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trouble , to lemmyshitpost in The water is cold 🌊

This was funny about 3 months ago

aeronmelon , to lemmyshitpost in what a catch

Here’s a picture of me and my ex - a hotel hallway.

bradorsomething , to noncredibledefense in Anytizer® applications accepted

Über Forces

sxan , to lemmyshitpost in The water is cold 🌊
@sxan@midwest.social avatar

Did Taylor Swift die in a plane crash? I feel like that would have bumped all other news.

stoy , (edited )

Nah, she is just an asshole who keeps flying unneccesary trips in private jets, most recently when she was on tour she had a spare private jet flying with her if the first one should break.

don , to noncredibledefense in Anytizer® applications accepted
joyjoy , to lemmyshitpost in what a catch

5’11

odium ,

Impossible

BoxerDevil ,

Yeah, based on the photo, I doubt more than 5’8"

jeffw ,
@jeffw@lemmy.world avatar

Is that part of the joke? I don’t get it

can ,

Any real man would round up.

mynameisigglepiggle ,

I’m 5’11, but 6ft erect.

odium ,

It’s a meme that all 5’11" ppl round up and claim they’re 6 feet

jeffw ,
@jeffw@lemmy.world avatar

Is that related to the incel thing where they say women refuse to date short men?

BirdyBoogleBop ,

You get more matches if you round up to 6ft.

Crashumbc ,

This may be a surprise, but there is a group of women that woman equivalent of incel men.

jeffw ,
@jeffw@lemmy.world avatar

“Won’t anyone think of the poor men!!”

Crashumbc ,

Great hyperbole! Actually no one is “poor”, all humans are shitbags, when given power they will abuse it.

albin_jo_09 ,
@albin_jo_09@mastodon.social avatar

@Crashumbc @jeffw What you mean ? How can we see everyone as same ?

Crashumbc ,

How can you not? Although white males are currently and most (all?) of human history have been top of the power pyramid and have been complete assholes to others with that power. And should be rightly called out on their abuse to others. That doesn’t exclude others from being shitbags when they get or have power over others.

The only logical conclusion is the ALL humans are generally shits bags when they have the power to be. (Taking into account your normal exceptions and outliers to the rule of course.)

jeffw ,
@jeffw@lemmy.world avatar

“All lives matter!!” Great take

Crashumbc ,

Such a sad person, that’s all you got from my comment. Try thinking next time. Nothing I said, indicates I believe in “all lives matter” quite the opposite in fact.

jeffw ,
@jeffw@lemmy.world avatar

Bud, you all lives mattered sexism. If you really can’t reread your comment and see the parallels, that’s pretty sad

Crashumbc ,

You’re like doubling down on not even understanding the terms you’re throwing around. This is a waste of time. Goodbye.

jeffw ,
@jeffw@lemmy.world avatar

“Women suffer, but we all suffer!”

“Black people suffer, but we all suffer!”

I’ll just leave it at that

John_McMurray ,

kiiiiinda…but there’s a not insignificant number of women actually won’t either, probably more related to the “6 foot mininum” you see on tinder profiles a lot.

jeffw ,
@jeffw@lemmy.world avatar

A lot? Granted, I haven’t used dating apps in almost a decade, but I never saw that

Ragnarok314159 ,

I remember meeting a lot of my women friend’s boyfriends back when everyone was going through that song and dance. “He is six feet!”

What was always incredible is how many of these six foot tall dudes were the same height or shorter than me, and I am five ten.

Gabu ,

The weirdest thing is that 6 feet (183cm) isn’t even very tall. If you’re going to lie, go all out and say you’re 7 feet tall.

Acinonyx ,

but when I make fun of women for being fat I’m the bad guy

Duke_Nukem_1990 ,

Correct.

OneWomanCreamTeam ,

I mean, you can both be bad guys ☺️

LEDZeppelin , to noncredibledefense in Anytizer® applications accepted

Meal Team Six

zerosignal ,

Looks too skinny for Meal Team Six, or the Gravy Seals for that matter.

Anticorp ,

If that’s your idea of skinny, what do you consider buff?

zerosignal ,

Most of y’all quaeda is far fatter than that

Anticorp ,

He’s not fat or skinny, he’s pretty fucking strong, man. That dude is built like a powerlifter.

Pyroglyph , to lemmyshitpost in Definitely deserves a place in the food pyramid
@Pyroglyph@lemmy.world avatar

Craving carbs? Nah, you just need nitrogen. Just breathe some air, bro.

What even is that chart?

set_secret , to lemmyshitpost in Definitely deserves a place in the food pyramid

apparently you basically only need nuts. and possibly a vagina.

