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CapnAssHolo , in Part of a balanced diet

I’m not falling for this. I think I’ve read a greentext about doing this and the anon ended up covered in shit sobbing himself to sleep on the bathroom floor

Scew ,
@Scew@lemmy.world avatar

Even just eating like 5 olives makes things extra smooth down the line >.>

Mikekm ,

People get sick from eating olives? Man I can eat a jar of green olives, pair it with a brick of cheddar cheese and you’ve got yourself a meal.

kungen ,

Yeah wtf? I’ll eat a whole jar of kalamata and have no problems.

readthemessage ,

Maybe your stomachs still work properly. The other day I had a slice of cake and I swear I had to rush to the toilet before I had even finished it. I cannot understand how that’s physically possible.

n3m37h ,

I’ll take the cheese, you can have the olives

chinpokomon ,

Olives are toxic until they’ve been brined. Those sort of discoveries always make me wonder… who figured out that immersing them in salt water for a month would make them edible without making you sick?

shadowspirit ,

I’ve found my people. Think I’ll go indulge in a brick of cheddar right now. The concrete that I have to pass tomorrow will be … well … tomorrow’s problem.

Hyperi0n ,

That was a jar of pickles and it caused him great gastrointestinal issues that resulted in acid like bowel movement.

This reaction isn’t normal though.

myrrh ,

…i just ate eight flavor grenade pluots for dinner about two hours ago, crunchy, green, and tart: the flavor part was absolutely true but as i’m sitting down to type this i suddenly realise that the grenade part was, too…

TIEPilot , in All 50 states with the same naming convention as West Virginia

Virginian resident here, WE OWN YOU ALL!

/s

MrJukes ,
@MrJukes@lemmy.one avatar

They should have called your state East Virgina

TIEPilot ,

No

“OD Virginia”

Recognize!

/we are the “Old Dominion”

encyclopediavirginia.org/entries/old-dominion/

/s just having fun!

MrJukes ,
@MrJukes@lemmy.one avatar

I would have thought West Virginia was more appropriate for OD’ing :)

TIEPilot ,

Dark I Like it!

Also WV illegally secede from VA during the Civil War.

i.imgur.com/XkB9e3N.jpg

TheSaneWriter ,
@TheSaneWriter@lemmy.thesanewriter.com avatar

To be fair, Virginia illegally seceded from the Union. Illegally seceding from an illegal secession makes you a patriot I think.

TIEPilot ,

Regardless we want them back. My argument is thin I agree.

But I live 1 town out of WV so I can jump ship if I have too. VA is becoming a silly place.

Thorry84 , in Well...that was anticlimactic

Can we please keep all of the alien nonsense off of lemmy? I don’t need conspiracy theories on my favorite platform. Even though aliens are the OG conspiracy theories and Mulder made them look real cool.

FlexibleToast ,

At least it’s the fun conspiracies instead of the nation destroying ones.

Nahvi ,

Can we please keep anything I don’t like or agree with it off of lemmy?

That includes: boiled eggs, boiled spinach, and anyone with a number in their user name.

Thank you everyone!

aDuckk , in Well...that was anticlimactic

It was a fun distraction from the hottest consecutive weeks ever recorded though.

tja , in How are you guys feeling?
@tja@sh.itjust.works avatar

Yes, same :/

demlet , in Well...that was anticlimactic

I mean, setting aside the lack of actual evidence so far, what effect will it have on most of us? Is the world suddenly going to become a utopia because aliens have been here? At best we get some cool technology that governments and the rich will hoard; at worst we get conscripted to go kill them and take their shit, or are forced to defend ourselves from them trying to take our shit. I’ve never really understood why aliens imply anything other than that. The truth is, if they do have something truly transcendent to teach us, we ain’t ready for it. If we want to find the secrets of the universe we need to put our own house in order and do it ourselves. Aliens aren’t our space saviors.

LinkOpensChest_wav ,
@LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.one avatar

I keep hoping they’ll imprison us and keep me as their pet. I’d prefer that life.

Korne127 ,
@Korne127@lemmy.world avatar

You can have that life now 👀

demlet ,

Now kiss.

ihwip ,

The fact that they haven’t made contact with the entire globe in a way that is undisputable etc is proof that they are mostly apathetic.

This is why they mostly stick to military bases with nukes. Even their offensive technology is apathetic. Disrupting our electronics etc. They clearly don’t care.

With that said should we really call them aliens? Chances are they have been here longer than the entire history of the hominid line.

demlet ,

Or maybe proof that, you know, they aren’t here and never were…

peanut_boy ,

Why does everything need to have personal gain to matter at all. I get the whole “no actual evidence” part. But if we actually see aliens and you’re not impressed, I don’t think we can be friends. Don’t blame capitalism, you’re just lame. Sure, there are real problems, but people throughout history have had it far worse and still managed to care about things outside of their own tiny microcosm. Many people enjoy these things not in spite of but because of their personal struggles, as they can act as an escape for a short time. If you’re going to have economic troubles anyway, why spend all your time dwelling in it?

demlet ,

True, it would be amazing. I’m just ambivalent about the long-term impact. Like, would much really change ultimately? I guess we’ve never experienced another species we could directly communicate ideas with. Maybe it would be more revolutionary than I can imagine.

BeMoreCareful ,

I don’t think that person is talking about their personal thoughts, but more mankind as a whole.

As we operate now we would not have to tools to add anything meaningful to a galactic conversation.

