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StaySquared ,

There’s only one bear I would have as a pet…

Red panda.

pearsaltchocolatebar ,

From what I’ve heard they’re basically like a dog with opposable thumbs, which sounds like an awful pet.

Aceticon ,

Well, it’s fucked up for them that the bipedes made up of delicious meat have guns…

Colour_me_triggered ,

Polar bears look closer to how a giant killing machine is supposed to look.

Archelon ,

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/339c2d48-248c-485e-87f2-b2bd850ee40d.jpeg

MeDuViNoX ,
@MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works avatar

Feeling cute, might eviscerate later!

LazyPhilosopher ,

Can I pet that dog?

MeDuViNoX ,
@MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works avatar

Only once.

mechoman444 ,

Well, they won’t kill you right away… They’ll toy with you for a while then kill you.

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot ,

Worth it.

uriel238 ,
@uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Oh, if you’re particular to the white ones, it’s the -40° that’ll kill you. Not the bear.

wieson ,

Yeah… the -40° and the opened abdomen

vrighter ,

celsius or fahrenheit?

fjordbasa ,

Yes

Colour_me_triggered ,

Both

wieson ,

I got another one:

The -40° acute angle of your neck

Anticorp ,

They’ll both kill ya, it’s just that the cold is more likely to get to you first if you’re unprepared. If you’re prepared then the bear will have a nice wrapped meal.

uriel238 ,
@uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

As the bodies on Mount Everest shows us, it’s easy to not be prepared for the levels of cold it can get in some places on earth such as the poles.

Fun trivia: In To Build A Fire which takes place in the Yukon, Jack London notes that it’s -70°

This is to say, the secret ending is that the dog didn’t make it (or did only by a miracle of probability).

Anticorp ,

My favorite poem ever about the cold is The Cremation Of Sam McGee.

uriel238 ,
@uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Tigers are fairly common household pets in places like India, since they very much are like cats and are glad to be a cuddle-bug for free food. However this is at the risk that the tiger will forget herself and maul you in a moment of playfulness or annoyed aggression. And once you’re dead, well, there’s one last meal you can offer before it’s back to life in the jungle.

This is not to say all tigers are amenable. Some are just assholes.

Same with bears, and people have lived alongside bears for eons, knowing full well that alliance only lasts until famine comes a’knocking once again. (Grim fact, – relevant considering famine in Palestine – enough famine will drive us social apes to turn on each other and go full cannibal, which is why it’s regarded as a major humanitarian crisis, and cruel to induce. It’s also why Bron killed all the known thieves in anticipation of the imminent siege.)

In the meantime, Grizzly Man lived with bears for ten years before getting killed by an unfamiliar one that was just a jerk.

TowardsTheFuture ,

Tigers also kill people way more often than bears.

Stats on this are hard to compare because black bears are responsible for 1.2 kills in the US per year and tigers are like 34 kills per year in India which does have like 4x the population of humans, but also there’s a LOT less tigers to do that killing [like 5,000 tigers to 400,000 black bears] So like… yeah.

Anticorp ,

Most of those 400k black bears will never see people though. They live in the wilds. Only a small percentage of bears come into contact with people, and they know they’re the boss.

Illuminostro ,

Cats like to play rough. A housecat who does can hurt you. Imagine a full grown tiger who decides to play. I saw a trainer interview who said a 6 month tiger cub is absolutely lethal. I believe him.

Anticorp ,

I think it was the animal trainer for the Gladiator movie who said that you can turn your back on lions, and treat them like dogs, but you better never turn your back on one of the tigers, or you’re dead.

Sentau ,

Tigers are fairly common household pets in places like India

Are you sure this statement is true¿? I never heard about any story of anybody having a fucking tiger as a pet

uriel238 , (edited )
@uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

My evidence is anecdotal, such as videos of people lounging with a tiger in their living room. There’s also the weird thing in the…90s? Where driving around in a large car with a tiger was a dare-sport thing (which is why it appears as an activity in Saints Row: The Third )

I believe it’s not exactly legal to keep tigers or large cats as pets in industrialized parts of the world (at least not without proper holding cells) but there are huge parts of the world that are less industrialized and are not sufficiently policed to stop symbiotic social relationships between humans and wild animals.

