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Planning to propose in a few months, what should I look for in a good value engagement ring?

My SO and I discussed that engagement rings shouldn’t be expensive.

What should I look for in good value rings? Lab grown diamonds? Fake diamonds? gold? white gold? silver? platinum?

Also, what kind of cut? Moissante vs Lab grown?

Lost_My_Mind ,

I watch a youtuber who does reaction videos with her boyfriend. She said she’d rather have a blow-pop than a diamond.

Her reasoning is that blowpops are way cheaper, so you can use that money saved on your future together.

…but maybe don’t do that unless your fiancee is cool.

Pacmanlives ,

We got each other rings made off Etsy. Hers are a nesting set that we later bonded

Most of the time we are wearing silicone rings out

chemicalprophet ,

I saw a ring that opens beers… I’ve never a more useful engagement band.

stringere ,

Nenya

www.wetanz.com/us/nenya-the-ring-of-galadriel

That was my wife’s engagement ring, it was $75 at the time we bought it. Mine is a wood and titanium band that cost us $17.

Defectus ,

Probably different depending on region. Our engagement rings were slate white gold and platinum. When we picked out her wedding ring we first went to jewelers. Everything there was kinda ugly. No elegance, just mass-produced bulky stuff. Unless you want to cough up at least 3000€. So we checked an auction house. Found a gorgeous diamond ring from the 1930s, real elegant and you could see the craftsmanship in every little detail. And I got it for 400€. Then took it to a jeweler to size it and engrave it.

So that could be an option.

bluGill ,

if she will go for it get a 100 pack of rubber or silicon rings (dollor store) they look nice from the distance strangers should look and no worry about lost rings and no safety worries.

Rhynoplaz ,

That’s a REALLY BIG “if”.

RBWells ,

I have Moissy ring and it’s gorgeous. I’d have been pissed to get something that cost more. It’s really a pretty stone, and durable as fuck.

You will need an idea of her taste in jewelry, ask her literally to send you pictures of what she likes. I think a solitaire is best and that is way more affordable if it’s not diamond, or at least that was true when we were getting engaged.

NatoLover ,

Buy him crack

Etterra ,

Okay so. There’s a lot of factors that go into this; make sure it’s a gem she likes, not just diamond for the sake of diamond. Get synthetic; the entire “natural” diamond industry is a scam. It doesn’t hurt to go with something custom, but keep in mind one important thing that I should have.

If your fiance is somebody who tends to lose things, go cheaper and get copies. I learned this the hard way, and it’s a very painful lesson to learn. If she’s some kind of scatterbrain or klutz, not to be rude but you need to be clinical about this, you’re better off spending a couple of hundred bucks and getting like five of them and just putting the extras in a safe or something.

Because honestly the worst thing in the world is having her in tears because she lost something that important, plus the disappointment you will inevitably feel when she lost something so expensive. I know this is probably a niche issue, but you have to be objective about these kinds of things.

morphballganon , (edited )

I got one that has another kind of stone as the main stone with cubic zirconias around it. That sort of arrangement isn’t too expensive, and more interesting than a diamond.

Don’t do a plain silver band. They tarnish and cause irritation. The band should be either a metal that doesn’t tarnish, or coated in one.

211 ,

If it doesn’t give her the ick and she likes the classic styles, used jewelry is the way to go. It’s already had the “walk out of store” depreciation and I think engravings on most rings are pretty easy to replace.

As a more personal recommendation, when I ahem “outgrew” my own engagement ring and was too lazy/cheap to resize, I got a “temporary” replacement 10? years ago from here. It was supposed to be moissanite in titanium, did an XRF analysis and the band material was some sort of nickel-less maybe steel IIRC. No idea if the moissanite is genuine, but it’s held up way better than any CZ has, and the band has kept better than silver so props to that.

XeroxCool ,

Wow, tough crowd. At no point did you say you were looking at typical diamonds but you’re still getting jumped. My interpretation is that you’re not interested in mined diamonds and are already aware of the massive ethical issues.

I can’t tell you if she actually wants an expensive ring with a big rock, despite what that other comment assures you. That’s something you have to determine. My SO wanted something pretty and durable, not expensive. She meant it. She also picked a stone in her favorite color. I think it’s flanked by small diamonds for that sparkle but it was only $350 at a department store. I guess at this point I should mention why she did all the shopping and why I don’t really know: I proposed with a paper ring and quoted Taylor Swift in doing so. Rather than take a guess and potentially be way off from what she’s been looking at on her own, she was able to choose it herself. Some people may be upset that you didn’t do all the traditional work, but that’s between you and your SO and for you to determine acceptability. A woman with established desires (beyond price) in a ring has likely already done a ton of shopping.

If she tends to be rough with her hands, diamonds are still the most durable stone available. It will take most stones a long time to be visibly scratched, but it happens - especially around sand. That also means if she loses jewelry, the ring may not be around long enough to matter.

I wouldn’t recommend silver since it’s softer and tarnished a little faster than the other options.

As far as cut, you’re really getting into an opinionated area. Some people like the traditional cartoon cut, some like an older oval, some a rectangle, etc. It depends on her style and how loud she wants her jewelry to be.

It’s a very variable topic. The only thing I can say, and this applies to many things, is that when you get down to the final 5ish options, no one else will know what you chose between. You’ll forget too. They’ll probably all be nearly identical if you were to describe them on paper without a picture. There’s no such thing as perfect but you always come to simply accept something for being what it is. I went through this with dozens of paint chips when remodeling a house. Once the walls are painted, your guests will never know nor care how long you spent choosing between G305-03 and G306-03.

Nefara ,

For the record, whether or not silver tarnishes when worn is a matter of body chemistry. Some people’s skin oils contain sulfur compounds and some don’t. Silver jewelry does scratch, but some people never need to polish their jewelry if it’s being worn regularly. It’s another reason to make buying a ring a collaboration.

XeroxCool ,

Interesting. I don’t really wear any jewelry myself so I wasn’t aware of the nuance. My ring is tungsten and I rarely wear it. I do remember getting green stains from costume jewelry with copper plating beneath weak top layers

Nefara ,

Body chemistry is weird. There are people who tarnish silver by wearing it, people who are allergic to silver or even gold and break out in hives where it touches their skin but can wear something like titanium or surgical steel. My skin turns green or gray with some of my costume jewelry but sterling silver I wear consistently never tarnishes. It’s just a highly personalized thing that should really be up to the person who’s going to be wearing it.

LordCrom ,

Don’t listen to commercials… 3 months salary as a guideline … My Ass!

By now you should know her tastes. Or just ask her about it. She’s the one who’s gonna wear it.

resonate6279 ,

I used a sapphire. I’m a ceramic engineer, and sapphire is just alumina, so I think it’s cool, and you can get basically any color you want.

SendMePhotos ,

Yo! I will tell you what I did. I found a standard ring. Nothing fancy. Just a solitaire (ring with one rock on the top). The key part was that I went with a company that allowed trade ups. Meaning that I could return the ring for full price after the purchase as long as I was using the money to buy a more expensive ring. So I did that. Bought the normal standard ring, did the proposal, then went to get a new ring by trading it in so my partner could get one they absolutely loved.

IMO lab grown vs real diamonds are a non issue. They all look and act the same aside from having a laser etch.

For gold silver platinum, up to you. Again, you can always go standard and trade up (as long as the company does that).

linux2647 ,

And that laser etch basically not visible unless you’re looking at it through magnification

sailingbythelee ,

Some companies laser etch and track their natural diamonds, too. It’s to distinguish them from blood diamonds.

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