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@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

cvwillegen

@[email protected]

Nieuwsgierig en hulpvaardig. Vader. Hacker. #ActuallyAutistic

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Tim_McTuffty , to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 229 , Thursday 13/06/2024

A better nights sleep last nigh, although I did wake up early, had a nice chat with CDP 🧚‍♀️.

Mrs S. was in the office today & I really wasn’t feeling it this morning ,so after breakfast I went back to bed for a couple of hours.

My brain drove me out of bed just after 9am, unless I’m really quite poorly I cannot stay in bed for too long.

So I was reflecting on the meeting with the Social Prescriber yesterday & subsequent conversations with friends on here.
I wonder if I NEED to be more social than I am now. I wonder if the benefits outweigh the stress / anxiety etc. of being in a group of people.

Also the fact that any decent support is a decent distance away. (thanks UK Gov - so much for the promised improvement in MH services NOT !)

I am social to an extent, I regularly chat , laugh ,cry etc with so many lovely folk on here. Yes it is a relationship in a digital environment, but does that make it any less valid an experience?
The Fediverse is unlike any other Social Platform, it is possible to develop real friendships here & the lack of an algorithm makes for a more interactive experience!

Honestly I don’t know, when actually confronted with the help available, if it is worth pursuing.

On a more positive note I had a great banter session with several of the Peeps on here this afternoon / evening , thanks to all who participated, I enjoyed it enormously! 😊

Final Thoughts.

I never expect that I was fighting for so little, it is quite the anti-climax.
I am glad I got my diagnosis, that has helped me understand myself in ways I did not expect, & almost every day I learn something new.
Apart from anything else I found a whole group of Peeps who relate to & share experiences & challenges unique to ND folk!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

cvwillegen ,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@ScottSoCal
Also lacks the ^Z after saying something stupid or obnoxious...
@alexisbushnell @Tim_McTuffty @actuallyautistic

DivergentDumpsterPhoenix , to autisticadvocacy
@DivergentDumpsterPhoenix@disabled.social avatar

The following is a survey asking for the language preferences of Autistic and non-Autistic people regarding autism.

It is open to Autistic and non-Autistic people for the benefit of comparison.

I will also be using the preference results of Autistic people on the "neurodiversity: the basics" page of my website.

Please do fill this out and RT it, I would like to get at least 1000 responses.

Survey-
https://forms.gle/LM9gi4urTt15wkqn9

@neurodiversity @actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy

cvwillegen ,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@DivergentDumpsterPhoenix
Some of these questions made me go "Hmmmmm...". Indeed, why do we use "disorder" instead of "condition". "Disorder" implies a malfunction, "condition" implies a state of being.
@neurodiversity @actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy

ChrisMayLA6 , to random
@ChrisMayLA6@zirk.us avatar

Hurrah... good sense breaks out in the as the 'Waitrose of the North', Booths begins to get rid of self-service check-outs.

Given the price premium at Booths, we (the customers) want the social interaction with staff at the checkouts, not be told to 'scan & bag'!

More importantly, not only do checkouts provide regular local employment, they are also for many semi-isolated shoppers a key bit of rare social interaction... so a welcome reverse!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-67373472

cvwillegen ,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@dweebish
I scan all product bar codes whenever I put something in my cart/bag/crate, and I only need to pay at the self checkout. Saves me a lot of time!
@ChrisMayLA6 @Greenseer @actuallyautistic @RolloTreadway

ScottSoCal , to actuallyautistic
@ScottSoCal@computerfairi.es avatar

@actuallyautistic

Looking for recommendations: what do you do when you get stuck figuring out what emotion(s) you're feeling?

My mother died a few days ago. Our relationship was toxic, and we haven't spoken for years. I know I'm feeling something, from the tense crackling inside, but I don't know what it is.

cvwillegen ,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@obrerx
My father's death gave me the first indication that something was "wrong", because I didn't grieve like "normal people".
@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic

AutisticAdam , to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

Autistic me:

Loves books but does not have the mental stamina to sit and read a book from start to finish for hours on end. So instead consumes short-form content online for hours and hours.