On a similar thread, cheetahs are notoriously easy to domesticate, to the point that they’re a problem. If you go out to cheetah territory, say in Kenya, and feed one, it may decide you’re their buddy for life and follow you home. Unlike black bears in Montana or Wyoming that assault tourists for food when they learn that’s a source, it’s for the protection of the currently endangered cheetah population.

As for other large cats, I don’t know how often they companion up. Here in the states, we have mountain lions, but we also have ranger services to police both the lions and the tourists. I suspect in places like Nepal where there are human settlements removed enough from industry there also may be negotiations between leopards and humans with positive outcomes. But that is speculation. I haven’t seen videos of that.

ETA: Scanning news, apparently in 2024 there are a lot of tigers-as-pets in Texas of all places, which is a lot more contrived since it’s not adopting and befriending the beastie from the nearby jungle, but importing them in to be domesticated.

Sentau ,

I have heard about wealthy people all over the world keeping big cats as pets but those are always kept in cages or their own enclosures. What seems wrong is you claiming that regular people are keeping tigers as pet. Infact people and tigers are more in conflict due to encroachment of humans into formerly forested areas.

emergencyfood ,

Indian here. Tigers are not household pets, as keeping them is illegal. Hell, keeping a body part of a dead tiger requires a permit, and is only allowed under very rare circumstances. Tigers have better protections under Indian law than humans.

Larry ,

Tigers are not common household pets in India

Anticorp ,

The unfamiliar one wasn’t just a jerk, it was sick. He talks about how he’s pretty sure that bear was going to eat him if it stuck around, and sure enough, that bear ate him. You’d think he’d choose not to stick around since the bear was obviously contemplating a tasty meal, but nope. He not only stayed there, he brought his girlfriend along as a side dish.

Sorgan71 ,

Bro its just a liberal hoax. Just go hug him he loves you.

niktemadur ,

They won’t just kill you. They fuckin’ EAT you.

Everythingispenguins ,

Seriously, polar bears are one of the few animals in the world that see humans as prey and a legitimate food source.

There are many animals that can kill you, very very few that will eat you.

finkrat ,

Humanity: having an obesity epidemic

Polar Bears: “increased fat stores?? D E L I C I O U S”

Everythingispenguins ,

Well you average American does have more blubber than an arctic seal.

I can see a really interesting plan here we can save the polar bears and reduce the pressure humans are putting on the planet. Win Win

DragonTypeWyvern ,

We’re preparing for the Resource Wars

Anticorp ,

House cats will eat you if you die alone in a house with them.

Everythingispenguins ,

That is why I always make sure they have extra food.

Honestly though they will lick your face right off. I wouldn’t suggest looking up pictures of this.

BonesOfTheMoon ,

Still choosing the bear, men.

KillingTimeItself ,

this bear isn’t in the forest though.

A7thStone ,

From the downvotes I can tell some jimmies are still very rustled.

joneskind ,
@joneskind@lemmy.world avatar

Yeah that’s basically a big chubby doggo!

CumBroth ,
@CumBroth@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

If not friend, why friend-shaped? :(

Allonzee ,

I understand why they kill us.

In addition to destroying their habitats for strip malls, we rope them into entirely too many of our rhetorical infighting arguments.

ValiantDust , (edited )

It must be unbearable for them.

Allonzee ,

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/f05e5595-269c-48d9-8fb2-5de84ff03d96.gif

ValiantDust ,

I’m sorry, I never can resist poking the bear.

knightmare1147 ,

I can bearly stand these puns.

finkrat ,

At least we put them on pretty 3D animated carbonated beverage advertisements for Christmastime for a while, that must’ve felt really nice until you consider that humans are exploiting your cute and cuddly experience to increase shareholder revenue due to sales of an unnecessarily sugared beverage made with tropical fruit seeds

hakunawazo ,

We also taunt them with solidified gelatine sweets.
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/aeca3a8a-5f21-46b1-a634-affb3832fc08.jpeg

Reygle ,
@Reygle@lemmy.world avatar

can WILL

TowardsTheFuture ,

I mean, they very likely won’t, but you do you.

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