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saltesc ,

I’m regularly surprised by how many people manage to shit themselves, and how it’s common enough that people have a casual laugh over their “shat myself” stories. I feel left out. I laughed so hard I peed myself once when I was 5?

dumbass ,
@dumbass@leminal.space avatar

I sneezed and shat myself the other month, maybe you’re young or maybe you’ve got a good bowel sytem.

EnderMB ,

I have IBS, and while I’ve had many close calls I can proudly say that I’ve never shit myself. As someone that’s basically a flight risk for accidental pooping, as well as having heard these stories before in-person, I often wonder if more people have stomach/bowel problems than they’d like to let on.

cheddar ,
@cheddar@programming.dev avatar

and how it’s common enough that people have a casual laugh over their “shat myself” stories

That’s how we deal with the trauma.

Aggravationstation ,

I was almost at work when I sharted.

Thought, well, “oh shit” lol. But I was like “OK, get to work, immediately to toilet and alls good.”

My desks in a corner and none of my team were in that day. Can’t get rid of the smell totally but it won’t be terrible and I’d be well away from everyone else.

Then I have to go upstairs and spend the day in the very small secure room. Obviously the super cute girl I have a crush on is also working in there that day.

fibojoly ,

That would have been a good time to go full commando.

whyNotSquirrel ,
@whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works avatar

Is everyone in this comment section on a fiber only diet?

TwigletSparkle ,

Dude accidentally bought the +2 Jeans of Cure Constipation

halvar ,

Why is it always the shitting anonself greentexts that get me?

ma1w4re ,

First rule of living with constantly upset stomach: before ever trying to fart, go sit on the toilet. Preferably with pants off.

Fosheze ,

After I got my gallbladder out the nurse in the post op room told me that I should take a laxitive because they didn’t want me straining to poop.

Well let me tell you what you definitely don’t need immediately after getting you gallbladder out or for the next several months, if you guessed a laxitive then you’d be 110% correct. Holy shit it was bad. I didn’t even take the full dose. Just one fucking pill and I couldn’t so much a sneak a squeak for the next 12 hour without completely spray painting something. My gut is thankfully back to normal now nearly a year later but I still can’t bring myself to trust my farts. I’ve never so much as had a close call since then but I just can’t bring myself to trusting my ass. It burned that bridge.

SkaveRat ,

interesting. After my gallbladder removal, I didn’t have any trouble.

The only thing they said to me was “you’ll notice it if you eat anything super fatty”

Fosheze ,

I live right next to the state specifically known for producing the most and largest variety of cheeses in the world. I’m not going to let something as minor as some cataclysmic gastric distress get between me and my processed milk fat.

Joking aside my shits were apocalyptic for like a month after I got my gallbladder out regardless of what I ate. But my body is used to a very fat heavy diet and the doc told me my gall bladder looked like it had been fucked up for a while. So my body was probably overcompensating a bit on the bile.

ArmoredThirteen ,

Not gallbladder but my recent surgery they put me on a bunch of laxatives and softeners after, also for straining reasons. It took me five days before I pooped and it was an absolute landslide. I remember being super drugged, exclaiming to whoever was near me “I just had the riskiest fart in the world I need to get to the bathroom right now”

TxzK ,

I get really upset stomach when I travel. And I have a 6 hour train journey just today. Is the universe trying to tell me something?

Mouselemming ,

It’s telling you, “bring an extra pair of pants.”

magnetosphere ,
@magnetosphere@fedia.io avatar

I hate myself for wanting to know how the interview went

SkaveRat ,

shitty

BallsandBayonets ,

It’s not the jeans that are cursed…

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