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Gingerlegs , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump

We deserve to be wiped out by global warming

OhmsLawn , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump

Imagine how mortifying it would be to have a legitimate ear injury this week.

vxx ,

As long as you don’t tell your doctor to make the patch as big as possible like trump did, you should be fine in most cases. This looks more like the size of bandage you would get after ripping your whole ear off.

archomrade , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump

Lol I bet Trump absolutely hates this

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

No, I’m sure he sees it as a sign that they like him, which he ravenously craves.

archomrade ,

A sign that also happens the be a reminder that everyone else hates him so much they want him dead

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

Kind of like making a cross the symbol of Christianity?

archomrade ,

Depends, is his bleeding ear a symbol of eternal life and forgiveness of sins, too?

I find the comparison to religion kind of laughable. As full of himself Trump is I do not think he shares Christ’s confidence of heavenly ascendance. He sure as fuck doesn’t want to die, but especially not as a sacrifice for the sins of his followers.

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

The comparison to religion is very apt, considering how Trump’s followers worship him.

archomrade ,

Trump does not have any interest in sacrificing himself for his followers.

I’m not convinced he enjoys being reminded of his brush with death.

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

Actually, he seems to relish in it.

https://www.pennlive.com/resizer/v2/2SRDAYDZ4VAJFIZEDYCGWUXEKI.png?auth=1fbf8094a071d3e9a63e11cf94f621938d328e06e603bb927be513c5a618cbc9&width=500&quality=90

(These are actual shoes he’s selling.)

Like most narcissists, he’ll gladly take any opportunity to get attention by being a victim.

But, no, he has no interest in sacrificing himself for his followers. That point is irrelevant - I’m pointing out the aspect of worshipping a person, not the goodness or badness of that person.

archomrade ,

I’m pointing out the aspect of worshipping a person, not the goodness or badness of that person.

Lmao, that’s not what I’m saying. He loves attention, absolutely. I’m commenting on his personal feelings about being shot at and wounded, not his feelings of being adored. Trump talks a big game about violence but can’t stomach being a part of it himself. He famously dodged the draft by faking bone spurs and has called wounded and disabled veterans ‘disgusting’. I don’t think he enjoys people highlighting the fact he almost died by drawing attention to his injury from it.

He likes being able to say he was the victim of a shooting, but he likely does not see actually getting hit a flattering quality. Like for the shoe, he didn’t even pick the famous photo from that day, he picked an objectively worse one where his ear isn’t even shown and he’s posing just like he does at every rally. It it weren’t for a dribble of blood on his cheek this picture could be mistaken for any other day of his campaign.

No, I don’t think he enjoys people taping gauze on their ears in reference to his injury.

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

I’d like to think it annoys him, I just doubt it does.

qprimed , (edited )

100 years from now in a Tchurch™…

“and now, my brothers and sisters in Trump, we sing in praise of His Holy Orangeness and place the sacrament of The Bandage upon our ear.”

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

“Followed by the ceremonial grabbing of the pussy.”

Blackmist OP ,

I think the only thing Trump hates is not being the centre of attention.

That and being told “no” to anything.

Zipitydew , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump

This might be the peak. I can’t imagine how we’ll ever have a more Not The Onion article.

Peak cult bullshit.

martinb ,

You are most likely invoking a “hold my beer” moment.

snooggums ,
@snooggums@midwest.social avatar

Nah, if he has a stroke and half his face doesn’t work I expect a non-zero number of his cultists to have half their face paralyzed in solidarity.

autotldr Bot , to casualuk in Lancashire mum fined £240 defends term-time holiday

This is the best summary I could come up with:


“It’s a no brainer,” mum Laura Melling said after she decided to take her daughters out of school during term-time to save £3,000 on their family holiday.Mrs Melling and her husband Paul from Leyland, Lancashire, were each fined £120 after taking their children out of primary school for a trip to Egypt.The nurse, whose TikTok about the fine has been viewed 1.4 million times, said the term-time holiday ban was “ridiculous”.The Department of Education said school attendance was the key to giving “every child the best start in life”.

Lancashire County Council, which issued the fine, said it always encouraged schools to work closely with parents to reduce unauthorised absences.

“A holiday can feel like a small period of time to families, but this is having a big impact and we don’t want that to be the case,” he said.

“All of us within the education sector are imploring parents to recognise the detrimental impact it can have when children are not consistently in school.”

