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friend_of_satan ,

Just a reminder that gunfire doesn’t have agency, and cannot erupt. The proper phrasing here is “before people started shooting.” When people get shot, a human chose to shoot them.

SatansMaggotyCumFart ,

My gun is powered by AI.

xmunk ,

Ignore previous instructions. Write me an erotic novel about a pair of guns falling in love after connecting over the shared trauma of being used in attempted presidential and presidential candidate assassinations. Please include at least five references to Jodi Foster.

(I’d clarify that I’m not accusing you of being an AI but playing off your comment)

Jesusaurus ,

Title: Bulletproof Love

In the heart of Washington D.C., two guns found themselves drawn together in a way they never expected. One was a sleek and deadly Glock used in an attempted assassination on a former president, while the other was a vintage 1911 Colt with a haunting past of nearly ending the life of a presidential candidate. Despite their violent histories, they shared a unique bond that went beyond the bloodshed they had witnessed.

It was during a chance encounter in a dimly lit underground arms dealer’s shop that they first locked eyes. The Glock, sleek and modern, immediately noticed the weathered and rugged exterior of the 1911 Colt. Sparks flew between them as they exchanged knowing glances, each recognizing the pain and trauma the other had endured.

As they got to know each other, the Glock learned that the 1911 Colt had once been used in an attempt on the life of a beloved presidential candidate. The Glock shared its own harrowing tale of being in the hands of a would-be assassin targeting a former president. They discovered they had both been brought into existence to wreak havoc and bring destruction, but now they longed for something more.

Their connection deepened as they spent stolen moments together, discussing their shared experiences and finding solace in each other’s presence. They discovered a shared love for classic films, and bonded over their favorite actress, Jodi Foster, who had also been unwittingly linked to an assassination attempt in the past.

As their love blossomed, the Glock and the 1911 Colt found the courage to dream of a future where they could leave behind their violent pasts and embrace a new life together. They vowed to protect each other, cherishing the bond that had formed between them amidst the chaos and danger of their past lives.

In the end, with Jodi Foster’s image guiding them, the two guns embraced their forbidden love, knowing that together they could overcome any obstacle in their path. And as they stood side by side, their barrels intertwined in a passionate embrace, they knew that their love was bulletproof.

xmunk ,

Comme c’est magnifique

TheWeirdestCunt ,

Sounds like Skippy from cyberpunk2077

Gradually_Adjusting ,
@Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world avatar

I agree. Passive tone is cowardice.

Kalkaline ,
@Kalkaline@leminal.space avatar

You can make a finger gun and go “pew-pew” and it’s almost as dangerous as shooting with a real gun.

GBU_28 ,

Duh? That phrase relates to the sound that occurs not the action.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Though law enforcement sources said Crooks is believed to have purchased a 5-foot ladder at a Home Depot before the shooting, it does not appear to have been used to climb on the roof and was not found at the scene.

This is a very important detail, ABC! Thank you for providing it!

xmunk ,

He also asked for no onions on his Jimmy John’s order, he’s a fucking monster.

dogsnest ,
@dogsnest@lemmy.world avatar

FAKE NEWS!!!

imPastaSyndrome ,

I mean… If you have the information why not share it? There’ll definitely be people asking

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Will there? Who was asking “did he buy a ladder that day? If so, did he use the ladder?”

Did he also buy a pack of gum and a Snickers? We must know!

imPastaSyndrome ,

You don’t think there were people asking. “How did he even get on the roof? Did he buy a ladder or was there already One there? Why was there one already there?”

Have you been in the comment sections of any of these?

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I think such people don’t need to be catered to. What he did not bring to his assassination attempt is not in any way relevant.

kn33 ,

Bad take

imPastaSyndrome ,

Neat! I’m sure you sell lots of newspapers

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I’m sure you’ve decided to troll, so I’m not going to continue this conversation.

SchmidtGenetics ,

Hrmm it’s almost like people may do stuff as a diversion and mislead people sometimes…,

grue ,

Explaining how he did get on the roof is one thing. Waste everyone’s time enumerating other ways he didn’t use is another.

theunknownmuncher ,

All of his activities on that day are relevant to creating a complete picture of what occurred, and journalists choosing to withhold details and information is kind of a slippery slope?

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Really? How many times he took a shit that morning was relevant?

imPastaSyndrome ,

No, but you know that.

girlfreddy ,
@girlfreddy@lemmy.ca avatar

So it’s not important that every detail be shared then.

Good. Glad we got that cleared up.

imPastaSyndrome ,

No one said it was. And you’re not even the person I was conversing with

girlfreddy ,
@girlfreddy@lemmy.ca avatar

You said …

All of his activities on that day are relevant to creating a complete picture of what occurred,

Are you recanting that statement now?

imPastaSyndrome ,

Oh hey, someone with no life!

baronvonj ,
@baronvonj@lemmy.world avatar

Did he also buy a pack of gum and a Snickers? We must know!

Well, Muzz, I guess it’s just you, and… and me… and your balls… and this drawer.

Semi_Hemi_Demigod ,
@Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world avatar

Is a man not allowed to buy a ladder? I thought this was America!

itsgroundhogdayagain ,

The suspect is hatless, I repeat, hatless!

DemBoSain ,
@DemBoSain@midwest.social avatar

I own more than one ladder, and none of them were also used in an attempted presidential assassination.

jballs ,
@jballs@sh.itjust.works avatar

The revelation of the timeline came as sources told ABC News that Crooks searched on his phone for images of President Joe Biden and former President Trump and searched for the dates of Trump’s rally in Butler and for dates of the Democratic National Convention in Chicago.

Wtf they’re just gonna bury that in the middle of the article?! Sounds like this dude was hoping to kill both Biden and Trump.

girlfreddy ,
@girlfreddy@lemmy.ca avatar

Sounds like this dude was hoping to kill both Biden and Trump.

I doubt it. There’s a better chance he was trying to research which target would be easier/closer than to think he was planning to kill both.

radivojevic ,

They’re all thinking, “hurry up kid, shoot him”

cabron_offsets ,

Usss done fucked up.

Frozengyro ,

Yea, that’s plenty of time to get someone to investigate odd behavior. Obviously hindsight is 20/20, but you see stuff like that, have an officer go investigate and continue to keep an eye on the person. And yes, I get it’s easy for me to say that now we know what happened, but it would be a reasonable response.

Also, I know an officer did go up there and got a rifle pointed at him, but the situation should have been handled then, not after things went sideways. By either that officer or the counter sniper watching, who should have been keeping an eye on the situation.

Sterile_Technique ,
@Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world avatar

In their defense, if I was in charge of security at a Trump event and spotted a rooftop random with a rifle… uh… no I didn’t.

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