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programmer_humor

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Antaeus , in dotnet developer

That’s hilarious!

Sanctus , in dotnet developer
@Sanctus@lemmy.world avatar

I can, but due to the extra strains involved the price of this contract will increase.

MagicShel ,

How many strains does it take to develop using .net? Are we talking high end or ditch weed?

NoLifeKing ,

We talk about 2 bottles of Cuban Rum and 3 packs of sour gummy worms on top of the pay.

Feathercrown ,

Sour? That’s top quality, you drive a hard bargain

uphillbothways ,
@uphillbothways@kbin.social avatar

You think that now... Wait 'til I bargain a hard drive.

Feathercrown ,

I’ll trade you two soft drives for it

Gork , in dotnet developer

No, you’ll need to contact Kim Dotcom. I am merely Kim Dotnet.

mikidep OP , in We did this to ourselves

Op here back from the dead. This is in fact not a stab at dynamically typed languages, or at least not only: statically typed languages such as Java also support this kind of construct. In fact, one could develop a technically type safe programming language where an instanceof construct has sound semantics.

What instanceof breaks is something called polymorphic parametricity, i.e. the fact that generic functions don’t know anything specific about the types they are generic over. This is the fundamental condition for what in the community is dubbed “theorems for free”, that is, naturality of generic functions between generic types.

SVcross , in Bartender Qualifications
@SVcross@lemmy.world avatar

It is because you’ll be the Ender of Barts.

Sigh_Bafanada , in Bartender Qualifications

Sideshow Bob got a CS degree and now people are looking to hire him as a BartEnder

JonEFive ,

Die Bart die

phorq ,

Translation from German: The Bart the

chahk , in Bartender Qualifications

Two software developers walk into a bar…

Omega_Jimes , in Bartender Qualifications

Those interests usually mean you have good experience with alcohol.

ICastFist ,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

And serving irish coffee, I suppose

Cold_Brew_Enema , in Bartender Qualifications

Is SQL not a good skill to have? I’m an extremely strong sql writer in a senior position, but was going to test the waters soon.

1couchpotato ,

Sounds like you’re almost qualified to be a bartender

Cold_Brew_Enema ,

Well that’s good news. Thanks!

psud ,

Your username sounds like a way to become very caffeinated

MonsiuerPatEBrown , in Bartender Qualifications

people with art degrees are horrified.

stay in your lane, software people!

viking ,
@viking@infosec.pub avatar

I thought art majors are designate taxi drivers.

rgb3x3 ,

They’re the baristas. Because at least they can make latte art while they scrounge for tips from the tip jar.

supercriticalcheese ,

CS is a different art but still artistic

xmunk , in Bartender Qualifications

Wait… they want someone skilled in HTML/CSS, Javascript and SQL?!?

I hope to fuck they’re using a node backend otherwise… the client scripts running in the browser are assembling SQL?

joyjoy ,

<span style="color:#323232;">SELECT * FROM drinks WHERE alccontent > 0.15 AND type = "wine" AND vintageyear < 2010 LIMIT 1;
</span><span style="color:#323232;">DROP TABLE drinks;
</span>
dan ,
@dan@upvote.au avatar

The SQL knowledge might be for analytical (OLAP) rather than transactional queries in which case it’d be entirely separate to the website work. Maybe the design of the site would change based on how people are currently using it, and they want someone that can look at rhe data? I’m unsure.

Ascend910 ,

They want you to train their latest AI bartender

MisterNeon , in Bartender Qualifications
@MisterNeon@lemmy.world avatar

As a front end developer this makes me want to drink.

frezik ,

As a backend devleoper, it makes me want to blame a frontend developer for how much I drink.

MisterNeon ,
@MisterNeon@lemmy.world avatar

We both know it’s the project manager that drives us to the bottle.

UxyIVrljPeRl ,

Imiss my last manager, he bought the bottle.

