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kokesh ,
@kokesh@lemmy.world avatar

Great! Someone should write HomeAssistant integration!

Gestrid ,

“Hey, Google, I’m having sex!”

Google turns down the lights and turns on the balls.

dQw4w9WgXcQ ,

The stereo starts playing Yakety Sax

IzzyScissor ,

I see two casings for switches. Do you have to toggle each ball individually or something?

Also, how do you remember which way to flip the switch? Can it get turned around?

randomdeadguy ,
@randomdeadguy@lemmy.world avatar

I know, right? Do you just flip one and run at 50%?

rmuk ,

Flip them on and off repeatedly to put them in pairing mode.

IzzyScissor ,

“FUCK, I came for longer than 5 seconds. Now I have to go through the factory reset AGAIN.”

chiliedogg ,

“You’ve turned on sticky keys.”

doggle ,

So a toggleable vasectomy.

Trouble is you need a several days (maybe a week or more) and/or a few ejaculations to actually be sterile after a vasectomy… So this isn’t the kind of thing that you can flip on in the moment and you’re safe.

explodicle ,

I’d imagine most men would only need to actually use the switch twice in their lives anyways. So having to wait a couple weeks wouldn’t be too bad.

ArcaneSlime ,

Better to keep it off until you and your wife are trying for a kid than keep it on and flip it off for saf(er) sex. Why keep your cum on while you’re just walking around?

FooBarrington ,

Mostly for fashion reasons

Noedel ,

They told me three months. In case the wires reconnect

iAvicenna ,
@iAvicenna@lemmy.world avatar

wait till this comes with a monthly subscription

Agent641 ,

When Google wont give you back the API keys to the chastity electrodes

jrbaconcheese ,

There’s a big difference between this and getting snipped. The difference is, like, vast. It’s a vast difference.

kboy101222 ,

More of a vas deferens I think

wolfpack86 ,

Angry up vote

jrbaconcheese ,

Yes, indeed, you said the funny part aloud.

neuracnu ,
@neuracnu@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Hang on one second babe…

(clap-clap)

peopleproblems ,

Things you don’t want tied to a clapper may include this device.

ArcaneSlime ,

Go to a play

“Fuck was that even or odd?! I’ve been workin’ on this date since dinner!”

RememberTheApollo_ ,

Wouldn’t compression of the tissue starve it if oxygen and cause necrosis?

flying_sheep ,
@flying_sheep@lemmy.ml avatar

What? Why would you permanently compress it?

RememberTheApollo_ ,

TIL about the meme, but to continue hypothetically - any sort of pressure to either hold the ends of the type in the mechanism, or if the tube continues through the mechanism and a “pinch” is done to prevent flow.

abbiistabbii ,
@abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

I guarantee you the same people working to ban abortion and female contraception will go after this too.

Schadrach ,

Male contraceptives are difficult to approve to begin with, specifically because there’s no political will to expedite anything that benefits males as a sex. They don’t need to go after this sort of thing until something actually gets approved.

The FDA also requires tighter standards regarding side effects because they do not prevent or treat a condition that the patient has (because pregnancy is not a concern for male persons). If you ever hear someone talking about a male pill and implying that the guys in the study couldn’t deal with relatively minor side effects, it wasn’t the patients that ended the study and it wasn’t because patients were unwilling to continue using it.

There was also a pill derived from cotton plants, but it had two major issues: The first was that the difference between a contraceptive dose and a toxic dose was too small to be comfortable. The second was that sometimes (but not always) the effect was permanent.

There’s also a technology developed in India for a sort of reversible vasectomy that requires an injection of a polymer in each vas. It started out as an attempt at an artificial heart design, in the 70s was used as the basis for a water pump, and still later became the basis for the contraceptive. US IP rights to it were bought by a US company in 2011, and a slightly different formulation of it was in testing until 2023 under the name Vasalgel (which proved less reversible than the original). The rights were bought by a different company in 2023 who are looking to try to bring it to market under the name Plan A For Men.

Thcdenton ,

Dude imagine getting hit with a groin shot with that fucking thing in your taint

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/599d8f53-93a3-4a94-8392-b6a306b6e0a7.jpeg

LinusSexTips ,

I think I’d be more concerned if my hands were that small

PhlubbaDubba ,

I mean if you’re that worried it’d be more effective to build up a spank bank for making kids later and then just get a vasectomy.

MeThisGuy ,

we have different definitions of the words ‘spank bank’

pH3ra ,
@pH3ra@lemmy.ml avatar

Remember to flip the switch back on when you need to pee

RememberTheApollo_ ,

Not the same plumbing.

Schorsch ,

Contrary to common belief, pee is, in fact, stored in the balls.

RememberTheApollo_ ,

Yeah, TIL about the meme. Whoosh for me.

luciferofastora ,

Congrats! You were one of today’s lucky ten thousand!

pH3ra ,
@pH3ra@lemmy.ml avatar

knowyourmeme.com/…/pee-is-stored-in-the-balls

RememberTheApollo_ ,

TIL. Thanks.

enbyecho ,

Wait won’t this turn off their brains? How will they breathe?

MeatPilot ,
@MeatPilot@lemmy.world avatar

This seems more practical for a temporary birth control for men.

www.planaformen.com

Still under development, but works like a microscopic net to prevent sperm from exiting and can be dissolved later if you do decide to have kids.

PenisWenisGenius ,

An even better birth control is Arch Linux. It’s free and open source. I use Arch btw.

prettybunnys ,

As a fake internet doctor this is all I need to diagnose you as STi free

merari42 ,

This, but I want the voice command changed to “Go go gadget genitalia”

rob_t_firefly ,
@rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world avatar

I’d just want the Super Mario power-up/power-down sound effects.

irreticent ,
@irreticent@lemmy.world avatar

And when you insert it you hear the sound effect from when he goes down into a pipe.

Gestrid ,

And the underground theme plays while doing it. As you get closer, the sped up version plays.

irreticent ,
@irreticent@lemmy.world avatar

I’m in a loud public place so I didn’t attempt clicking/listening, but I heard both those sounds/music in my head anyway. I spent too much time on that game as a kid.

captain_aggravated ,
@captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works avatar

Can you reset any of the voice assistants to respond instead of Siri or Alexa or Bixby or whatever to “go go gadget?”

v4ld1z ,
@v4ld1z@lemmy.zip avatar

Go go gadget dick

Klnsfw ,

Forget the Codom and Get STIs

Wilzax ,

Bro forgot about committed and closed relationships

Klnsfw ,

As a matter of fact, I’m in a committed and open relationship.

Wilzax ,

Hence why STDs are a concern for you, but not necessarily for everyone

brbposting ,

Safe folks don’t need marketing.

Folks taking risks can be helped by marketing.

The comment makes sense to me as stands. Guess it could say “20-70% of you!” as an addendum (wonder what the percentage is…)

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