Hand to hand, with no weapons and just my bare hands & teeth? I could maybe take a mouse… and I’d still probably come away with some wounds. Probably a small, non-venomous snake as well.
By being elected president on a platform of bog-standard normal liberalism, FDR style, behind a remotely charismatic personality rather than a shambling horrid human corpse. I will legislate the space force to create huge satellites that catch solar energy and funnel that energy down to the surface with big microwaves. I will take this opportunity to equip the space stations with hypersonic aircraft that will drop normal supersonic personnel carriers, ensuring a global response time of only a few hours. This will probably be less monetarily intensive than putting a US military base everywhere on the planet, so I’d use those savings to expand the nuclear arsenal, and possibly deploy some of those weapons to space in secret under the guise of some commercial wi-fi satellite ventures. I will reveal this fact to everyone later on once they have all been globally deployed and nobody has any countermeasures, and then I’ll start performing a bloody hostile takeover of the planet.
Then, I will attempt to quintuple global fossil fuel output. I don’t know what we’ll use all this excess energy for, probably we’d just use it to build more horrible weapons of war, or huge impenetrable underground citadels, or whatever. I will get rid of regulation for industry, ensuring massive environmental disasters. I will even tell the CIA to do some of them probably, nord stream pipeline style, and they’ll probably do it cause they’re crazy. Maybe I’ll use the microwave power grid to blow up some of my enemies by boiling them until they explode.
At the end of my term as god emperor dictator, a disgrace and shell of my former self, I will use the nuclear football to ensure no life on the planet survives, except for maybe basic viruses, bacteria, and maybe a couple different insects. I will arise from my presidential super-bunker to face a barren world. A perfect world, free from sin. Thus concludes the 2nd Global Emu War.
If I wasn’t going to do any of that and I just had to give like the least dangerous animal I personally could take on, I’d probably say like. Maybe a stray ant. That might be too sad, though, because that’s just a lonely ant and it’s sort of too pathetic to kill it. Maybe like a really evil guy that’s about to die anyways? But that’s also too sad, because that’s just a meat-puppet automaton of life that has shambled around until it’s shut down. Maybe I could just kill like, dick cheney, or something, someone super evil. He looks too much like george costanza for me to do that though, I think.
Edit: actually I think I could take on any invasive species of animal barehanded, with a combination of my extremely tough fists that I have been spraying with dog medicine, and tai chi exercise DVD training regimen.
Could be a MUSIC/SP reference. (No I don’t remember how to use it either. I had a letter-letter-number-number %[email protected] email in college though.)
The spoken language is the actual language. If three things are written different but sound the shame, then that’s a failure of the writing system, not the individual.
I would in principle agree with you, however not about English, mainly because it is now a language of international discourse of any kind, and it thus no longer belongs to the local speakers.
It now has a role Latin had until just a few centuries ago, and extrapolating a bit into the future from that example, will remain quite stable while your dialect, American, Australian, Indian, Jamaican, will change until it becomes another language entirely, no longer mutually intelligible with the other dialects.
If you want to participate in the international dialog however, you will have to learn International, which is now English including the differentiation of the theiy’res, even if your native language is English. Your grand-grandchildren may have to learn English like an Italian in 1800 had to learn Latin if he wanted to join the international discourse.
It’s super interesting to watch this process unfold right now!
We already have different spellings in different countries. If we truly cared about the international part we would have a customized writing system just for that, which would probably remove the three theirs. We would also have a standard international spelling. Instead what happens is the American version gets used since they are the biggest and everyone has to deal with their version. The people who invented the fucking language get left behind. So there isn’t really a reason not to fix it since English is diverging anyway.
If Americans fix it then it will just become the norm anyway, except in England because fuck America that’s why. If it becomes the norm in England then nobody will care because it’s England, and we aren’t an empire anymore. Not that we would because there are far too many posh twats in England who get off on correcting people’s grammar. Oi listen, maybe the road men could get this done, you feel me? As for what happens if Canada adopts it, ay, I wouldn’t worry aboot that.
Apologies for the road man impression. Best I could do y’all.
All of ye might want to take note that not all UK people speak the same language. To say otherwise takes the pish. Anyway I best bob up the apple and pears and go beddy byes. Nice talking to you wee lad.
p.s. I tried to fit as many localisms into this as possible. How did I do?
CITY SLICKER SNEED’S SNEED’S CHUCK SNEED’S COPE COPE SUCK ON LEMMY SNEED AND SEETHE HOT POCKETS JANNIES I CAN’T I CAN’T SNEED’S I CAN’T SEED CLEAN IT UP SNEED SEETHE FEED AND SUCK COPE CITY SLICKER JANNIES SEED HOT POCKETS CITY SLICKER SNEED FEED DILATE COPE ON LEMMY SUCK SNEED’S ON LEMMY CLEAN IT UP FOR FREE SUCK HOT POCKETS FOR FREE SEED SNEED FOR FREE FUCK HOT POCKETS SNEED’S
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