MisterNeon ,
@MisterNeon@lemmy.world avatar

I’m seeing at least 4 people that need to get full stack drunk together.

pacofrommexico ,

This exchange warms my heart

SnipingNinja ,

I’m not a developer of any ends, but I would love to join you lot in getting drunk, I have some experience with computers and understand very basic terms, so there won’t be any issues here

psud ,

I’m a scrum master. Drinking now. A lot

blindbunny , in Bartender Qualifications

This is why I deleted my indeed

Skullgrid ,
@Skullgrid@lemmy.world avatar

You guys are making profiles for job sites and not just applying to companies listing there?

blindbunny ,

I’m an uneducated pleb with a certain set of skills. But you are correct

tsonfeir ,
@tsonfeir@lemm.ee avatar

My current job came from tossing my profile up on indeed. My previous one from Dice, one before that from an agent who found me online.

I prefer they come to me.

JoMiran , in Bartender Qualifications
@JoMiran@lemmy.ml avatar

SPOILER ALERT: Bartender is a software application used to read large number of barcodes, QR codes, RFID, etc. at high speed.

Bonehead ,

While that may be true, this is still likely an automated response built by a script that found some keywords on your profile. I still get the occasional proposition for RPG work, and I haven't touched an AS/400 in over a 20 years which my profile reflects. I haven't even touched my profile in years. But the script doesn't care about that. That's for the HR rep to filter out later if you respond.

JagFel ,

Why you are no doubt correct; as someone who’s had to support a BarTender based automated print system in a manufacturing company, this skillet need doesn’t surprise me at all and is part of why the software gave me a drinking problem.

kautau ,

So you’re saying it would help to have both a bartender, and a bartender specialist on the team. Seems like we might be doing the bot a disservice here

JagFel ,

Another example of corporate cost cutting, making the employees serve their own drinks.

theneverfox ,
@theneverfox@pawb.social avatar

I’m still getting weekly emails (and who knows how many linked in messages) trying to recruit me over a profile I haven’t updated in a decade…aka 2 years after I entered the industry

One of these days, I’m going to set up my AI assistant to respond. Who knows, with an even playing field maybe some of them will be worthwhile

Aatube ,
@Aatube@kbin.social avatar

For North Italia, a pizzeria?

Also, I looked it up and the software has a capitalized T.

psud ,

Southern Italy is better at pizza. Florence is about the best

SkippingRelax ,

Southern Italy is better at pizza, we all agree atelier all that’s where pizza comes from. Florence is not in the south however, you might have had a good pizza, you can eat very good pizza everywhere in Italy. That said general consensus is Naples is where you want to go for the good good shit.

psud ,

You’re correct. I was confusing the two cities

some_guy ,

Hey, don’t you come round here messing up a funny misunderstanding with FACTS.

RisingSwell ,

Shit I want that, my work breaks if I scan two items in one second

AgentGrimstone ,

Unfortunate name. Is Bartender well known in the programming world? I wonder if they have trouble getting candidates.

emuspawn ,
@emuspawn@orbiting.observer avatar

It’s fairly known in the Enterprise IT world; like others say, it does induce drinking.

psud ,

Gotta stay at the Ballmer peak

MashedTech ,

North Italia doesn’t seem to be a software company.

ipkpjersi ,

But… North Italia is a pizzeria?

https://i.imgur.com/hGdZhGz.png

Natanael ,

Warehouse management?

Flipper , in Bartender Qualifications

It all depends on the amount they are willing to give me.

tsonfeir ,
@tsonfeir@lemm.ee avatar

For my salary, I’d rather be a bartender.

Patches ,

Only work 3 days per week and very short shifts. Your day ends exactly when you clock out. There is no work to bring home, or ruminate about. What’s not to love?

tsonfeir ,
@tsonfeir@lemm.ee avatar

No waking up in the middle of the of the night panicked, rushing to your work laptop, getting on the vpn, greping logs, and realizing it was all a dream and that never happened.

Yeah, I’ll just mix the drinks strong.

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