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intensely_human ,

Write your name on the PC

GoodEye8 ,

What if they replace your name with your name. Is it still your name?

intensely_human ,

It’s your name in name only

Leate_Wonceslace ,

Okay, I know how to stop them. I’ll tell you the steps one at a time. First, take your meds.

Itte ,

Then?

Leate_Wonceslace ,

Wait for them to kick in. An hour should be plenty.

Maalus ,

Okay they kicked in. What next?

Leate_Wonceslace ,

If you still think it’s a problem, call your psychiatrist and explain what’s happening.

Maalus ,

Psychiatrists can’t help you with theseus gnomes, everyone knows that

GratefullyGodless ,
@GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world avatar

Especially since they could swap out every part of your psychiatrist between appointments, and then they’re not your psychiatrist anymore.

Maalus ,

And then the swapped psychiatrist will swap your meds thus doing the gnome’s work by proxy

yetAnotherUser ,

Just gift me the PC, I will protect it from the gnomes

Maalus ,

Can’t gift you the PC, it’s no longer mine

Leate_Wonceslace ,

I can attest that every theseus gnome problem I’ve ever had was resolved by a psychiatrist.

dumbass ,
@dumbass@leminal.space avatar

Don’t listen to this fool with his big pharma lies, what you gotta do is cover your computer desk with a layer of spray on glue, when you leave those little shits will come and get stuck, now you have your own magic prisoners!

I use mine yo help with small things, one of them is amazing at painting nails. Best 5 bucks I’ve spent.

papalonian ,

Is this why sometimes my computer says I don’t have permission to access my files?

Dorkyd68 ,

You’re not the administrator anymore dummy, the gnomes are. What you gotta do is wait until 3 am (peek gnome hour) and wait for them to emerge, hold one hostage and demand that gnome tech support reinstate you as admin. It’s pretty easy really, just use pepper jack cheese as bait, gnomes fucking live ppj cheese

maculata ,

Where the fuck did “Theseus Gnomes” come from?!?!

Ain’t no such thing in classical mythology.

starman2112 ,
@starman2112@sh.itjust.works avatar

Who do you think rebuilt the ship of theseus

It’s right in the name lol

papalonian ,

It’s made up, from the classic Theseus’s Ship paradox.

maculata ,

Ok fair enough.

mindbleach ,

Look, machine elves are union. Some people cheap out.

Reddfugee42 ,

Similarly, I’m pretty sure I’ve been raped by a ninja but how would you know?

Leate_Wonceslace ,

Cum stains.

Reddfugee42 ,

Maybe a novice but not a seasoned pro.

nikaaa ,

Pee on it to mark it.

FilthyShrooms ,

be me

using pc

need to pee

pees

Am I the only one who initially thought anon peeded his pants?

MrJameGumb ,
@MrJameGumb@lemmy.world avatar

It never actually says he didn’t piss his pants, just that he left the room briefly. It’s a greentext so for all we know he only left the room to get someone to help him change his diaper lol

SkaveRat ,

or get a mop

southsamurai ,
@southsamurai@sh.itjust.works avatar

Motherfucking Theseus gnomes. Always fucking shit up. They keep switching out my testicles. I have no idea where they came from.

Also, I thought it said thesaurus gnomes the first time I read it, which is still kinda funny.

KreekyBonez ,

it’s funny, comical, and humorous!

MeDuViNoX ,
@MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works avatar

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/8bad5a4e-583a-4cdf-bd15-1c61c331eaf2.gif

Mirthful even!

erusuoyera ,

Glad that’s not happening to me. I’ve had the same PC since 2007.

MxM111 ,

They also replaced every neuron in his brain.

umbrella ,
@umbrella@lemmy.ml avatar

be me

go pee

dark hallway

have to be fast so the darkness won’t catch me

xantoxis ,

you gotta put a piece of tape on there. if the tape moved then you know they did it

Annoyed_Crabby ,

What if they replace everything even the tape?

morrowind ,
@morrowind@lemmy.ml avatar

Easy, check your cpu’s cache. Also the unused portions of your disk and memory.

umbrella ,
@umbrella@lemmy.ml avatar

they do a full reimage of your disk, what do you think they are, amateurs?

morrowind ,
@morrowind@lemmy.ml avatar

Is that physically possible? Even if they can replace physical parts at absurd speeds, they may not be able to do full data transfer. Also, still the cache

can ,

You underestimate the gnomes

sugar_in_your_tea ,

And how long OP takes to pee.

MrJameGumb ,
@MrJameGumb@lemmy.world avatar

This must be a Chad post… All true cultured gentlemen have a proprietary blend of dried Mountain Dew and Cheeto dust coating all parts of their PCs that no gnome could ever replicate! To make everything extra secure one should also leave some personal deposits on all components for true biometric verification!

SatansMaggotyCumFart ,

The gnomes are gifted semen forgers.

MrJameGumb ,
@MrJameGumb@lemmy.world avatar

“Gifted Semen Forgers” should be the name of a death metal band

SatansMaggotyCumFart ,

Cum metal band.

Sanctus ,
@Sanctus@lemmy.world avatar

Take another hit of DMT, anon. You just need to break through.

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