GluWu ,

I got deez nuts, now gibbe da pussi plz

Turd_Ferg , to noncredibledefense in The Best Offense is a Good Jeffence
@Turd_Ferg@sh.itjust.works avatar
MystikIncarnate ,

I’m not Jeff, but I can confidently say I have less than 10 nuclear weapons. Zero is less than 10.

mumblerfish , to noncredibledefense in The Best Offense is a Good Jeffence

Jeff just has a really good claim that he has lost a nuke. Share a beer with Jeff and he’ll tell you the story. Even managed to convince CNN to put him down for -1<10.

nuke , (edited ) to noncredibledefense in The Best Offense is a Good Jeffence
@nuke@sh.itjust.works avatar

I think they’re on to us Jeff

swab148 ,
@swab148@startrek.website avatar

He’s only got one ❤️

TIMMAY , to lemmyshitpost in Definitely deserves a place in the food pyramid

Is the chart legitimate at all sans the vagina joke?

jewbacca117 ,

The vagina joke is the most legitimate part of this chart.

IsoSpandy ,

As a doctor, I can say with 100% certainty that the chart below is completely incorrect. Your craves sweet because it is low on energy 5 different metals

stoneparchment ,
@stoneparchment@possumpat.io avatar

how reliable do you think herbs-info.com is?

(the answer is probably: not very)

Abucketofpuppies ,

The first thing it tells you to eat is raw cocoa beans. I don’t think you should.

TIMMAY ,

you cant stop me

sxan ,
@sxan@midwest.social avatar

No. Unless you hate life. The extra 5 years this will expand your life will be at the end, when you’re feeling your worst and ready to die anyway.

Or: you could enjoy your life while you’re young enough to, and in your prime, and much off maybe a couple of years earlier thereby avoiding those extra years you’d spend wishing you were dead.

Anyway, except in extreme cases, like obesity or diabetes, genetics play a larger role in your lifestyle and quality of life at the end than any lifestyle choices. Your job is mainly to avoid being a complete fat, unfit lard-ass; do that, and if you’ll likely live as long as the average male in your family tree did.

RecluseRamble ,

The extra 5 years this will expand your life will be at the end, when you’re feeling your worst and ready to die anyway.

The difference between growing old sickly or in good health is huge. You don’t just lose the shitty 5 years, you make those before much more miserable too.

It’s not sugar or ultra-processed foods that make living worthwhile. You’re just addicted to them right now.

The original chart is trash anyway.

sxan ,
@sxan@midwest.social avatar

I’ve lived long enough to have spend years on diets, some of which eliminated simple sugars, including all alcohol. The South Beach diet is almost entirely hand-made meals, many of which are some variation salad.

I can bear anything for a couple of months, so the first couple weren’t bad, but the ism of “nothing tastes as good as thin feels” kept me with it for two years. After the first couple of months, I started to hate food. I hated every one of those damned meals. They took a lot of time to prepare, and it was some of the worst food. Like I said, I kept with it for 24 months, but one day I decided that it wasn’t worth it; that I’d literally rather die than continue to consume Food Units.

In time, I’ve found other ways to manage my weight, which is the only reason I worry about this stuff. The men (and some women) in my family die from strokes. That’s what’s going to get me, not diabetes, heart attack, or any other diet-related morbidity. As long as I can stay comfortable with my weight - which I can - enjoying food is far more important than consuming raw vegetables or whatever horrid suggestion people are making.

Doritos taste fucking awesome. It’s why they’re popular. Swiss Rolls taste like god-damned ambrosia. They’re why there are so many diabetics in the US. Nobody is holding people down and stuffing fried chicken in their mouths; people eat because it tastes fantastic.

“Addicted” my ass. The food tastes great.

You eating only carrots your whole life isn’t going to stop you getting Alzheimer’s or dementia, or from having an aneurism. And statistically, if your diet doesn’t lead to obesity, your diet isn’t going to measurably impact your quality of life, except that you’re going to spend most of your life eating food that tastes like crap.

RecluseRamble ,

I’m not the food police, eat what you want. But it’s just not true that by consuming crap you “only” shorten your lifespan and the living years aren’t affected by it.

“Addicted” my ass. The food tastes great.

Nope, addiction to highly processed food is a thing: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7750273/

andrew ,
@andrew@lemmy.stuart.fun avatar

Bro it’s very real. Can’t you see the scholarly citation?

Source: coaching and weight management.

Hominine , to lemmyshitpost in Definitely deserves a place in the food pyramid
@Hominine@lemmy.world avatar

It says vagina, but they really want us to eat nuts.

Gork OP ,

The question then becomes, which nuts?

eager_eagle ,
@eager_eagle@lemmy.world avatar

deez

nifty ,
@nifty@lemmy.world avatar

Some vaginas have nuts, so you can eat both

OmegaMouse , to lemmyshitpost in Definitely deserves a place in the food pyramid
@OmegaMouse@pawb.social avatar

Is penis a valid substitute or would I need to take any supplements?

some_guy ,

I got your back. Chow down on some erect tissue. Grab it with both hands (if you can).

HootinNHollerin ,

Eggplant

dojan ,
@dojan@lemmy.world avatar

Both is good.

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