Frances_Larina

Dr_Obvious , 8 months ago to actuallyautistic German

@actuallyautistic
Is it a common #autistic trait to have the urge to share experiences?

Like as a kid coming from camping, I would give my mom a daylong report about all the things that happened in details.

Or know when I read something interesting I have to show it to my wife. Or when we meet after work I have to let out all the stuff that happened at that very second.

18+ Frances_Larina , 8 months ago

@Dr_Obvious @actuallyautistic

We bond via storytelling. Cultures have done that since forever. I find it very odd that modern NT-centric culture does not.

18+ Frances_Larina , 8 months ago

@Dr_Obvious @odo2063 @actuallyautistic

Listening for us can be both a soothing stim and a way for us to connect to each other.

theautisticcoach , 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

Do my #ActuallyAutistic comrades find themselves masking even with their therapists, coaches, or counselors?

If so, more than usual? Less? Why do you think that is?

If not, why do you think that you don’t?

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic

18+ Frances_Larina , 8 months ago

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic

Therapy to me has always felt like such a contrived situation-environment. Plus, therapists tend to be very high-social-needs people & thus very NT. So in response, I'd mask for better results. They've always seemed to prefer it.

kkffoo , 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic
Baking can be really good for me in terms of re-regulating myself, so long as I have enough energy. Mince pies I made this morning, photographed by my lovely daughter.

18+ Frances_Larina , 9 months ago

@kkffoo @actuallyautistic

They look so delicious - and pretty! I'm glad you found something that works good for regulating. 🙂

PurpleStephyr , 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

I've always hated interview questions like "What's your biggest weakness?" I think I understand now. All my answers to this question are autistic traits, and I don't actually consider any of them to be weaknesses. I'm blunt, I take things literally, or I don't like misrepresenting data. None of these are weaknesses, they're just part of who I am! Maybe the next time I get that question in an interview, I'll just tell them that it's an ableist question because they're expecting me to belittle myself.

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

18+ Frances_Larina , 9 months ago

@estellechauvelin @PurpleStephyr @actuallyautistic

This is the correct answer, at least in part and if it can be condensed into a single sentence.

Susan60 , 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

Question. Some dogs can tell if a person has cancer, presumably by their smell. Does anyone think that some autistic people might be more sensitive to such changes in body chemistry? Not as much as a dog, but more than most other people? @actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic

Frances_Larina , 9 months ago

@Susan60 @actuallyautistic

The theory that I subscribe to is that we don't necessarily have super noses, but rather we have much lower sensory thresholds for perception. So it comes down to whether dogs have olfactory receptors that humans do not. Anecdotally, when my estrogen is high my sense of scent is like the difference between a black & white photo and a full color hologram.

theautisticcoach , 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

How did my #ActuallyAutistic comrades come to know that they’re autistic?

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic

Frances_Larina , 9 months ago

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic

We took my daughter in when she was 5-ish, but the head assessor would only focus on her gender. That led us into delaying getting her younger sibling Dx'd but eventually we did so. We thought it would be useful for school. That turned out to not be true, as IEP meetings are a lot like meeting with corporate HR. Anywho, we went back with our daughter at that point and she was easily Dx'd as the head assessor had retired and then my spouse & I both said, "wait; could we also be?".

spika , 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

I saw a post on another social network that felt a little aggressive about people needing to learn to use tone tags (to which most of the replies were people who had never encountered a tone tag), and I found myself wondering... Do #ActuallyAutistic folks find this useful?

Honestly, I have a hard time remembering what they all mean much less use them as an indicator of what tone I should be applying to what I'm reading or writing.

@actuallyautistic

Frances_Larina , 9 months ago (edited 8 months ago)

@spika @nddev @IPmonger @actuallyautistic

To me it looks like the expansion of a handful that popped up on Xitter & Tumblr first as a short list (see below) in Oct of 2020.

By December, the NYT ran with a ridiculously expanded list, pushing hard that they were "originally for neurodiverse people but anyone can use them".

October 2020 list:
/j (joke)
/hj (half joking)
/lh (lighthearted)
/s (sarcasm)
/g or /gen (genuine)
/p (platonic)
/srs (serious)
/lyr (lyrics)
/c (copypasta)
/q (quote)

The small, basic list of maybe five or six entries has been around as long as emoji, as in "ever since email headers had to be typed in by hand on a green screen mainframe terminal".

The big aggressive push came after the NYT article and I'm not convinced it was ever requested by actual ND's.

russellmcormond , 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

Asking @actuallyautistic

We have all heard the phrase: "You are either with us, or against us".

I've observed for many people, given that choice, they will not want to be perceived as against anyone so will claim they are "with".

I don't believe very many real-world scenarios are binary, so I see this as a logical fallacy https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/black-or-white .

If forced into that binary, I will always say "against" given I reject the question itself.

Is that an #Autism thing, or is that just me?

Frances_Larina , 9 months ago

@russellmcormond @actuallyautistic

It's been my observation that NT social interactions and therefore NT culture are very much based on whether or not a person is considered - however transitory - to be a member of the in-group rather than, "other".

PossiblyAutistic , 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

Let's try the AQ, at https://embrace-autism.com/autism-spectrum-quotient/#test

@actuallyautistic

Frances_Larina , 9 months ago

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic

I love to do things with others if it's more like body doubling or parallel play. If we're all working toward a common goal there's already a social structure in place.

Frances_Larina , 9 months ago

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic

I mean, reusable code is doing the same thing over and over again only in that case it's seen as a good thing. It all depends on the perspective of the person doing the judging. Maybe they mean, "actions that serve no other purpose other than to be an enjoyable stim"?

Frances_Larina , 9 months ago

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic

I've met autistics who are amazing at it, and I've met those for whom it's impossible. That question always feels like a relic from an ignorant psychology past?

Frances_Larina , 9 months ago

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic

I've always wanted a follow up question of, "diagnostic statements with absolutes that are not actually intended to be absolute bother me"

Frances_Larina , 9 months ago

@independentpen @PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic

Right? Museums are amazing and wonderful on a day when they are nearly deserted. On days when a new exhibit has just opened and it's all over the local media? Forget it, that's like going to a theme park. The question becomes invalid when it's compared to reality, but that's because NT's think more in tokens.

Susan60 , 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

Okay late diagnosed & older autists. What do we do when we retire? I’m reasonably social, in a purpose driven way if that makes sense. My “special interests” have usually revolved around my current stage &/or work - parenting, studies, teaching etc. Retirement as a special interest? @actuallyautistic

Frances_Larina , 9 months ago

@Susan60 @actuallyautistic

The cliché is birdwatching. And gardening, can't forget that one. Sewing. Taking classes. Some travel, but it's a bad fit for many of my NT traits. Still, to do so in a way that fits me would be fun.