Adventurer

neversosimple , 27 days ago to actuallyautistic

Think I need a sleeping mask.

Earplugs has helped my sleep a lot already, (even tho they itch at times) but light is also an issue.

Any sleeping mask recommendations, regarding sensory sensitivities and all?

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

Adventurer , 27 days ago

@neversosimple @actuallyautistic
I have the music cozy brand from Amazon. I used to be able to make them work for side sleeping and they were perfect. Except after 7 months they started to hurt one night and now I look at them and feel pain. There is a little wiggle room to move the speakers. They are not that expensive and they can be returned. I am looking at a very expensive pair $143 US for the manta sleep. It is a ridiculous price to pay for what it is but it seems to check all my boxes and the video reviews on YouTube good.

LehtoriTuomo , 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

Some remarks of a conference from my newly-found autistic perspective.

1. I stimmed away through the conference in so many ways. Made my being there way more relaxed. Also noticed how many just kept staring at the speaker/slides. Neurotypical way, which I've struggled with earlier, not understanding why.

2. I don't have to understand everything of a talk to be able to follow it. Earlier, I've been so concerned about following the talk that if I've lost bits of it, I've had big difficulties getting back onboard. Now, with a more relaxed mindset, I was able to get back in several times.

3. I don't have to try to follow a talk if I don't find it interesting enough. In a way, I've understood this before, but now I gave myself a permission.

4. Apart from the first poster session, I simply skipped the next ones. They've always been the worst part of conferences for me. Too many people, need to chat, difficulty of hearing.

5. I've never been at the conferences for networking. Now I didn't even try. Of course, I'm finally at such stage of my career that I don't have to. The pressure to network was so big when I was a young researcher.

6. I spent quite some time alone in my hotel room. Didn't go sight-seeing. I don't have to if I don't want to.

7. The conference itself was quite enjoyable now that I approached it more from my own direction.

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

Adventurer , 1 month ago

@LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic
Sounds like a much better experience. And true to yourself.

Just this week I went to a movie and decided I was bored half way so I left. It really felt like a true to me decision.

chevalier26 , 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic Do y'all know if it's an autistic trait to be super skeptical of stuff? Like, for example, my parents watch some questionable "health" people on YouTube, and when they show me a video from said people, I can tell IMMEDIATELY that they are grifters in it for money. Idk what gives it away but it's like a flashing warning sign in my brain.

I wonder if it has to do with social influence and the effects of charisma/agreeableness that NDs might not fall for.

Adventurer , 1 month ago

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
My mom was really into Oprah and Dr OZ and every scam for losing weight or looking younger. None of these applied to me when I was younger so I never once thought about them.

As I aged I gained some weight and had trouble losing it. I decided to try the latest Dr Oz craze of raspberry ketones. Keep in mind I never watched the show. I decided to give it a try and bought some. Then I looked into it. Most raspberry ketones are artificial. Immediately discounting Dr Oz claims. The quantity of raspberries needed to make actual raspberry ketones was extremely large making the cost of real ones exorbitant. I don't recall exact but for example $100,000 for an ounce.

This made me very skeptical of all claims. Even standing in the pharmacy and seeing all the bottles of stuff with no FDA approval, even probiotics, makes me concerned we have no idea what it is.

The moon landing debunk show was well done. That one got me for a while. Noone going back since 69 helped question It.

Adventurer , 1 month ago

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
My sister got into a fringe account and started giving my mom silver colloidal to treat her cancer. If I were in your situation I would be checking treatments he suggests. I recently read some bad things about tumeric in high doses and I know my sister uses it as a cure all.

pathfinder , 3 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

No matter how well I learnt to mask, no matter how well I learnt to get on with people, if not in any deep and meaningful way, at least superficially. There has always been one skill that I have never mastered and that is simply the ability to not upset people and especially without having the slightest idea how.

Or that I didn't for a long time, anyway. It was only when I realised that I was autistic and that the way I looked at the world was in some ways substantively different from the way many allistics looked at the world, that I began to understand something. Allistics tend to find validation externally, through feedback from the group or the part of society that they identify with, whereas autistics tend to find it within themselves, in their own reason and sense of worth and value.

Now I must stress that in many respects this is a generalisation and obviously there will be a lot of variation and degree in how true this is. But in its more extreme forms, it could very well explain many of the experiences and difficulties that I've had.

Because if someone's self-worth, the value they see in their life and actions, is almost entirely based on their interactions with the dynamics of the group they identify with, or the society they live within and not from their own judgement, then this could lead to certain choices and reactions that are quite frankly alien to someone like me and that I could easily end up in conflict with and all without really trying to.

For example, if the value of a child reflects back on its parents. Then in the extreme case the values and behaviour expected from that child, are not those of the child, but of the parents in terms of the group the child is meant to be representing them in and how well it is doing that. So any sense of divergence from that or criticism of that child, no matter how slight that might be, could easily be seen as an attack on the parents and reacted to accordingly, irrespective of how reasonable or just it was.

Equally, of course, worth, praise, or rewards, can also become divorced from any sense of reality. All that matters is that you, whether that's through your children or not, are being valued, not whether there is any justice to it. Because the truth or validity of it, is not based on how you see yourself, but only on how others see you. And in the extreme case, it doesn't even matter how they came to this view, as long as they have it. So worth can become something to be manipulated and played for and how you really are and how you actually feel about yourself becomes almost irrelevant to this process.