We could all personally think it’s awesome, but as a people we are simply unequipped to deal with the consequences of meeting an extraterrestrial race.

People are sort of great individually, but collectively we’re horrific. We’d be trying to kill, enslave, or exploit any new species we came across. It’s what we do with new species. Hell it’s what we do to each other.

ElectricAirship ,
@ElectricAirship@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Religions would have to wreckon with a lot of their foundations…

Phen ,

“have to” is a bit strong. Religions ignore inconvenient truths about the world all the time. If aliens were confirmed to exist it wouldn’t be different. >

bumblychicken ,

Would they though? I feel like the biggest ones would accommodate this revelation. “Yes, extraterrestrials exist but WE are God’s chosen species” Same reason a lot of animals don’t get into heaven lol

explodicle ,

IIRC Mormons already believe God created multiple inhabited planets.

speaker_hat , in BMW

Doing business with Nazis because it’s profitable. Nazis died, BMW regrets.

Doing business with fossil fuel because it’s profitable. Earth dies, BMW regrets.

I see a pattern here

Mac ,

Hmmm… Maybe we shouldn’t prioritize profits over all else?

Nah, nvm. That can’t be right.

Custoslibera ,

Get outta here with your pinko commie socialist gay woke agenda!!!

HiddenLayer5 , (edited )

Nah they literally used extermination camp forced labour, that much we know without doubt so they were pretty damn complicit. Tried to research whether BMW ever actually made gas vans, but couldn’t find a definitive confirmation or good evidence to the contrary from a reputable source, so gonna say they might have.

korstmos , in aggravated assault

What if there are no crappier cars on the road?

_Sprite OP ,
@_Sprite@lemmy.world avatar

See step 2

emanon458 ,

And then take his car.

Bigbon , in aggravated assault

Sound like recursion

jannis , in aggravated assault

Nah, I drive a 2015 Skoda Roomster without a wireless car key and a broken radio, it’s kinda shitty

moistclump ,

Roomster. I was picturing a roomba combined with a car. I really enjoyed that mental visual. Beep beep beep brrrr BOOP *tuuuurn beep beep beep brrr.

corm , in aggravated assault

all cars are crappy

!fuck_cars

AllonzeeLV , in Opinion: Why Buy Lemonade From This Kid’s Lemonade Stand When I Can Make Better At Home? [Satire]

The last thing we should be teaching children is some easy mode fantasy about how virtuous and straight forward capitalism is.

If they want to prepare their kids for the world we’ve made them, the parent should take 99% of what they make at the end of the day, and welcome them to cry if they don’t like it because they own the means of lemonade production.

That’s teaching kids about the economy.

Joep ,

Exactly, why wait until their first job to teach them about taxes and the free market. Crush their spirit while they’re young!

AllonzeeLV ,

I don’t even see it as being the one crushing their spirit. What makes that crush more painful is what most parents do, play pretend that the society their child will enter is just, fair, mutually beneficial, and responsive to good faith effort.

The reality lf course couldn’t be further from the truth. Teaching them such things is feeding them to the jackals and setting them up both for disappointment and failure. Children need to know that the moment they’re an adult, society will prey on their good will, punish empathy, and attempt to exploit them for maximum labor with minimum reward.

Instead some parents have their kids sell lemonade/scout cookies/etc to smiling neighbors, about as reflective of the reality of our rigged economy as Santa Clause is to the reality of how those presents got under the tree last christmas.

Then society condemns such children for taking out student loans and working dead end jobs with no promotion or pay raise for making “bad choices,” despite insisting we spend 18 years deluding them into doe eyed naivety to preserve their innocence. If anyone actually wanted that, our society and the global economy wouldn’t be as sociopathic as it is.

sadreality ,

Parents are drinking that koolaid too tho

They don't want to admit the sad reality either.

Boomers are living in denial still telling old stupid tropes as "advice" idiots

lukeblackwell86 ,

Damn, came for the shitpost, left with a life lesson.

thorbot ,

And then the kid kills their parents and seizes the means of production and the Marxist revolution has begun

Gork , in BMW

Other than the giant swastika, does it bother anyone else that the kerning is uneven? The B is farther away from the M than the M is from the W.

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

I thought Germans were supposed to be sticklers for detail!

Anticorp ,

I’d like to think they did that on purpose to spite Hitler.

Soupbreaker ,

Other than that, how was the kerning, Mrs. Lincoln?

0ops ,

Well it didn’t

Naz ,

Now that you mentioned it, it does bother me, but it might have been on purpose.

BMW stands for Benelli (?) Motor Werk(s), so essentially it’s:

(Location) -space- (Factory Type)

At least that’s my assumption for it, because otherwise, it being Nazi Germany, if that was a typographical error, the person stamping those would probably be shot

Chrobin ,

It is Bayerische Motoren Werke. Funnily enough, that’s wrong orthography, it should be Bayerische Motorenwerke, so you have a point.

Sotuanduso ,

Literal grammar Nazis.

Schmuppes ,

Sloppy work like that is how you lose wars, son!

johnthedoe , in aggravated assault

No car is best car Debt free car is second best car Big or expensive car to prove your worth is worst car

tias , in Part of a balanced diet

I came across The Sad Bastard Cookbook on HN. It is amazing and very much in the spirit of this post.

n3m37h ,

Can’t be any worse than. Weber Cooks

PipedLinkBot ,

Here is an alternative Piped link(s): piped.video/7hF41qPkJxs

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

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