dude in your home has a 50/50 chance of ending up in crazy town. There is a high probability that you, yours or your stuff get fucked up. I cannot and will not accept those odds. Even a 2% chance of shit happening is a risk I’m unwilling to take when it comes to my kids.

    Would I help him? Maybe. It depends on some factors (like can I at that specific time, did I help him out earlier, do I have cash on hand) Would I let him in? No f-ing way.

    So real answer: money: maybe, eat & drink: anytime. Clothes: I’ve got some you can have, no problem. Bath and clean: nope. Never.

    M500 ,

    This is my thought as well. Even if things go well this time, who’s to say they will not feel entitled to come back. Maybe with or without your knowledge.

    I’d send them away otherwise I might start getting a regular visitor to my house asking for stuff.

    In public, I’m happy to give money or food.

    EABOD25 , (edited )

    While I do agree with you. Your wording could be a little bit better. You seem like a glass half empty kind of person, and I can respect that. However your statement makes it seem like all homeless people have some kind of dangerous psychological issues, and that is a wild accusation. Mental health problems come in all shapes and sizes

    Haui ,
    @Haui@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

    As someone with diagnosed mental health issues, I can tell you that I mean no harm. But sadly, the pure difference in perception paired with unfamiliarity of the two parties makes the situation insanely dangerous, not the person.

    You never know why the person is in this predicament and if they have a tendency towards violence, robbery or other things. I‘m not saying they are. I‘m saying you have to assume they are before making that decision. Can you defend yourself against a pulled knife or even gun, do you have enough mental capacity to observe them at all times. Those odds do not look good.

    So, although I would never willingly look down on folks less fortunate than myself. I too will never ever let a stranger into my house if they raise any concerns.

    EABOD25 ,

    Very better wording. Sorry if I was seeming like a dick. I’ve always had the view that people generally mean no harm, but might have articulated it in the wrong way. I’m definitely trying to work on that with myself as well. I also have mental health issues, and I was homeless for a good 2 years of my life, and would have been longer if a person didn’t invite a scruffy person into their home and show them goodness and ask for nothing in return.

    After I typed that, I had to think about it for a bit. I was probably one of the few lucky ones. I’ve had the experience working in movie theaters, and I’ve encountered many homeless and have had good and bad experiences. The bad is more memorable (which probably says more about human nature rather than social conception at this point), but had many great experiences with homeless people. I have stories, but I’ll save them for the sake of typing a shit ton lol.

    TL;DR: I like the cut of your jib, you seem very intelligent, and have good points. However, I still believe the whole argument comes down to pessimis vs optimism. I’m a very long winded person, so tldr are hard for me

    over_clox OP ,

    “if they raise any concerns”

    Yes indeed, those words sum it up pretty well. Everybody is different. Every situation is different.

    Everyone deserves a chance though, with caution of course…

    Ledivin ,

    However your statement makes it seem like all homeless people have some kind of dangerous psychological issues, and that is a wild accusation.

    He never said anything like this, and specifically called out pretty low probabilities throughout his comment.

    EABOD25 ,

    I hate linking comments. Sorry, but it took me a bit to type all of that up. So I beg your pardon

    lemm.ee/comment/13208280

    over_clox OP ,

    Thank you for your opinion, every individual is different. Homeless does not inherently equate to psychological issues nor drug addiction.

    Sometimes people just had their house destroyed from a hurricane or tornado or whatever, and insurance done fucked them over, if they even had proper insurance in the first place.

    Sorry you’re getting downvoted, but you got my upvote. Thank you for having enough of a mind and soul to care. 🤗👍

    CorruptedArk ,

    I subscribe to a policy of cautious altruism, like a lot of folks already said. I need to keep myself and my family safe so probably not allow in the house, but I’d give food water, the hose, soap, shampoo, clean towel, and a change of clothes if I can. Maybe even some cash if I have it around to spare.

    If I have a shed or garage I’d allow them to use it to change clothes privately and offer to wash their clothes if safe. They may have residue of drugs like meth on their clothes that I’m unable handle.

    I’ve also got a decent amount of privilege to share.

