I dont know. Really. Got no clue why I’m having so hard time connecting to people. Not just love either, I’m just as bad at getting new friends. Or connecting with family. Feels like I missed a class on social life that everyone else went through. I’ve tried asking people directly how I’m doing wrong. For other people it is so natural that they dont even know how they are doing it and cant tell. “Just talk with people.”
Don’t want kids and am a guy. Attractive women who also don’t want kids are goddamn unicorns and it’d be cruel to settle for someone I’m not into. So, working on myself until I can date people I’m into. Or dying single, we’ll see.
I really prefer going solo. My individual freedom is fantastic, I get to do whatever it is I wish, when and how I do.
Trying to find that special one was super exhausting and it was a genuine relief when I realized I don’t actually have to chase that dream others created for me.
Jup. Trying to figure out how to get friends or connect with people, and forcing myself into social stuff, it nearly broke me 10 years or so ago. The idea that my happiness is my responsibility, I cant wait around for someone else, it was a relief. (Or a coping mechanism? Idk, im no psychologist.)
I had a 15 year marriage that ended rough, and I’ve spent the last three years of it and the last year out of it, basically suicidal. I’ve gone on a date or two, and realized I can’t be happy with anyone until I’m happy. I try more every day, but it’s hard to shake off the idea that the love of your life already came and went, and everything from here on out is just like, some old piece of machinery trying to stay relevant in a world that doesn’t need or want it anymore. Online dating also feels more like a ripoff than something actually meant to work and I’ve decided if I ever do date, it will just be inside my current friend circle, and since there’s no one there… hm, yep.
It will come, hang in there and give it time. When my wife of 11 years left with our two children I thought it was the end of the world. Turned out there was another life waiting that was even better (apart from not getting to seeing my kids every day). Being with someone you love who actually loves you back, who lifts you up instead of bringing you down… that feeling is amazing.
I had a 15 year marriage that ended rough, and I’ve spent the last three years of it and the last year out of it, basically suicidal.
Sorry to hear this, it’s rough when you are in the thick of it but I’ve had a few friends go though this 10+ years ago and, while the first few years are rocky (I was close to contacting one friend’s family to stage some kind of intervention), it does get better. Never be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
I’ve gone on a date or two, and realized I can’t be happy with anyone until I’m happy.
It’s definitely a lesson a lot of us have learned the hard way.
it’s hard to shake off the idea that the love of your life already came and went
That’s definitely a nagging feeling you get after a break-up, it fades with time as you realise there’s no such thing as the love of your life, there are plenty of people out there for you.
Online dating also feels more like a ripoff than something actually meant to work
Another lesson we learn the hard way - if daring apps were successful they’d shut down in 6 months. Parr of their business model has to be maintaining a body of users that are unhappy but think the next match could be The One.
Good luck with everything. From what I’ve seen, it feels like you are almost out the other side of the worst if it.
When i was very young i got bullied by everybody by saying that i loved a girl because of that I don’t want any romantic relationships and enjoy the perks of being single