I live pretty darn rural nowadays. Used to live in a biggish city. Didn’t dislike it, it has its upsides like people have pointed out. And I could afford it, even a largeish house if I would’ve wanted. But the prospect of being effectively turned into a modern day slave by virtue of having to have a well paying job to afford mortgage and over all higher cost of living associated with big city life it just didn’t feel appealing. So we bought an old farm in the boonies instead for less than we sold the apartment for. Pretty much no neighbors. 20.000 SQ meters of land, some goats and hens. It’s pretty tranquil and peaceful. Still work a stressful IT job that pays well but being able to just stroll through a 100 year old forest by walking out the door does wonders for stress management I feel. Sure the commute sucks when I do need to be at the office but it’s a small price to pay and it has meant that I actually take the time to read quite a few books per year during said commute.
This entire question is completely distorted by the poor-qualtiy postwar urbanism that is rampant everywhere.
The reality is, there shouldn't be much difference. Lowrise cities -- 2-4 story buildings/townhomes, small apartments, walkable neighborhoods/mass transit, corner groceries, all that stuff that people think can ONLY exist in big cities should be the norm for nearly all towns.
I don't think many people would describe a place like, say, Bordeaux as a "big city". 250kish people in 50 square kilometers is hardly Paris. It's a small city, or maybe a big town. And it has everything you can want from a city and more. Shows, museums, beautiful multimodal neighborhoods, a robust tram system, restaurants and cafes and bars. All this kind of stuff.
The problem is we've all been mentally taught you can either live in island, R1A zoned suburbs which require driving to do ANYTHING or else you need to live in a huge metropolis like NYC. Or else we've been trained to think of a "city" like the bullshit they have in Texas, where it combines all the worst features of those island suburbs/car dependence with all the worst parts of city (crazy prices, noise, exposure to nearby-feeling crime, etc).
While a lot of the US big cities are trying to sort out the knots they've tied themselves in, your best bet to find beautiful, livable urban-ism is in those much smaller <500k cities that don't even show up on the typical lists of cities. Especially if they are historic, since the more historic a place is the less likely it got bulldozed in the 60s to make room for more highways (destroying local neighborhoods in the process) Some kind of a big university also tends to be a plus, though it's a mixed bag. Check for places that do not have an interstate carving through the middle of the city.
The problem is we've all been mentally taught you can either live in island, R1A zoned suburbs which require driving to do ANYTHING or else you need to live in a huge metropolis like NYC
I prefer areas zoned for agriculture over either of those. My favorite place I've lived so far is one where you look out at night and see nothing but inky black outside my windows. I'll walk 5 miles to the nearest town for that.
I'll never argue with someone who wants that true, rural/countryside/homestead life. The appeal is there for me too, even if my own calculus says the cons wildly outweigh the pros.
I'm pretty skeptical you're going to find it 5 miles from a healthy town, though.
For me the important difference between the two isn’t just a zoning problem, it’s a people problem.
Small towns, like the one I grew up in, even ones that are comparatively progressive, are still a nightmare for anyone who doesn’t fit in with the community norm.
Big cities let people find their community because therefore a lot of different ones to try.
This doesn’t go away with different planning or by fucking cars or whatever the kids are into these days.
Big cities let people find their community because therefore a lot of different ones to try.
You should read the horror stories from so many of those NYC co-ops. Some would make even the most jackbooted HOA presidents blush.
I don't really think this is unique to cities of some specific size. I definitely agree that it's going to be harder to find a perfect fit in a smaller town. But it's also harder to meet people at all in an anonymous metropolis where you have to work 75 hours a week just to make rent.
If you take away anything from what I have written, it's that I think this dichotomy is bad. We need a compromise. The lowrise old-world city is what worked for our species for at least 5 millenia -- it's only in the past couple of decades we decided to rethink it and force a schism between the fake rural aesthetic of the suburbs and the productive, efficient downtown -- and in so doing we destroyed both city life (by making it ungodly expensive thanks to the immense financial drain the suburbs and lack of continuing infill development represent) and the peaceful countryside life (by putting to death small towns in favor of the interstate highway big box store commercial strip). The only lifestyle that has weathered and still works pretty well in this day and age is the homesteader life, and to say that way of living is not for everyone is definitely an understatement.
I might go for a city if not for the environmental challenges, people not feeling like people, and the violence. Cities seem built on quantity, villages are built on quality.
There was a city I lived in that had a small town feel on Vancouver Island. It was nice being able to go do things like eat at restaurants, hike, go buy hobby stuff, but also the freedom of driving a few minutes to the woods to be alone. The neighborhood I lived in and the surrounding area was quiet and close to nature. So, I’d say I’d like to live in a small town, since I grew up in one, but be close enough to a city where I can do stuff.
Having lived in both, I prefer the big city. Aside from numerous reasons already mentioned in this thread, I notice that big city people are more open-minded and more diverse. Being slightly different for whatever reason is more of an issue in a small community.
I prefer a small town that’s geographically close to a larger city and public transit. Sounds weird but I’m actually lucky enough to currently live in such a place. Everybody in my town is super friendly, I’ve not had a single porch pirate incident or other securoty since I moved in over a year ago, even after accidentally leaving the trunk of my car open overnight, plenty of nature, cheap(er) groceries… and then I can hit the subway to hit the rest of civilization.
Rail for intercity/town transport plus bikes and buses/trams for in town is my dream set up.
I just want to get to places quickly, safely, and without breaking the bank. It doesn’t need to be bullet train for me, or with a quintuple 9 degree of safety and I would pay more in taxes or personal cost to have it. Just something better than the constant growing traffic and distances every year.
Big city! Given those 2 extremes. Not that I genuinely know. Every choice of residence has been out of extreme necessity. Never made a “voluntary” choice to move with proper time.
I want walkability, access to services, and robust infrastructure.
2nd choice is middle of nowhere where I can do all that stuff myself and homestead.
I grew up in a small town. I live in a big city. While I can see the allure of smallish towns (20-50k people), I prefer not having to drive several miles to get anywhere. I have three grocery stores and a bar/restaurant/music venue within walking distance. Cities that size also tend to have urban sprawl which I think is ugly af.
The town I grew up in had about 2500 people and you had to drive an hour and a half to get to a town with more than 10k people. People there tend to be very conservative which is odd considering the government is the biggest employer and towns like that take more state funds than they produce.
Yeah but people in small towns are more likely to believe 15 minute cities is just a cover for 15 minute prisons so planning is a minefield of conspiracy morons.
I prefer to live in the middle of nowhere(ish) aside from the conservative culture which inevitably comes with it. I also like walkable city areas. I completely hate anything in between.