    Be kind, be safe

    over_clox OP ,

    Be kind, be safe, and love thy fellow person. 👍

    CorruptedArk ,

    I’ve quite a few friends I’ve personally pulled out of homelessness, so I’ve seen how hard it is firsthand, I hope things are better for you

    over_clox OP ,

    Things actually are better for me these days. Not great, but much better. I’m living in a decent affordable apartment now, rather than the old run down trailer park I came from.

    Thank you for your kind words. 👍

    I’ve had people occasionally help me along the way, and at my discretion, I’m glad to help others in return when possible. Pass it forward…

    CorruptedArk ,

    Also, for anyone reading through this thinking, “I shouldn’t give them money because drugs”

    I use drugs to cope with chronic pain so I can get through a workday

    I’m skilled labor and make a decent salary

    The only things separating me from a homeless person were some “fortunate” family deaths providing enough inheritance to put me through college at a good time and some lucky networking

    We should all be more humble and less judgemental of eachother’s choices

    over_clox OP ,

    I’m not exactly sure how to interpret all this, except I think you have a decent trustworthy soul, and care about others.

    CorruptedArk ,

    Yeah, I try to every day

    Some days are harder than others, I ain’t perfect, I’ve caused probably as much harm as good, but I try my best

    over_clox OP ,

    I think you need a digital hug 🤗

    overcast5348 ,

    “I shouldn’t give them money because drugs”

    I have a roof over my head, eat thrice a day, and have a loving family. Yet there are days when I want to drown myself in alcohol or weed. Who am I to judge a homeless person if they choose to do drugs and forget their suffering for a little while?

    I always give money, if anything, to the few of them in my neighborhood. Whether it’s food , clothes, drugs or something else - they know what they need better than I know it.

    Themadbeagle ,

    Had a dude come around in my neighborhood a few times. It was the middle of the summer and it can get above 100 where I live. Gave him pbj and some water because if was all I had at the time. He only asked for food and water. Haven’t seen him in a year now though.

    BCsven ,

    My mind initially skipped the p in pbj and it altered the story significantly

    over_clox OP , (edited )

    I hope the fella is doing okay these days. Thank you on his/her behalf for helping them in a brief time of need. Even if that’s all you could do, at least it’s something.

    People like you help me restore a few points in faith in humanity. 👍

    SeattleRain ,

    I’d close the door on him then call the police. Y’all can virtue signal all you want but these homeless people can have mental illnesses and be dangerous.

    over_clox OP ,

    The police can be mental and dangerous themselves, what’s ya point?

    SeattleRain ,

    I’m not in danger. And sometimes cities like mine have special homeless units that aren’t cops.

    todd_bonzalez ,
    @todd_bonzalez@lemm.ee avatar

    I’m trying to imagine, as someone who also lives in Seattle, how fucking terrified you must be if you feel compelled to call the cops on every homeless person you see.

    They know your by name down at the station don’t they, lmao.

    ACAB includes the weirdo neighborhood watch guy.

    CanadaPlus ,

    Yeah, this one is over the top.

    over_clox OP ,

    My late father would employ homeless people to rebuild wrecked motor homes. And amazingly enough, this tactic tended to work fairly well.

    They weren’t allowed inside our house, except certain hours of the day in the evening. They were even welcome to drink some beer with us and shoot the shit during the later evening hours, just as long as they kept up work on the wrecked motorhome, which is where they slept.

    I think they lived there while repairing it for like 6 months, and they were generally honest and legit. Never once stole a thing, they were just glad to have a place to stay during that time.

    todd_bonzalez ,
    @todd_bonzalez@lemm.ee avatar

    It’s one thing to ask him to leave and close the door. But call the police? You need to touch some fucking grass. If anything you’d deserve a charge of filling a false police report for calling the cops because a guy asked you for a sandwich.

    At least you aren’t afraid to tell everyone what a miserable snitch you are. Anyone I knew IRL said something this deranged and they’d be on the class traitor list for life.

    RBWells ,

    We bring food sometimes to the local homeless guy but he doesn’t seem to want anything else.

    This answer for me would really depend on a lot of factors. I don’t want a homeless roommate who won’t leave and can’t work, don’t want a mentally unstable person in the house with my daughters. So random guy probably not. I’d bring him food and a gallon of iced water and say I could not let him in. If it was the guy we know from under the bridge, and husband home, probably would let him shower and give him some of husband’s clothes to wear, sure.

