Just got laid off from work. I’d be fucked if I had kids to feed now. Luckily I don’t and also enough savings to live off for two years if I had to. This is exactly the kind of stuff I don’t want that responsibility for.
Oh I’ll be fine. I’m a union member so my finances are covered no matter if I find a new job or not. I might even start my own company now that I have a good chance.
What did you hope to accomplish, publishing this comment in a community explicitly for child-free people? Did you think I was going to have a come to Jesus moment and turn my life around and become a parent because you posted this?
Noisy pestilent stupid destructive little goblins that demands your attention, resources and sleep lest they die. And should the child grow up to be dysfunctional shithead you are to blame. And should you recognize that you can't raise the child and give up for adoption, society brands you a failure and possibly induce massive trauma on the child.
But as my friend says: "they are cute while they're sleeping"
I'll attempt a real answer. I don't hate kids or the parents of kids who care for them and raise them to be good people.
I hate that societal pressures place having kids at the near top of life's implicit goals. I hate that my wife and I almost had kids because of these pressures, when neither of us really wanted it. And if it weren't for one (slightly older than us) couple we were friends with sharing that they were childfree, we would be there, and likely unhappy about it. So we speak out, not out of hate, but just to provide the other side, it ok to have kids... It's ok to not, it's a choice.
Totally fair. Societal pressure is something to completely ignore though. Everyone doing the ‘pressuring’ can go fuck right off.
I have a kid. Second one on the way. I also don’t like kids. None of them. I tolerate mine. I mean, I do all the good parenty things and stuff, but I can’t wait for them to grow into adults.
That’s the whole reason I want kids. Not because I want kids. But because I want adults I can call my children. Frankly, I don’t know why, I just know I do. And I’m prepared to make the endless sacrifices that come with it. And I totally understand other people who don’t want to do it.
Also, I hope to be able to raise some decent humans. The world can use those. It seems like assholes are breeding like crazy. I hope to offset that a little.
I don’t hate kids, but it would be a horrific nightmare for everyone involved if I had some of my own. Never wanted them, never will. I do adore my niece.
it’s okay to not want them, but calling them “shitty fucking kids” or “crotch goblins” or other stupid names is a different matter and only reflects badly on the person who says these things
I’m can usually have 2-3 drinks and be fine… but if I get caught up with friends and go over that, yeah I sleep like absolute shit. I won’t even be hung over (I drink a ton of water, hydrate while consuming alcohol!!) but I still sleep awful.
Do you post about other stuff you don’t have or is it just children? Like do you post in different gaming consoles communities to say you don’t have that console.
I’m not arguing with the fact you don’t have children, I’m all for it, in fact. You should live life the way you want as long as it doesn’t harm others mentally or physically.
But an entire community dedicated to not having something screams that you’re not ok with this that it needs to be spoken about to be reassured, that it takes up more of your brain than not having other things would take up.
I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t understand the reason this community exists?
Why do you go into other communities to complain about someone’s posts? An entire condescending post dedicated to complaining about something that has zero effect on your life - why bother? You could just ignore it, or even downvote it, and then just move on.
Having or not having children is a significant life decision. Maybe people want to talk about it? That’s why this community exists.
It exists because people are constantly flooded by a torrent of pressure to have children by society, and this is a place for a little catharsis and relief. Relief that there are a small number of people that won’t pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do. It’s a place for like-minded people to blow off steam.
I don’t personally come to this or similar communities, even though I don’t plan on having kids. I understand why it exists though.
For one, there’s a “community” that goes nuts over you not having something and will interject every time they get a chance even when unprompted and continuously question your decision and try to sway you another way.
Having a place to go to vent or talk is pretty nice when you have to deal with those individuals especially when many are surrounded by them and are made to feel “not normal” for it.
There’s a community for everything, it’s kind of the point of the internet, to be able to connect with like minded individuals.
Why do communities exist for - to pick an example - atheists? In lots of parts of the world, there is huge social pressure to conform to a specific religion. If you decide not to, or leave the religion, or have questions, it can be a terrifying and lonely experience.
It’s the same here. Lots of us feel huge pressure from family, friends, co-workers, and society to do something that we don’t want to do. So it is nice to have a community where we can discuss that and reassure each other. Because it is difficult to do what is right when everyone is telling you you’re wrong.
Must admit, I didn’t see it from this angle. Perhaps because of my personal experience in life and the few people in my social circle have never been pressured into having kids, it’s just not really been a thing in my 40 odd years on the planet. Perhaps cultural differences etc, either way adjusting my view point to be that of people constantly being pressured to have kids when they don’t want kids/can’t have kids allows me to understand the community’s existence.
Social conditioning plays big role. Of course there are people who genuinely want become parents. But majority of people think that having a child is an inevitable stage in human life. Because of social pressure most people don’t realize that parenthood is a choice. That you can freely say NO to having a baby and nothing will happen. Life will go on, the God won’t punish you, skies won’t fall on your head.
I wonder if some people just don’t really have hobbies or interests they find fulfilling. If my life were work, binge a series, sleep, I think I’d be much less opposed to having children. (I still have my moral issues etc but just in terms of not having that time to relax/pursue interests.)
Edit: The more I think about this, the more I can think of examples in my own life. The folks who habe hobbies that are mostly around screentime (gaming, movies, shows) are much more enthusiastic about kids whereas most of my friends who are my outdoorsy, into sports or other active hobbies are much more reluctant. Obviously there are exceptions but as a general trend it seems to hold.
Self actualisation is a thing a lot of people can’t face. Many seem to outsource that to their children and living through them, not even realising that’s someone else’s life and they’re avoiding their own.
Most people are brainwashed into thinking they need to provide for the meat grinder. I’m glad you did what made you happy rather than what was expected of you. Enjoy your peaceful relaxation with no burdens.
I’m in Seattle, and while pubs/bars are 21+, it’s up to breweries whether they want to allow kids.
One of my favorite local breweries recently decided to switch to all ages, and it was really disappointing. Doesn’t seem crazy to hope for a kid-free experience at a place that exists to serve beer.
I prefer to support breweries directly, but I’m not going to pay to go somewhere I need to deal with other people’s kids.
Depends, uk licensing laws are complex… for example a pub with an area set aside for serving a substantive meal may be permitted children in those areas only if they are eating with adults.
A restaurant with a pub/bar attached, even if completely openly attached so looks exactly the same as the pub example above, will almost certainly be permitted to serve children food without an adult present (at least legally, some may have policies against that).
As a parent anytime my daughter acted up one of us would take her outside. She would lose her audience and no one wants to hear that. We only had to do that a few tines before just saying “if you keep this up I’m going to take you out side” would put an end to the fit…now that being said my daughter was generally a very easy child to raise and I know that is not always the case.
My dad did this with me. I started wailing in church and he took me out to the car in summer with a window cracked. Eventually I had enough, stopped, and said “I’m hot”. I’ll never forget his wise words:
Yeah well I’m hot too but it’s your fault we’re out here.
Our neighbors do the same, especially on weekend mornings while the rest of the neighborhood is still asleep. Outside isn’t necessarily a location where you’re not bothering anyone.
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