What would you do if a scraggly homeless person knocked on your door, and all he asked was for a sandwich, a bottle of water, a bath, and perhaps a beard trim?

grasshopper_mouse , 18 days ago

First I’d wonder how they got through my security gate. I would not let them in. I’m a 5’3" middle-aged woman and I know my limitations, I’m not as young and strong as I used to be. I would talk to them through the door and not open it. If they said they wanted food and water, I might give them something but I would tell them to back up far away from the door before I put anything out there for them. Once they took it, I would ask them to leave.

over_clox OP , 18 days ago

Security gate is basically typing in 999

dumblederp , 19 days ago (edited 19 days ago)

You seem to have “but what if” responses for every answer.

My answer is no because I don’t trust them. Same reason I keep my little dog away from all pit bulls, I don’t trust them. Same reason I accept some women want to keep distance with all men, lack of trust.

There’s water in the bubbler at my local park.

over_clox OP , 19 days ago

Yes, of course I intended on my post to be interpreted hypothetically. Every situation is different, and every person is different.

Quintus , 19 days ago

I am skeptical on letting my friends in my house. I am not going let a random person with high odds of having some sort of physical/mental issue in my house no thank you.

Will I help? Absolutely. Just in anywhere that isn’t my house.

LifeOfChance , 19 days ago

Homeless or rich it doesn’t matter I just don’t trust people anymore. With that said though I will happily help guide them to resources and donate to shelters fairly often. I have some bad history with strangers so even though I’ve tried working through it there doesn’t seem to be much change.

You doing what you did is awesome and I bet really helped that guy with more than just a shave.

AgentGrimstone , 20 days ago

TBH I wouldn’t open the door for safety reasons. Now if they had approached me on the street and there were shops nearby, yes I would help.

daltotron , 20 days ago

All of those things can be done outside of my house, so I don’t really see any reason why not to. Beard trim, blam, here’s a razor, sandwich, here’s that shit, here’s a bottle of water, the hose is over there, here’s some soap, blam. Even if I’m cooking up the most diabolical and insane homeless person of all time, I can still fulfill all of those requests while also keeping them outside, doing very little, and maybe telling them to also fuck off after if I’m a psycho.

The rest of this is gonna mostly be venting, so you can safely ignore it if you don’t care.

People in america are totally cooked on homelessness, even though they’re, on average, metaphorically inches away from it at any given time. Homeless shelters in america mostly are horrible places to go where your shit will be stolen and they will do nothing. They’re bad for children, they’re full of drugs, and very frequently they have curfews, rules against having animals or pets, rules requiring that you go to religious ceremonies, etc. Homeless people aren’t just like, insane illogical transients. I mean they kind of are, but there’s also a reason for why they do the things that they do, that includes maybe knocking on the door of a random suburb.

I would actually find it more likely in this situation that this random person would probably want to use my toilet since there are no fucking public toilets in america, especially as private businesses will deny use of their restrooms to people who look homeless. Then people get arrested for public defecation, urination, or nudity because there’s nowhere else to go, obviously there’s also mental health, and then all you see is how some guy on the street on fent gets arrested with his pants around his ankles and his asscheeks covered in shit and you think “wow that guy’s crazy” and have no further thoughts. Context is eradicated.

Give someone in america the slightest advantage over the homeless, a shitty suburban flat, with a lower rent, that they spend two thirds or more of their income on, including roommates, and they will still somehow find a way to spit on the homeless after riding the bus into town every day cause they can’t afford a car. They will still live their lives in fear and they will still come to hate the homeless because somehow the person basically making negative income is not able to afford soap or a high-fiber diet.

It’s the “Oh, well, it’s not my problem, that sucks for them, but I’m still allowed to be offended by it.” sort of mentality. You can give them every reason under the sun why hating the homeless doesn’t make any sense, why hating the homeless is immoral, why they don’t deserve it, how they are products of their environment. Still people will desperately cling to it. It makes me understand how racism occurs, I suppose, because it’s the same phenomena. “Ah, well, I understand all of the stats about racism, but this particular member of this particular racial minority, I still hate them personally for acting in line with the statistical average of their group.”. Insanity. It’s as though it’s all just abstract thought goop that has no bearing on anyone’s life, or that somehow I should be the exception to it.