    But we HAVE had homeless people stay with us for a time if we knew them, quite a few times. Wandering guys who just didn’t live anywhere. Couch surfing people.

    over_clox OP ,

    I’ve been ‘homeless’ after my father passed away 10 years ago, after paying 6 years of his land taxes. I’ve lost roughly 95% of everything I’ve ever owned, after paying 6 years of land taxes and bills.

    I’ve been through some shit, so I have a kind heart towards others suffering the struggle…

    RBWells ,

    I have lived on the streets too. I just don’t feel like I can possibly help everyone, if that makes sense. And would question the motive of someone I don’t know trying to get into my house.

    It’s a very complicated problem. Some people are homeless from simple poverty and can climb out with some help, but we know these guys (it was always guys) who just don’t fit into society and can’t have a regular job or hustle enough to have stuff, but can get by without much, there doesn’t seem to be room in this country (USA) for them anymore. Like they have been illegal -ized.

    over_clox OP ,

    Agreed and understood. It’s not possible to help everyone every time. Some days I struggle to help myself, but it is whatever it is.

    But if I happen to find it within my means, I might help another person in struggle…

    brygphilomena ,

    My brother was homeless from addiction.

    I’d give food and water; if they wanted to wash up I have a hose and would bring them soap and shampoo. Unfortunately, I’ve been burned with shit disappearing from when my brother was addicted, so I probably wouldn’t let them in the house.

    wesker ,
    @wesker@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

    My experience with homeless people on my porch has usually been them stealing from it or shitting on it. So I’d be rather shocked if they just asked for something normal.

    I wouldn’t oblige the bath, but I could help them with some food and water.

    over_clox OP ,

    There is a difference between a homeless person and a thief. It’s a bad stereotype to consider all homeless people as thieves.

    In my experiences in life, thieves almost always have a home. I mean, where is a homeless person gonna store your television?

    They’re not the same.

    corroded ,

    It’s true that not everyone fits stereotypes, but be realistic. The vast majority of homeless people are drug addicts, alcoholics, or both. Addicts with no legal source of income are going to steal.

    I don’t hate homeless people at all, and I legitimately have sympathy for someone who fell on hard times and is trying to get their life together; I do hate addicts who are willing to take advantage of hard-working people. The venn diagram between homeless and addicts is very close to being a circle.

    over_clox OP ,

    Want a little plot twist? Everyone is addicted to something or another. Why is caffeine legal, but cocaine illegal? People piss money away at Starbucks while dissing the homeless.

    FireTower ,
    @FireTower@lemmy.world avatar

    There’s a slight but significant difference between being addicted to Starbucks and crack.

    over_clox OP ,

    There’s also the fact that instead of buying a $20 cup of coffee, you can get a $2 or so cup of coffee at most any old random gas station, and still have money left to buy 2 or 3 burgers to feed a couple homeless people instead.

    corroded ,

    I don’t want to buy 2 or 3 burgers to feed homeless people. I mentioned this in another comment, but the group of people who are homeless and the group of people who are addicted to meth, heroin, whatever are largely the same group, maybe with a few outliers. Why the hell would I want to buy lunch for someone who’s going to go out and rob or harass someone for $20 so they can go buy a bag of their drug of choice?

    People like myself (and others in this comment section) don’t hate the homeless. We hate drug addicts who shit all over society (sometimes literally) in order to get their next fix.

    Here’s an experiment you can try: The next time you see a homeless person begging for money so they can buy some food, refuse to give them money and offer to buy them food instead. They’re probably going to call you a piece of shit and if you’re lucky, they might leave you alone after that, but probably not.

    People need to have sympathy for the homeless, but not for addicts. We should have social programs to house the homeless, as long as they can pass a drug test. Food banks, work-placement programs, they should all exist and be taxpayer funded, as long as those using them can pass a drug test.

    over_clox OP ,

    I’ve already done exactly this with an ex girlfriend. Wonder why she’s an ex…

    dingus , (edited )

    Yeah, it bothers me when young, naive people on the internet don’t get this. Homelessness is often a lot more than just not having enough money. Often (but not always), it involves deep psychological issues. One of the reasons why the homeless issue is difficult to solve is because you can’t just throw money at them or even just give them a house and expect for everything to be fixed. They need psychological help, and often help with addiction, in addition to the money. I feel for these people, but it is absolutely not the simple issue people like to make it out to be.