Yeah because this makes sense...

@actuallyautistic

cvwillegen ,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@daedalousilios

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

AutisticAdam , (edited ) to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

"You can’t be autistic - you can make eye contact!”

Being autistic doesn’t mean I can’t make eye contact, rather that eye contact can be painful and overstimulating for me. Yet, I make it because I have to. If I didn’t, many would be hurt/angry, and I’d face further ostracism. Thanks for your pointless comment anyway from someone that clearly doesn't know what you're talking about.

@actuallyautistic

cvwillegen ,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@tdelmas @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic yup. Because of (progressive) lung problems, I now need a wheelchair (or scoot mobile (?)) when I need to go distances of over about 300m. You wouldn't believe people's reactions sometimes. Yes, I need it to get about, but not to stand up and walk small distances!

thequirkybraincoach , (edited ) to actuallyautistic
@thequirkybraincoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

I've been writing about masking and the impact on your zest this morning.

When we are authentic, what we present to the world mostly matches what we think and feel on the inside.

The pain, effort, challenge and consequences of masking come from when the gulf between who we are inside and how we go about in the public sphere is too wide to cope with.

I would never advise that anyone just "rip off" their metaphorical mask and do it without consideration for a safe, gentle, do-able way to do it.

Many people have told me - and this was also my experience - that once the mask is off, it's off and it's kind of not going back on again!

Therefore, if you desire to unmask, then it's best done gently and intentionally.

It's also important to note that in some places in the world and in some social contexts, it is easier and safer for some people to unmask than others. I acknowledge my own privilege as a white, CIS-gender woman in this respect. That is why I am always sensitive to what is safe and possible within personal contexts when it comes to discussing masking with clients.

In any case, I often find that people who are later-discovered and have masked extensively for years even mask at home, on their own. Sometimes, they don't know who their authentic self is and have lost touch with who they are "at heart".

Therefore, it's usually safe enough to start your unmasking journey by getting to know yourself now you know more about your brain. That's where a lot of my work begins.

If you know your tendencies, preferences, cognitive style, communication needs, and sensory profile, for example, it's a lot easier to have that intentional discussion about if/when you can begin to unmask...perhaps in the privacy of your own home at first.

@actuallyautistic

cvwillegen ,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@thequirkybraincoach @actuallyautistic this hits SO close to home! I recently told a psychiatrist (who leads the mental health Institute I visit a target/discussion/support group every 2 weeks) that "we" needed the group so much, and for an unspecified amount of time, "because you can't shovel off 40 years of shit in a couple of weeks". I'm also trying to find myself with a helper, I have no idea who I am and what/how to feel!

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

How did my comrades understand that they're autistic?

How old were you?

@actuallyautistic

cvwillegen ,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic my wife suspected me of such. I got a test, but 'failed' (probably because of 'not enough' problems in childhood. A few years later, I passed (probably because this time they also interviewed my wife).I was 48 years old. A lot has changed over the last 40 years if I compare current knowledge and support with what would have been possible 40 years ago...

AutisticAdam , to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

Finding out that I have spent my life scripting things to say just to make other people happy and make social interactions go "smoothly" at the cost of my own mental health, personal integrity, and self-identity is an masked Autistic experience.

@actuallyautistic

cvwillegen ,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@bytebro @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic phone calls, discussions, stories, all the time. Usually ends up in a "bad alley", so I don't speak up...

cvwillegen , to actuallyautistic Dutch
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

Sometimes, NT behavior can be really dangerous for ND people! I was told to use an inhaler for my lungs. "Exhale, inhale deeply, hold your breath for 10 seconds, exhale, and rinse your throat." After falling to the floor twice from losing consciousness, I contacted my doctor. He told me that "we say 10s, because then people hold their breath for 7, which is enough. But, knowing you, you hold it for 10, which may lead to fainting. So, hold your breath for 7 s". Great... @actuallyautistic

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