They’re not really lying, it’s more like those medieval drawings of exotic animals the artist had clearly never seen before, based purely on rumors and secondhand descriptions.
Yeah like, don’t get me wrong there’s definitely physical qualities that are overall considered more or less desirable for both real and entirely made up reasons (or some combination of both), but it’s not like they make or break your success in life, they just tilt the scales, and they tilt the scales differently in different situations.
Like I’ll be honest I do enjoy a good full head of hair to run my fingers through, but it’s not the be all end all I look for in a partner, it’s one of a bunch of little things that I don’t actually need all of in a partner. Yeah the more little things I find attractive about them, the more attractive I’ll find the whole package. Meanwhile my mother has mentioned to me multiple times throughout my life that she really really loves bald guys (her dad who died when she was a tween was bald so yeah my mother is legit insane but that’s its own whole thing the actual point here is that there’s a lid for every pot).
So yeah not being conventionally attractive is definitely a disadvantage in pretty much all areas of life, but there’s also a lot of other things you CAN change that can make a much bigger difference. Some people act like how big their nose is or whatever is the reason everything seems to be going wrong for them, while completely ignoring the parts of them that are changeable like how personable they are conversationally. That’s literally just a skill you can learn.
And it turns out a lot of attractiveness is also just how well you take care of yourself. Not having bathed or wearing dirty clothes, or regardless of expense wearing clothes that don’t fit your shape or suit the image that you’re trying to put out there obviously just doesn’t look as good as someone who took some time to take care of their body and put nice things on it that suit them (and I used to be a hella thrift shopper, it doesn’t even have to be pricey).
Tldr there’s a huge spectrum in between attractiveness factors that are innate versus ones that you can improve and it turns out a lot of people are happier and more mentally healthy when they focus on the things that they can change. It’s literally in the serenity prayer from alcoholics anonymous.
Every individual person has things that they are and aren’t attracted to, and it’s all different. Some people like big boobs, some want small boobs. Some people like blondes, others like brunets. Some want that ultra chad body, others are into the computer nerd. Some people really hate the idea of women being tall/taller than them, I want them to step on my balls.
Lul at the ball stepping. Some people area REALLY into the dad bod gamer Boi thing. My fiancee and ex of 12 years had both said that if I lose weight they would leave me, granted they said it tongue in cheek but they both like the dad bod thing.
It really is about how you carry yourself and take care of yourself. I’ve been described as smart, funny and decent looking. I’m fastidios about cleanliness and dress nicely and I don’t go around thinking about people being normies.
Some of those people just need to chill off 4 chan for a bit and need someone to hold their hand while they lead them back into society.
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