There have been multiple accounts created with the sole purpose of posting advertisement posts or replies containing unsolicited advertising.

Accounts which solely post advertisements, or persistently post them may be terminated.

Lepsea ,

Then the guy goes to lemmy and asks “how to not poo for 3 days” to show his girl that he can change. But it’s all meaningless now because he eats too much beans. Today he just stood in the corner stroganoff his beef

Che_Donkey ,
@Che_Donkey@lemmy.ml avatar

This is poetry

dangblingus ,

Diarrhea is a difficult word to spell on a good day, and this chick chose the most insanely difficult way to spell it and still nailed it. Nice!

MR_GABARISE ,

Man I need me some thebronzejade on Lemmy.

Imgonnatrythis ,

To be fair you are probably better off using a bidet as diarrhea often means repeat events and that’s a lot of wiping and you can create sores. Also, with infectious diarrhea the very act of wiping is a high risk event for spreading those germs. The f22 is an incredible flying machine and the M28 is likely not the most luxurious way to travel but it is much better than flying on Spirit airlines.

Cysioland ,
@Cysioland@lemmygrad.ml avatar

Yeah, with diarrhea I just wash my hole as if I wiped every time it would hurt so much

drathvedro ,

What’ve learned the hard way the last time I had prolonged diarrhea is that it’s better to wash as soon as possible because having your buttcheeks soaked in stomach acid can irritate the skin even more than the toilet paper. It’s no wonder F22 took issue with this as she has vectored thrust and hypersonic missles while M28 doesn’t. He’s just out of her league, she’s gotta dump him and date SU27 instead.

toastal ,

Bidets are the way even when not experiencing diarrhea & it’s weird so many places it’s no the norm. It’s real weird to find a places without the hose sitting right next to the throne when you are finished.

Flaky ,
@Flaky@iusearchlinux.fyi avatar

Whoever owns that M28 needs to take better care of it.

riodoro1 ,

I dont wanna know how much greasy, oily mess comes out of the aft end of an M28 but it needs to be hosed down, not wiped.

ours ,

When 17, fully-kitted Polish paratroopers start popping out the back, it’s time to see a doctor.

jdf038 ,

Especially if Russia is anywhere near. It could get violent.

isolatedscotch ,

plane bidet sounds so funny

unoriginalsin ,

They’re everywhere man!

Vuraniute ,
@Vuraniute@thelemmy.club avatar

literally me. one time my english teacher used “A10” as an example for a highway and i said “thats a plane” so she used “B52” as another example and i said “thats also a plane.”

Kusimulkku ,

“Fine! F16!”

“You’re not gonna believe this, but…”

Vuraniute ,
@Vuraniute@thelemmy.club avatar

“okay, okay. uhhh… what about P51?”

“old one, but still a plane”

Jabaski ,

They just didn’t use a big enough number. Like F111 is unremarkable, definitely not a plane.

Vuraniute ,
@Vuraniute@thelemmy.club avatar

F111 is a plane too, but since Planes have large differences in their numbers, F117 cant be a plane!

helpImTrappedOnline ,

what did I just read? That woman needs to dump that boy. That boy needs reeducation on basic cleaning.

This gives the same vibes as “I don’t wash my privates because it’s gay”.

LinkOpensChest_wav ,
@LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.one avatar

Don’t worry, it’s r/relationship_advice, so it’s entirely made up

helpImTrappedOnline ,

Oh I know, I spent much too long trying to sneak a plane pun in there…but never had any good ideas take off.

kautau ,

Let your dreams take flight and you’ll land a good pun eventually

jaybone ,

Yeah this is unfunny troll.

rustyfish ,
@rustyfish@lemmy.world avatar

“I don’t wash my privates because it’s gay“.

Well, it’s literally balls touching so…

MashedTech ,

True, my balls touch each other… I must be gay…

lurch ,

Well it is a bit gay if you’re an army seargent and your privates have the same gender as you.

Cysioland ,
@Cysioland@lemmygrad.ml avatar

It stops being gay when you’re in the Navy

Pinklink ,

This happened to me irl. My cousin said he doesn’t wash his asshole in the shower cus of this. Ignoring the glaring bs, me and my other cousin just told him “wash yah ayse”

LemmyKnowsBest ,

what did I just read? That woman needs to dump that boy. That boy needs reeducation on basic cleaning.

This gives the same vibes as “I don’t wash my privates because it’s gay”.

Ok but why didn’t you mention those sweet airplanes?

helpImTrappedOnline ,

Why did you quote the entire comment?

Also I thought about mentioning the airplanes, but couldn’t think of any good puns to fit in. Looking at the other comments, they’re better at it than me, go read those instead.

LemmyKnowsBest ,

I quoted the entire comment because sometimes the context of responses get lost the further down the comment chain they are.

brb ,

It just adds clutter to the chain

LemmyKnowsBest ,

Sry 😔

MashedTech ,

Yeah, touching your cock is gay. When I pee, I just fling my dick around with the gyration from my hips so I don’t touch my dick, otherwise my roommate will come over me in the bathroom and start screaming “GAYYYYYYYY”. I can not stand the shame I will feel, the looks from neighbors. My peers will look me in the eyes I will see it in their eyes, their disapproval. Rainbows will rain from the sky and the ground will cry blood because I am gay. That’s why I will never ever ever tough my dick, worst case is the shower, I use chopsticks when I need to clean it. When I walk, I walk with my hands behind my back so I can keep a safe distance from my dick and have an object between them.

lorty ,
@lorty@lemmy.ml avatar

Still not as bad as the guy that didn’t clean his ass and his gaming chair smelled so bad his girlfriend was begging him to clean it.

Raxiel ,

Or dads who refuse to change infants in their care because “peedo”

helpImTrappedOnline ,

By that logic, mommy shouldn’t change the kids either.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • [email protected]
  • random
  • lifeLocal
  • goranko
  • All magazines
    •