That people could even be this way, that everything could become how you're being perceived and anything that effects that negatively can be something to be attacked, is still something that I struggle to understand. It is so foreign to my nature. But, it certainly explains so many of the times that I've upset people, because I wasn't playing this game, or seeing the world the way I should and didn't even realise it.

#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic

Adventurer , 3 months ago

@pathfinder @actuallyautistic
Thanks for writing this. I somehow managed to annoy people with no explanation. Like words aren't even exchanged. I don't know if I am projecting an attitude unconsciously, if I have a resting b*tch face, or I have an invisible sign that requests getting bullied. When a couple of things happen I can handle it and let it go, but not forever.

Dr_Obvious , 3 months ago to actuallyautistic German

@actuallyautistic
When it comes to #autism awareness and false stereotypes an important topic is autistic woman that were ignored to exist for a long time.

When people talk about that they often refer to "female autism" or "female representation". That often focusses on higher level of masking and deep compensation in social skills.

I find that sometimes irritating because I kind of see myself in that description. On the other hand there are woman that show rather stereotypical traits.

Adventurer , 3 months ago

@brandon @vger @Dr_Obvious @actuallyautistic
Hi. I would like to join this conversation. I am a mid fifties self diagnosed in the last year.

My knowledge is limited so please give me grace and an explanation if I say something offensive.

I went to college 20 years ago and don't remember exact details of topics, just generalizations and I acknowledge research may have changed.

My major was human development with an emphasis on women's studies. I believe many studies showed explicit differences in how male and female children are raised and mentored especially in schools. Women and men teachers both held girl students to one standard and boys to another. Boys more often shouted answers, even wrong answers and were encouraged. When girls gave a wrong answer they were treated as stupid and experienced more shame. Minority children were more likely to be punished harshly for minor infractions compared to white children.

If I am correct and I believe I am I think the shame factor and punishment factor

ScruffyDux , 6 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic If the device you're using allows it, try setting your display to grayscale mode. I've been using it, combined with a "night mode" / "eye comfort" warm tone, and holy shit is it a massive relief.

Apparently #Autistic people are more sensitive to blue light, and I know I can really feel the difference. Give it a go.

Adventurer , 6 months ago

@ScruffyDux @actuallyautistic
Thank you for saying this. I make my husband buy only warm lights and I keep my phone in the warm mode. I didn't know why.

finnbar_m , 6 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic As an autistic person, how do you stop people from controlling you?

When masking all the time, where do you draw a line between making the necessary effort to socially survive and being a pushover? I'm already putting in extra effort that NTs don't have to.

Where does masking stop, and being "clingy" and overcompensating start?

#autism #autistic #neurodivergent

Adventurer , 6 months ago

@CadeTheCat @finnbar_m @actuallyautistic great response

housepanther , 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic Do other people with #autism have difficulty this time of year? For me this is one of the loneliest times of the year. I struggle with my mental health during the holiday season.

Adventurer , 8 months ago

@servelan @housepanther @actuallyautistic
Less daylight hours and more cloudy cover causes many people in all walks of life to experience seasonal affective disorder or (SAD). I never thought about the reduction of vitamin D because of this.

Susan60 , 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic Has anyone heard from.., can’t remember her name & can’t find… Mikoada? Concerned.

Adventurer , 8 months ago

@Susan60 @actuallyautistic
@hellomiakoda
Reaching out. I am going to be back in Portland around the 12th or 13th. I live in NW. I am a married woman in my 50s but I stay alone in pdx. If you need anything please feel free to reach out.

magicalgrrrl , 8 months ago to random

#ActuallyAutistic community!

How do I make friends as an adult? I'm new to my area and don't have any local friends or community. Have been struggling with loneliness a lot lately.

Adventurer , 8 months ago

@MickG59 @magicalgrrrl @actuallyautistic
I think they are saying that they are queer and find many people in the autistic community queer and therefore feel more at home in this community. Sort of like saying I am into ________ and I am autistic and I find a lot of people into ________in the autistic crowd so I am more comfortable here than just in the __________ crowd.

Susan60 , 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

Question. Some dogs can tell if a person has cancer, presumably by their smell. Does anyone think that some autistic people might be more sensitive to such changes in body chemistry? Not as much as a dog, but more than most other people? @actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic

Adventurer , 8 months ago

@Susan60 @actuallyautistic
I have a strong sense of smell and can notice odor changes but I don't always know what exactly is different.

aloopapu , 9 months ago (edited 8 months ago) to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic what are the spoons I see referenced frequently?

Adventurer , 8 months ago

@aloopapu @actuallyautistic
Spoons is a reference to energy levels. Google spoons and forks autism.

theautisticcoach , 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

Good morning #ActuallyAutistic comrades.

For the next 24 hours, go ahead and ASK ME ANYTHING.

Autism, history, food, spirituality, coffee, gardening, home design, torah, mindfulness, or anything in between!

I'm at your disposal.

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic

Adventurer , 9 months ago

@brainpilgrim @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
Thank you

Adventurer , 9 months ago

@brainpilgrim @stina_marie @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
I have a similar story about ADD

I had a diagnosis from my teen years that never felt right. I did not fit into the peer group with the same diagnosis. I constantly had my friends say I was at minimum ADD. So I decided to ask my shrink about checking me. He asked me if I did well in school. I said yes. He said I wasn't ADD then.

I fit in with my ADD friends but finally feel at home listening to my autistic and audhd peers.

It is truly amazing to go from feeling like a weird person who is better off alone to finding out I am just different from NTs, not the entire population.