zeolith

Tim_McTuffty , 2 hours ago to actuallyautistic

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 266 , Saturday 20/07/2024

Got a lie in this morning as Mrs S. didn’t have to get up to go & sort her Mum out.

Kicked off around 11am for Liverpool & made good time.

Had a nice meal with my Dad & sister, the highlight of which was a delicious piece of Banoffee cake with a blob of ice cream !
Originally we were just gonna treat my Dad for his birthday & let my sister fend for herself, but it transpires that she has got herself a trendy new job so we treated her too by way of a ‘Well Done’.

It was a lovely day, there was still masking, there always is, my sister rolled out the same old tripe about “everyone is on the spectrum somewhere” I disabused her of this fallacy - she should know better she has an autistic brother & 2 autistic nephews 🙄🤦‍♂️

But other than this & her going quiet when my Dad & I were discussing the merits (or rather the lack there of ) of a right wing government it was not too bad.

We kicked off early as the weather app showed the impending rain storm, & I didn’t fancy driving home thru driving rain.

We got home just after 6pm & decided that a movie was in order to wind down. We went wild & got a copy of ‘Civil War’ which I would recommend to anyone - (over the age of 18). It was totally not what I was expecting but was a very powerful , very moving film.

Final Thoughts.

Family are fine for short periods of time, but I am relieved to be home.

It’s 8:30pm on a Saturday night & Mrs S. has retired to bed to read.

I am left alone.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

zeolith , 2 hours ago

@Tim_McTuffty @actuallyautistic

> Family are fine for a short period of time

Yep, that sums it up. You are amazing too.

zeolith , 2 hours ago

@Tim_McTuffty @actuallyautistic

Waiting for a storm to break to get the temperature down, but I will probably soon get to bed...

AnAutieAtUni , 5 hours ago to actuallyadhd

Help please 💚🙏 @actuallyautistic & @actuallyadhd family.

Reassuring words wanted (or realistic ones, but please go easy on me as I’m feeling v vulnerable right now and may take things far TOO personally):

I just - UNPLANNED - told my mum I’m autistic + ADHD.

ARGH.

I don’t think she knows what either actually are. She left soon after, seemed fairly easy going about it. But she’s a delayed processing person like me (and most probably also AuDHD) … which means this could come back and haunt me later when she tries to pathologise me like she used to. She’s in her 70s, so not necessarily up to date on any related topics.

She forgot about how hard it was to take care of me as a kid. So many meltdowns, no one knew what to do, I have tonnes of trauma from it. It was probably awful for the whole family (there’s no blame here, only facts). But she has a habit of forgetting major stuff due to major traumas in her life. I hope I didn’t just help her lift the lid on a whole tonne of crap. The words she said and the things she did back then were awful (she didn’t know, she didn’t understand back then, she was trying her best, and also I wish things were WAY better.)

And ALSO…

I am relieved to have said it. I’m hoping it’ll be a non-Thing (as in not made into a Big Thing). If I was going to tell her at some point I would have probably built it up massively, and inadvertently made it into a Big Thing. That’s kinda why I said it. She was talking about a nibling of mine possibly being autistic “or” ADHD, describing their distress, which was just like me at that age (same but different), unconsolable.

I know she loves me tonnes. I know she’s currently riding a high about my uni results and graduating. She’s literally buzzing about it all. So it’s great there are other positive ‘distractions’, if you know what I mean.

But f***!

Also…

My mum is hopeless at keeping things to herself. So I now don’t know if I should tell my brother. He has previously held massive grudges against me for being unwell (even though he was actually at fault for something unrelated, meaning he got mad at me for something HE could have avoided, not even to do with me being unwell). And HELL YES he and his wife and wider family are certainly neurodiverse in all their unique ways. This means we have a lot of potential curve balls… lots of unpredictability… I don’t want another massive grudge and anger storm from my brother. It was so brutal last time.

On the plus side, I always put my brother’s opinions on a pedestal because he managed all the life milestones at the right time and in the right order (education, family, work, house etc). I have been SO delayed. That might be why my brother’s previous grudge cut so deep. But right now I’m in a good place thanks to getting my degree.

If any of you can give some reassurances, maybe share personal experiences, etc etc etc…. Anything to stop my brain spiralling into worry and despair that would be amazing! 🙏🙏🙏

zeolith , 3 hours ago

@AnAutieAtUni @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

Hey. If you want some kind of confirmation it's going to be okay between you two, sorry I can't give you that kind of reassurance. I told my father about being #AuDHD, and it resulted in me cutting ties, almost fully.

But months after, I am getting better. The stress on having to mask, the energy it takes to contain that burning anger is gone.

I found a better understanding and deeper bonds with my siblings, especially my sister.

So, yeah, I don't know how it will play out with your family, but if it doesn't work, it's their loss, as I am deeply persuaded than you are a wonderful person. I'm proud of you.

It'll take time, but you'll get better. Trust your gut, and as the last thing I git from my therapist: "This, too, shall pass".

Don't forget you are amazing and I am proud of you.

Tim_McTuffty , 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 205 , Monday 20/05/2024

Was up till the early hours of this morning with stomach cramps after last nights daring attempt to eat scrambled eggs & beans for tea.

Spent the day getting lots of exercise up & down the stairs to take a pew, if you get my drift.

Attempted to interact on here a couple of times but my brain is apparently on sick leave so it didn’t go exactly to plan 🙄🤦‍♂️

Hopefully tomorrow will be better !

Final Thoughts.

Is the babel fish truly a fish if it spends most of its life out of water ?
This & other great questions of our age will have to wait until I can think straight!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

zeolith , 1 month ago

@Tim_McTuffty @actuallyautistic

Erf, bad news. Hope you will get better!