Did you know that October is #adhdawarenessmonth ? Hi, It’s Me ! I have ADHD is a great book to explain to children and adults what Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is.
I've been writing about masking and the impact on your zest this morning.
When we are authentic, what we present to the world mostly matches what we think and feel on the inside.
The pain, effort, challenge and consequences of masking come from when the gulf between who we are inside and how we go about in the public sphere is too wide to cope with.
I would never advise that anyone just "rip off" their metaphorical mask and do it without consideration for a safe, gentle, do-able way to do it.
Many people have told me - and this was also my experience - that once the mask is off, it's off and it's kind of not going back on again!
Therefore, if you desire to unmask, then it's best done gently and intentionally.
It's also important to note that in some places in the world and in some social contexts, it is easier and safer for some people to unmask than others. I acknowledge my own privilege as a white, CIS-gender woman in this respect. That is why I am always sensitive to what is safe and possible within personal contexts when it comes to discussing masking with clients.
In any case, I often find that people who are later-discovered and have masked extensively for years even mask at home, on their own. Sometimes, they don't know who their authentic self is and have lost touch with who they are "at heart".
Therefore, it's usually safe enough to start your unmasking journey by getting to know yourself now you know more about your brain. That's where a lot of my work begins.
If you know your tendencies, preferences, cognitive style, communication needs, and sensory profile, for example, it's a lot easier to have that intentional discussion about if/when you can begin to unmask...perhaps in the privacy of your own home at first.
Morning, all!
Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to appear on SalesTV this morning.
I am talking about neurodivergence in sales, and how sales leaders can support their neurodivergent team members, as well as ideas for how to support yourself to deal with your workplace needs in sales.
If you want to work with me and see me in this setup, then the next chance is my emotional regulation workshop on the 27th of October at 7.15pm.
We'll talk about
what emotional regulation is
how emotional regulation/dysregulation can show up for ADHD and autistic adults
the kind of relationship you'd like to have to your emotions
one recommendation I can give for starting off a journey of emotional regulation
your mini-action plan for relating to your emotions in the way you'd prefer
We don't demonise any emotions (it can zap zest to do so) and I take a compassionate and accepting approach.
You get a free pdf workbook 3 days before the workshop to allow you to reflect and prepare, and understand more about the session. Captions will be on. You have your camera off if you need, and communication is through the chatbox, so no one needs to speak. We will also keep session confidentiality, and no recordings of you are sent out.
So if you'd like to see and experience your emotions in a slightly different way, this could be the session for you.
You get to work with a trained coach (me) for 1hr 15 minutes for just £15.
Having both #autism and #ADHD really sucks because you need some kind of structure and routine in order to function, yet you are unable to sustain it. @actuallyautistic
Once you realized you were autistic, did you encounter overwhelming and overloading situations that you remembered "dealing" with much better before you learned you were autistic? Like learning you were autistic somehow changed how you processed these kinds of situations?
I'd love to (and frankly, need to) hear your stories. Please share if you're comfortable 💚🙏
@dave@actuallyautistic My beloved self-id his autism. As far as I could see he then became much more autistic which was both worrying to me and difficult for our relationship. When I realised that he had just stopped masking, it made it much easier to understand.
Communication can be difficult but is vital, as we learn to accept and assist each other's unmasked persona. We will be doing that as we age anyway, as we become less mobile, etc.
My discovery of my own #ADHD has not helped.
I had a powerful realisation about why I need to lean more into my authentic self this week.
Some of you will be aware that two of my deep interests in coaching psychology are the qualities of zest and self-regulation.
Zest relates to your motivation, energy, mojo, "vim and vigour", and a feeling of alive-ness.
Self-regulation is all about the structures, habits, principles and self-care practices you put into place in your life to feel more balanaced and settled in yourself.
A third interest is demonstrating in both theory and practice that the latter creates the former.
That is to say, if you regulate yourself, it can boost your zest.
It doesn't seem like rocket science when I put it like that, but I am the only coaching psychologist currently to say this explicitly and to be developing a theoretical framework on this - and one that can be useful and inclusive in coaching people like us.
But what I've been doing is hiding this.
I have been too scared that people won't be interested or won't find this information valuable.
As such, I've not been sharing my ideas with you - the very people they could help - to the fullest extent.
I've also had an emotional block around actually producing and publishing my research, and around writing a book - something I have always wanted to do but have not yet put into action.
Thanks to a powerful coaching conversation of my own at the weekend, I have decided to draw a line in the sand and stop hiding my autistic research interests for fear of what others will think.
