People arenāt honest enough with each other and their own needs. Meanwhile we build other dependencies in long term relationships that have nothing to do with physical attraction, but are in most cases more important for all kinds of reasons.
Monogamy is the basis of a lot of unnecessary suffering because itās resisting a very real need we continue to have even when our relationships become romantically stagnant. If we could all just be honest about it with our SOs without fear, and work together as we do anyway to maintain other commitments to each other, we could have a culture where thereās a lot more freedom to seek more intimacy and love in a way that isnāt dishonest, that isnāt ācheatingā.
Iāve never understood the concept of cheating in general. Basically what a person says is that they donāt want their significant other to experience any kind of intimacy or sexual relationships with any other person except for them for the rest of their lives.
Iāve always seen that as kinda unfair.
On the other hand if Iām in a relationship I typically donāt feel the need or desire to have relations with any other person even when the opportunity presents itself.
I have a friend though that is hopelessly in love with his girlfriend but regularly engages in sexual relations with other women. For him, itās not an emotional activity, itās just a physical one.
But youāre absolutely right open honest communication is absolutely key.
What makes cheating, cheating, is the betrayal of trust involved more than any specific acts of intimacy. The reality is in monogamous relationships merely falling for someone else, even without then knowing how you feel, already feels like a betrayal in your heart as a loyal partner who wishes you only had eyes for your SO and nobody else. Even porn in some cases is a betrayal. Itās a whole lot of unnecessary suffering not to acknowledge how the overwhelming majority of us wonāt mentally thrive under these conditions. Therefore, setting expectations appropriate for your situation is key.
For my part, my SO understands that due in part to her relatively low sex drive and complete lack of initiative, certain needs of mine arenāt being met, and weāve talked about it. I still love her deeply, and we have recently had a child, and I have every intention of meeting my obligations as a father and partner for the rest of my life. But, thereās a real possibility I could fall for someone else one day. I already have friends who I can say I love and would jump at the opportunity to be intimidate with should they show that kid of interest. What interests me though, are loving bonds, not hookups (I mean STD risks and all sorts. Ew). I want to be close with those who I sleep with, and i want them to know I love my partner and will always be there for her and our child. But, thereās space for them too, if they want in. Ideally, my partner likes and accepts them too - and the more close they are as friends (or even lovers too) the better.
In any case, thatās the dream I guess. Nothing has happened yet, and I find with a baby to look after, Iām in no rush, and certainly even with everything out in the open, itās still too much drama to navigate at the moment. But if it does happen one day, at least it wonāt result in a litany of lies that lead to guilt and suffering all around. At least, thatās the idea. I know it will never be quite that easy in reality, but it wouldnāt be life otherwise!
I feel kinda the same wayā¦ I donāt really like the whole āspontaneous sexā āone night standā thing. I would prefer to get to know the person Iām going to be intimate withā¦
But again I have friends that would easily rail a woman in the bathroom of a bar and forget that even happened in a week.
My hope would be that the girls your friend rails behave and feel the same way and their respective partners if they have them know it too, or theyāre single and thatās their thing. Maybe they donāt care about herpes, syphilis, chlamydia, or HIV either, because the thrill is worth the risk.
I know that isnāt even mostly the case and most people are behaving in ways they will later regret. But I do think thereās a culture in which we can be more honest and happy with having a bit more love in our lives.
It will take work and conversations like this are a small part of that I guess.
I would be uncomfortable with my partner hooking up with a stranger. Thatās a betrayal of our shared values, and creates risks for both of us (e.g. unwanted pregnancy, STDs, and general drama that could create a lot of unnecessary stress). I would rather know that she has fallen for someone weāre both know preferably, and who she loves and believes she can trust implicitly. I would still feel a healthy amount of jealousy, and be worried about thing going wrong, and her being hurt. But I would trust her judgment, and trust she wonāt run away and leave me to raise our kid on my own. But yeah, the sex, and intimacy in this case, wouldnāt bother me too much.
A video from three years ago about a game that had an extremely rough, bug-ridden, underwhelming launch.
I havenāt played it, but I understand that it has improved dramatically since then.
At launch I wouldnāt have told anyone to buy No Man Sky, but that game has ALSO gotten significantly better since launch and now I would recommend people buy it.
CD Projekt should have earned enough goodwill from the community at large for us to be willing to forgive their mistakes when they fix them.
They worked their asses off and only recently called the game āfinishedā.
Itās testament to how every developer should be. Full-time, aggressive, and reactive development for 3.5 years after the launch date on a singleplayer game. Obviously, itās actually quite the masterpiece now and very positively reviewed. Definitely recommend it.
Mate, if you can only answer with a 41 minutes video, you shouldnāt throw such allegations on a text forum. Write at least one paragraph with key points, for Christās sake!
But if the game is good enough for 25+ hours of your life, you canāt justify pirating it.
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