    Personally, I don’t even answer the door for strangers unless I’m expecting someone.

    wesker ,
    @wesker@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

    They steal our patio furniture, and then I see it in the camps down the road. We’ve had to start locking it up with chains. In this case they are both homeless and thieves.

    over_clox OP ,

    Sadly, sometimes they can be thieves, but that doesn’t seem to be the usual case when I’ve met homeless people.

    Then again, maybe it’s because my instincts tell me who to avoid from a quarter mile away. You know, like that dude behind the Burger King dumpster with a face full of tattoos… Yeah, probably best to avoid…

    njm1314 ,

    I don’t even like opening the door to people I know.

    intensely_human ,

    I’d give it to him.

    Clinicallydepressedpoochie ,

    I’d give him a snack if he was desperate enough to come to my door. Wouldn’t let him inside but might come out to chat with him. Just to be sure they are well enough to carry on. Like, I didn’t have to call for medical assistance or something.

    It’s easy to say no when you’ve never been in that situation. I mean I’ve never been so out of it I’d beg a stranger to groom me but I have been completely on my own with nothing and no one.

    Any homeless person with good intent would know that cold knocking someone and asking to come inside is a bridge too far. So if they were trying that shit they would most likely be competely toasted or having a serious mental episode. Even more likely they are trying to steal your shit.

    I have had a homeless man come up to the door in an icestorm with no shirt on. The guy was soaked in alcohol and I did not feel safe. I did throw him a sweater, coat, and gloves because he could freeze but I was fucking terrified.

    over_clox OP ,

    Thank you on their behalf for at least trying to help keep them warm during hard freezing times.

    over_clox OP ,

    In my case, the ‘stranger’ wasn’t exactly a stranger anymore. Even though I had my own place to live with my family, I’d get tired of the home drama and I’d go ride my bicycle out to wherever my feet decided to pedal that night.

    There were two particular homeless fellas that I’d sometimes stop and shoot the shit with for a couple hours or so. Sometimes they’d even buy me a beer, just to have a friend to talk to.

    I never forgot their generosity. Never. I helped the older fella with a beard trim, some pizza, and a beer in return.

    The younger fella had been an album producer in the past, so I found him a fancy green suit about his size. Dunno if he kept it, but last I heard he actually got him a place in the next city over.

    Pacattack57 ,

    I would never answer the door for someone I didn’t expect so I wouldn’t know why they were at my door anyway.

    Subject6051 ,

    I don’t hold any answers but if you’re reading this comment, I want to know how you take into consideration that if they are asking for money, that money can easily be used for drugs/opioids/other stuff which will hurt them.

    i.e., Do you give them money or do you give them food, a bottle of water or stuff like that?

    BonesOfTheMoon ,

    Just don’t judge what they use money for. It’s not your place to police someone’s habits. Addiction is very hard.

    lightnsfw ,

    A couple years ago some guy at the gas station gave me this long ass spiel about how he wasn’t on drugs (like the whole time it took to fill my tank up he was going on about it) and then asked me for gas money. I was like buddy here’s $20 but if you’re spending this on drugs get some for me too.

    rozodru ,

    as someone who was homeless I’d let them in to take a shower and trim themselves up. If they’re an addict or mentally ill then no, i’d direct them somewehre else. I’ve had way too many bad interactions with both, especially addicts. If it was a homeless person who was sober and mentally sound? yeah i’d provide help because I know that programs and resources don’t exist for them they’re tailored for the addicts and mentally ill. Hell i’d even offer my couch. But addicts know the system and they’re only going to your door to rip you off. and the mentally ill don’t even know they’re homeless so they wouldn’t be knocking and asking for help anyways.

    lightnsfw ,

    I’d give him food/water, cash, call him a ride, or whatever else he needed but he’s not coming inside. Too much risk. Even just giving stuff I’d worry he’ll come back.

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