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How do you get over the fact that not everyone will like you?

It’s obvious and you would be deluded into thinking everyone you interact with likes you.

But how do you feel it?

Context: I’m a course instructor and I get direct reviews on my lessons and around 95% of feedback is positive to very positive.

There’s less than 5% of my reviews that have real negative and non-constructive comments. Things like accusations of being incompetent or unprepared or full of shit, etc. They mention times I had technical difficulties or made a mistake (like giving an incorrect response)

Just by the numbers alone this is a very small minority overall. Yet these comments stick in my head and make me doubt my abilities.

So what are your strategies or ways you drown out this stuff?

sbv ,

I viscerally dislike some people on meeting them. There’s no good reason, that’s just how it is. I bet there are people who feel the same way about me. That’s life.

I try to treat everyone well so we can get along. For the most part, other people seem to do the same for me.

originalucifer ,
@originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com avatar

i like me.

everyone else is optional

shinigamiookamiryuu ,

What if I don’t like me?

friek ,

I feel this comment in my bones.

Ste41th ,

To make my systems go, welcome to the new age to the new age

intensely_human ,

I joined a men’s group and started working through my trauma.

viking ,
@viking@infosec.pub avatar

I just don’t care. Just like I don’t expect people to care whether I like them.

Life’s too short to have an opinion on everything and anyone.

crazyminner ,

I just don’t give a shit.

HobbitFoot ,

I have a job where it is my job to say no. That means I’m not going to get liked by everyone.

It is more important to do my job right than to be liked by everyone.

thesushicat ,

Fellow teacher here! During my first 5 years or so teaching, I was so sensitive to negative feedback. Comments were overwhelmingly positive but I’d really wince at negative comments. I’ve grown a thicker skin since then, and more importantly I’ve come to believe in myself and I know I’m good at what I do. So, experience and confidence.

tiefling ,

I’m a performer and a teacher. I know for a fact not everyone likes me, or likes everything I do (which involves a lot of freaky shit). I don’t do what I do for them. I do it for the people who do enjoy it, and try to make it a point to come out to my classes or shows. I very much appreciate those people.

ravhall ,

I stopped caring. Most people just love to complain. They’re not even thinking about you as much as themselves. Just imagine they’re people from Lemmy. Random people saying dumb things in an attempt to make themselves feel superior because they are lacking something in life.

Do your best, try not to fuck with people, and know that no one exists but you.

Zier ,
@Zier@fedia.io avatar

Some people are just looking for something to complain about because they are unhappy people anyway. That has nothing to do with you.
Some people are complete idiots, go read some Amazon reviews. My favorite is about a Rice Paddle (plastic) that you only use with an electric rice maker. One reviewer said it was crap because it melted. Clearly they used it with a regular pan and had no idea what they bought.
If you like yourself and the people you care about and respect like you, no one else really matters. It's nice to be liked, but respecting and caring for yourself is the most important thing to remember.
And sometimes (too many times actually), having some people like you can be a liability. Some people are just horrible and will latch on to you and spread their toxicity. It can be a real gift to not be liked by these people. Not being liked is not always a bad thing. The Sun shines on both sides of the planet!

friend_of_satan ,

Do you like everyone? Probably not. Just because people don’t like each other doesn’t mean something is wrong. You can even love somebody and want nothing to do with them.

over_clox ,

Walk away, go home and enjoy your life. Block them if they’re online pricks.

Move on, carry on, smoke a joint and pet a kitten or puppy or something.

shinigamiookamiryuu ,

The last time I and my surrounding people rubbed the wrong way, I asked why. I sought to see if something was wrong and at once they told me, even if in the second instance I was not informed. If there is no coordination, how they treat me is their doing. Years of being beat around would reinforce this. If the masses do something wrong, contrary to how many think of it, it doesn’t become right just because they’re the masses.

toomanypancakes ,
@toomanypancakes@lemmy.world avatar

I go in assuming no one will like me and then I’m just pleasantly surprised whenever they do. Like, only 5% didn’t like you? Not too fucking shabby, well done!

dumbass ,
@dumbass@leminal.space avatar

Well I dont like everyone, so I have to assume that not everyone would like me.

There’s the old saying if you’re not pissing someone off, you’re not doing it right, also some people love to complain when given the opportunity, so take that with a grain of salt.

If the majority of feedback is good, then you’re fine, fuckthem whinging pricks, you keep smashing it in spite of the 5%.

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