I will be more authentic and, as a result, happier for being and expressing my true self more. On balance, as long as it is safe to do so, we feel better in our skin when our insides match our public outsides. Currently, this is not true for me - I am hiding parts of myself that are important to me, and it's holding me back as a researcher and a coach.
So what this all means for you lovely people on a practical level is that I'll be talking and writing much more about zest, self-regulation, and the connection between the two.
If you're low on energy and motivation, and feel this would be of interest to you, I'd love to hear below...it'll give me a sense that there are people who will benefit from more honest and open sharing of the research I do.
Over the coming months, you'll see me change my branding messages, newsletters, and blog posts to reflect more content on the topics of zest and self-regulation for neurodivergent people...and how we can foster these safely and accessibly in coaching work.
It starts today. I'm drawing the line in the sand.
Wish me luck and continued bravery on this journey! And let me know if this special focus might be of use to you!
Becci (The Neurodivergent Zest and Self-Regulation Coach...wow, I've actually said it!)
I had a wonderful day with my oldest yesterday. We talked our heads,off, constantly distracted each other by going off on tangents, & compared notes on our experiences & observations of neurodiversity. (We’re both teachers.) They surprised by saying that they first noticed signs of my autism, without realising what it was, in their teens. Makes a lot of sense really, but wow! @actuallyautistic#ADHD
This tweet was shared to me this morning as a nod towards something I’m well known for doing—I’m grateful this happens a little less as I get older. #audhd#adhd@audhd@Adhdinos@actuallyautistics
I'm trying out a higher dose of my #ADHD medication.
Yesterday, I took it at 8:30am, finished my cup of tea, sneezed, then glanced over at the clock again and saw that it was suddenly 4:45pm.
And instead of doing the work I was supposed to have done, I appear to have re-created 'Potato Jesus' as a stained-glass window. #audhd#neurodivergent@actuallyadhd @actuallyaudhd
Have you ever been "warned" about a certain deadline for paperwork or payment with the threat of a monetary penalty, and thinking not having to worry about the paperwork in the first place would be worth whatever the penalty is you ask how much it would be and if you could just pay it up front, just to be looked at as if you were flaunting your wealth, when in reality you're broke, exhausted and frustrated enough to go into debt rather than worry about some bureaucrat's idea of social order?
On World Mental Health Day, don't forget that I have a short and (I'm told) interesting podcast episode on neurodivergence and mental health.
Take a look if you've got 12 minutes to spare to build your understanding of how mental health can show up for different brains, and to reflect on what you want and need.
Study linking poor clearance of BPA with Autism and ADHD. They are not claiming that this is a cause, though there is some speculation in this article.
“The research found that kids with ASD and ADHD couldn't clear out BPA and another similar compound called Diethylhexyl Phthalate (DEHP) with as much efficiency as other kids, potentially leading to longer exposure to their toxic effects.”
The research found that kids with ASD and ADHD couldn't clear out BPA and another similar compound called Diethylhexyl Phthalate (DEHP) with as much efficiency as other kids, potentially leading to longer exposure to their toxic effects.
IF these compounds are more prevalent recently, and IF the toxic effects are what cause the ADHD symptoms, THEN we might end up with newly ADHD adults who don't get diagnosed as such because there is no childhood history of such.
I feel a fixation on work brewing. I had trouble getting to sleep last night because I couldn't stop thinking about a thing I'm working on right now at work.
The last fixation I had lasted four solid months, from March to June.
Usually they burn me out really badly... so much so that it often takes months to recover and I'm hard pressed to remember having more than one fixation a year.
So... another one coming on within a couple of months feels exceptional, and that's kind of interesting in itself, especially given that the last couple of months since the last one ended have been spent better understanding myself as being #ActuallyAutistic.
The other interesting thing is how I'm developing the ability to see the signs ahead of time. I'm still not sure what to do with it though... let it run its course, try and regulate it, ...?
The single best way to support neurodivergent people, in the workplace and in life, is to educate yourself about the different forms of neurodivergence.
Learn about the needs, strengths, weaknesses, tendencies, perspectives, and, most importantly, lived experiences of neurodivergent people.
The right way to do this is to listen to neurodivergent people. Follow us on social media. Read our blogs. Get to know us IRL. If you aren't listening to us, you aren't learning about us; you are only learning other people's opinions about us.
As with any minority group, learning about neurodivergent people will force you to reassess many assumptions about people and society that you don't even realize you hold. You will grow as a person. And that is exactly what we need from you.
Imagine a young person is looking for help because they are having difficulties navigating life for reasons stemming from an undiagnosed neurodivergence. They go to a youth mental health service for help developing coping strategies for X barrier they are facing.
If they were given a resource that contained strategies to try while they’re on a waiting list, what would expect the boilerplate tools to be?