I think it’s gotta be a functional adaptation, or something. Maybe they can prevent themselves from going insane and becoming nihilists if they just suddenly become individualists and objectivists as soon as it becomes convenient, or something. It is not that hard to conceive of a reality in which the person cutting you off in traffic is rushing to the hospital, or, a reality in which they, maybe naively but understandably want to enjoy their expensive car while they still can, or, maybe a reality in which they’re just panicking because they’re late to work or something.

I am an introvert, I am awkward, I hate hanging around people and talking to people. Even I can talk to the homeless when they need someone to talk to, and reluctantly give them money, and rides to places when they ask, since it would otherwise be like two hours and twelve dollars of travel, bus stops, a transfer station, travel, more bus stops, before they get across town to do a fairly basic errand. The social fabric is falling apart. Please be nice, it is not that hard, it costs very little, it happens infrequently, and very possibly if some of you extroverted assholes picked up some slack instead of making things harder for the most maligned, I could go back to my cave.

over_clox OP , 20 days ago

This is an interesting and deep insight, thank you for posting your thoughts! 👍

some_guy , 20 days ago

I would offer to buy them a meal and pay for a low-cost motel room. I’d even be willing to buy them some toiletries to get cleaned up. I would not invite them into my home under any conditions.

Perhapsjustsniffit , 20 days ago

We live in Canada in a very rural area. We’ve opened our door to strangers. Gave people a place to sleep and a hot meal, even let them live with us for a time to get their feet under themselves. I’d hope someone would do the same for my family if they needed it.

Side note: one of these folks is actually here today having supper with us and hanging with the kiddos. She’s got a job and a house now and going back to school in September. Two years ago we let her set her tent up here and use the washroom for a few weeks.

curiousaur , 20 days ago

Honestly it’s a bad idea. Might be fine, might not be. Not worth the risk. Some unhoused folks are addicts or mentally ill. People tend to return to places that become familiar. The might come back again. Maybe to rob you.

I’m speaking from experience. I gave a guy a place to live to try to get back on his feet, in exchange for some work. Realized he’s a severe addict and couldn’t get rid of him. Then I look like the asshole for putting him back on the street.

feedum_sneedson , 20 days ago

“absolutely fucking not, and never come here again”

Sorry, but I’ll help people when I want to, on my own terms. Before you pile on, I literally just housed somebody for over a month, in the shitty one bedroom flat I rent. As in, they stayed on the sofa and only left on Tuesday. I also provided 90% of their food and gave them money to cover an outgoing debt payment.

It was a fucking huge inconvenience, actually. A helping hand is fine, but some people will happily take your whole arm.

over_clox OP , 20 days ago

Your last sentence strikes a hard truth, but I totally get you. Yeah, I ain’t suggesting anyone outright adopt a homeless person and wipe their ass every day and all, just saying that sometimes, depending on the circumstances and the individual, that it’s only proper to help for a day or three, within your means anyways.

John_McMurray , 20 days ago

Sandwich, bottle of water, directions off the property.

over_clox OP , 20 days ago

You mean directions towards the nearest shelters? It’s easy to tell someone to go away, but does it hurt you to try to help them locate proper shelter, instead of just tell them to go away?

Waraugh , 20 days ago

I got kids, I’ll get you a sandwich and water while you wait outside but I don’t know them just like I don’t know any other stranger that showed up unannounced, that I would also not let in. If it was just me I have a higher risk tolerance, it’s going to be pretty close to zero when I have others who are dependent on me under my care. Sorry, not sorry.

over_clox OP , 20 days ago (edited 20 days ago)

Let’s say we’re in Arizona right now, hypothetical…

Let’s say it’s 120⁰F outside. You gonna leave the fella outside, only to die on your porch of heat stroke?

Edit: Ain’t that cute, I see I’ve been downvoted. Welp, if such a hypothetical situation happens, and someone dies on your porch in the heat, then you’d basically be guilty of negligent homicide since you could have helped, but refused to.

I’m not exactly a fan of having people die on my porch.

01189998819991197253 , 20 days ago

Don’t know where you’re at, but where I am, I have no legal obligation to help anyone trespassing on my property. That said, I would call the cops, so they can help him. While they may not be great at this, it’s their job (not mine), and I’m not risking my life. Maybe he’s honest in his needs. Maybe he’s not, and his intentions are nefarious. Do you know? I don’t, and I’m not willing to risk my life finding out.

over_clox OP , 20 days ago

A person knocking on your door and asking for help shouldn’t be outright considered as a trespasser, especially if all they’re asking is help. Of course you can’t trust just anyone, but still, if someone showed up and knocked on my door, sweating their ass off in the scorching heat of the summer and asking for help, I ain’t about to leave them out in the heat…

01189998819991197253 , 20 days ago (edited 20 days ago)

That’s fine. If your risk posture allows you to do that, then great. Mine doesn’t. I will give them as much water as they need, food if they need, even a change of clothes and a coolrag. They can chill in my yard under the shade of whatever trees they want. They can use my hose to cool off, wash, whatever. But, they’re not coming in my home. [and they need to leave before that evening’s up].