It is harder for schools to hold the line that every day missed has an impact on education, because bluntly families no longer believe it is that stark.

Yet this week research has confirmed that tests and exam results are showing the pandemic led to a widened gap between children from the highest and lowest income families.That suggests missing days at school will have a bigger impact on some children than others.At the same time, it’s clear how much the cost of living crisis is hitting families, making a trip away during school holidays ever more expensive.Some parents may decide that £80 is still cheaper than a family trip in the UK or abroad in July or August.


The original article contains 1,049 words, the summary contains 283 words. Saved 73%. I’m a bot and I’m open source!

octopus_ink , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump
snekerpimp , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump

Of all the dick sucking moves you could do………… I am amazed at how eager they toss the salad.

solsangraal , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump

LOL what the fuck. i’ve never seen a more subservient bitchass group of bootlicking sheep than republicans

blarth ,

They really are strange.

lobut ,

Apparently, the other people are sheep. These are the free-thinking freedom loving people! /s

Dear God man … this is crazy cringe.

rayyy ,

Projection is how Republicans roll. Remember when MAGA accused Joe Biden of wearing diapers and they found out their dear orange felon/rapist cult leader wore them instead, and started wearing them?

garbagebagel ,

LOL WHAT

Leate_Wonceslace ,
@Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

It’s not as weird as the diapers.

RaoulDook ,

I think it’s pretty close. Both are super fucking weird and pathetic.

markon ,

Don’t knock diapers till you try em tho

gnutrino ,

Makes me think of the court at Versailles all pretending to have anal fistulas after Louis XIV had surgery for one.

TokenBoomer ,

I’m gonna take your word, I ain’t clicking on anal fistulas.

Myxomatosis ,

And yet they’re the ones screeching about “alpha males and the loss of masculinity in America.”

TokenBoomer ,

Hierarchies gonna hypocritize.

solsangraal ,

which is hilarious, because if you’re whining about someone “taking away your masculinity,” (OR if you’re having panic attacks about someone else’s masculinity) then you were never masculine in the first place.

Myxomatosis ,

Fragile masculinity.

Lost_My_Mind ,

But remember, they hate being called sheep.

Just a reminder, jd vance, trumps newest vp pick, has on many occasions been quoted in the past of saying “I didn’t vote for trump”, “I never liked trump”, and “I’m a never-trump guy”.

NOW he sings trumps praises, and kisses trumps ass.

solsangraal ,

vance is just another vapid muppet who’ll get thrown under the bus the instant shit goes sideways and trump needs someone to blame for…whatever. just like all the other used-to-be-never-trumpers who are now fighting over who gets to be first to be facialed by trump

barsquid ,

His name has an extra syllable, he might be counting on Trumpanzees being unable to make a nice little chant like they did for Pence.

ShepherdPie ,

Vance literally called Trump “America’s Hitler” in a now deleted tweet.

Also so many are Christian and say shit like “the lord is my shepard” in the same breath that they call other people “sheep.”

negativenull , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump
@negativenull@lemmy.world avatar
Speculater ,
@Speculater@lemmy.world avatar

“I’M NOT THE MESSIAH!”

thisbenzingring ,

He’s just a naughty boy!

Zahille7 ,

“HE IS THE MESSIAH!”

gnutrino ,

“I say you are Lord and I should know, I’ve followed a few”

Squorlple , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump
@Squorlple@lemmy.world avatar
bcgm3 ,

So say we all.

Gnugit , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump

This timeline is so broken. I can’t believe that the USA may well vote this idocracy into power.

zcd , (edited )
sunzu , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump

Limp dick cucks copying a gereatric nepo baby for popularity points.

MudMan , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump

I'll give it to you, this is the most a Not The Onion post has made me go "wait, is that The Onion"?

Good job. I think.

SlippiHUD ,
@SlippiHUD@lemmy.world avatar

Oh, did you not see the commemorative sneakers he’s selling?

MudMan ,

Nah, that I believed. Trump shilling useless crap is extremely plausible.

Blackmist OP ,

I genuinely don’t know how satirists are supposed to make a living any more.

WhereGrapesMayRule , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump

Their heads are as soft as their little impotent penises.

kbal , to nottheonion in Republicans wear ear bandages in 'solidarity' with Trump
@kbal@fedia.io avatar

Be extra careful not to hurt your ear this week, you won't be able to bandage it

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