E: correct autocorrect

E2: this is a coolrag

https://infosec.pub/pictrs/image/a6803db4-15d9-493e-bc94-fc82dedffa82.jpeg

E3 in []

John_McMurray , 20 days ago

No I mean gtfo and deal with your own shit.

over_clox OP , 20 days ago

Hey, I ain’t mad, at least you said you’d help with the bare basics of a little food and water.

But what if it’s 120⁰F outside? What if they’re about to suffer a heat stroke on your porch?

John_McMurray , 20 days ago

Are you seriously asking if I react differently in different situations?

over_clox OP , 20 days ago

What if you were the person suffering in the heat? Should I open my door for you? Because if I could tell you were genuinely in need of help, I would…

CorruptedArk , 21 days ago

I subscribe to a policy of cautious altruism, like a lot of folks already said. I need to keep myself and my family safe so probably not allow in the house, but I’d give food water, the hose, soap, shampoo, clean towel, and a change of clothes if I can. Maybe even some cash if I have it around to spare.

If I have a shed or garage I’d allow them to use it to change clothes privately and offer to wash their clothes if safe. They may have residue of drugs like meth on their clothes that I’m unable handle.

I’ve also got a decent amount of privilege to share.

Be kind, be safe

over_clox OP , 21 days ago

Be kind, be safe, and love thy fellow person. 👍

CorruptedArk , 21 days ago

I’ve quite a few friends I’ve personally pulled out of homelessness, so I’ve seen how hard it is firsthand, I hope things are better for you

over_clox OP , 20 days ago

Things actually are better for me these days. Not great, but much better. I’m living in a decent affordable apartment now, rather than the old run down trailer park I came from.

Thank you for your kind words. 👍

I’ve had people occasionally help me along the way, and at my discretion, I’m glad to help others in return when possible. Pass it forward…

CorruptedArk , 21 days ago

Also, for anyone reading through this thinking, “I shouldn’t give them money because drugs”

I use drugs to cope with chronic pain so I can get through a workday

I’m skilled labor and make a decent salary

The only things separating me from a homeless person were some “fortunate” family deaths providing enough inheritance to put me through college at a good time and some lucky networking

We should all be more humble and less judgemental of eachother’s choices

over_clox OP , 21 days ago

I’m not exactly sure how to interpret all this, except I think you have a decent trustworthy soul, and care about others.

CorruptedArk , 21 days ago

Yeah, I try to every day

Some days are harder than others, I ain’t perfect, I’ve caused probably as much harm as good, but I try my best

over_clox OP , 21 days ago

I think you need a digital hug 🤗

overcast5348 , 21 days ago

“I shouldn’t give them money because drugs”

I have a roof over my head, eat thrice a day, and have a loving family. Yet there are days when I want to drown myself in alcohol or weed. Who am I to judge a homeless person if they choose to do drugs and forget their suffering for a little while?

I always give money, if anything, to the few of them in my neighborhood. Whether it’s food , clothes, drugs or something else - they know what they need better than I know it.

Triasha , 21 days ago

I wouldn’t feel safe letting a stranger in to shower. My wife would be very upset with me.

They could have a bottle of water and a sandwich.

over_clox OP , 20 days ago

Totally understandable, every situation is different. But what if you made a compromise, especially given the hotter than average weather lately, and gave the person a splash of shampoo and let him/her wash their hair with your garden hose in the back yard or something?

AngryCommieKender , 20 days ago

I’d offer them the hose and privacy of the backyard at least. They could even use the warm collected rainwater if they wanted, I just would also get in trouble with my housemates if I did that.

brygphilomena , 21 days ago

My brother was homeless from addiction.

I’d give food and water; if they wanted to wash up I have a hose and would bring them soap and shampoo. Unfortunately, I’ve been burned with shit disappearing from when my brother was addicted, so I probably wouldn’t let them in the house.

njm1314 , 21 days ago

I don’t even like opening the door to people I know.