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Can I be picked up from my mom's house as a date since I am an adult?

So she’s kind of been reluctant in people knowing where she lives. And from my understanding you can just leave if you want but when it comes to her house. And since yeah it’s her house I do wonder where the boundary lays. So I am an adult yes and my mom is out right now with my sister taking care of me and staying around the house which has me worried but she said she would be back either Sunday or Monday and I’m planning on taking my chances Sunday. But seriously what is the rules as it comes down to there are cameras my sister has access to so I think she might see me leaving anyway and question me on this. So what exactly are my rights as an adult? Can someone pick me up in the driveway and we just leave together and then come back home? I do think even if I leave and come back home that can show some form of trust and then I can eventually tell my mom what I did when she gets back home. I even hope I can use my recent birthday as an excuse to start dating. But the main point I want to bring up is if I can tell someone where I live and have them pick me up outside the house?

doingthestuff ,

I’m guessing you don’t have a car. Is there somewhere nearby you could walk to or bicycle to, for someone to meet you and pick you up? Then you would only be on camera leaving the house, not breaking any house rules. This isn’t about law, this is about your relationship with your mother. You can do what you want, but different actions may have different results in your family dynamics.

apotheotic ,

Others have already addressed the main points of your post, but I would just like to add:

Please be very certain that the person you are giving your address to is someone you can trust. Do you already know them in real life, or did you meet them online?

turnerpike20 OP ,

Online

turnerpike20 OP ,

Through Facebook dating.

Palacegalleryratio ,

How old are you? You’re an adult, but your sister is taking care of you, and you’re worried about your mum finding out you’ve been on a date? What?

What is this? There is some information missing here to make it make sense. Are you part of a restrictive cult? Are you actually 15yo? There must be something else going on here!

turnerpike20 OP ,

My mom is on rehab after an owi so she’s out for a month. I don’t drive so I have no ability to go out my sister is basically here to make sure the house is okay and I have the things I need.

abekonge ,

Are you being held prisoner by your family? Why is your sister taking care of you? Why is she watching you with cameras?

There might be a lot of context that explains these things. But just reading your post it sounds like you need counsel or professional help. Take care.

turnerpike20 OP ,

The cameras are on the outside and will send a notification if movement is detected.

TheBigBrother ,

If it’s your house and you pay the bills you can make the rules, if isn’t your house and you pay no bills you will have to follow the rules, it doesn’t matter how much old are you actually.

KingJalopy ,

User name checks out here

turnerpike20 OP ,

What does that mean?

turnerpike20 OP ,

I’ve become 25.

velox_vulnus ,

I read the post thrice, and I’m still not sure what the fuck I’ve read.

TWeaK ,

If you’re an adult then legally you’re a tenant, and you have all the rights of a tenant living with a landlord. Given that you almost certainly don’t have a written contract, there aren’t really any additional terms she can impose that go beyond a standard tenancy agreement.

To be clear, most jurisdictions treat a tenant living with a landlord slightly different to a tenant living privately in a separate property. So if you want to look up your rights for where you live you need to make sure it’s for that kind of cohabiting situation.

However, your mom can’t just kick you out, legally. She has to formally evict you using the same process any other landlord would evict their tenant. If she did kick you out or change the locks, you would be within your rights to call the police and have them mediate to grant access to your home.

As a tenant, you are allowed to have guests over. Not just waiting outside or on the driveway to pick you up, but inside and maybe even occasional overnight stays. Although again this may be where living with the landlord makes it slightly different.

All of this is underscored by the non-legal parts - your relationship with your mother and your continued tenancy. She can evict you, and if you fall out then she may well do that. Just because the law is on your side doesn’t necessarily mean your mom will want or have to maintain a relationship with you. A balanced position might be to assert your rights while trying not to be a dick about it and offering a fair compromise with your mom. I would say meeting your boyfriend in your driveway is a reasonable compromise, however she might not see it that way.

doingthestuff ,

A lot of places don’t work like you’re describing.

PixTupy ,

This seems like something you all should be discussing in family therapy.

Crackhappy ,
@Crackhappy@lemmy.world avatar

Is there some sort of overriding reason that your mom has chosen to obscure her address? If not, then no, there is no reason to accede to these ridiculous demands.

doingthestuff ,

The reason is her mom could kick her out.

takeda ,

So first of all, your mom is reluctant in letting others know where she lives. It has nothing to do with rights but with decency and respecting her wishes.

As when it comes to your rights, actually you have very little as an adult. Technically now your mom could say that you have to move out and if she did that you would be on your own even if that would mean being homeless.

Since you are so eager to go on a date, asking about your rights wrt your mom I think you likely don’t understand why your mom is concerned and sound like an easy prey to someone that can just use you and you will deeply regret shortly after.

Why not meet someone in normal circumstances (like school, work etc) instead dating strangers?

Remember that having additional privileges is a small part of being adult, much bigger are responsibilities that you get and consequences of bad decisions that you make.

Don’t start your adult life with something you might regret.

It’s funny that kids wish they were adults while adults wish they were kids again.

TWeaK ,

This is wrong. Because OP is now an adult they are legally a tenant and thus OP’s mom would have to formally evict OP.

doingthestuff ,

Not true in a lot of places.

desentizised ,

Found the sister.

thefactremains ,

There’s no legal reason you can’t do whatever you want.

There’s also no legal reason for your mom and sister to let you keep living there.

The worst-case scenario is that your mother kicks you out of the house. Which, in my opinion, wouldn’t be a bad thing for you if they do this because they’re upset you went on a date.

You only live once

TWeaK ,

She can’t just kick OP out, OP is an adult and thus legally a tenant. If OP’s mom wants OP gone, she has to go through the formal eviction process and serve proper notice.

skeletorfw ,

Depending on where OP is, that’s not strictly true. If you are in a situation such as this, at least within the UK, you are not strictly entitled to the rights of a tenant if you do not pay rent nor do anything in lieu of rent.

Basically in the UK if you do not have a tenancy agreement, cohabitation agreement, or license to occupy, then it can start getting very complicated. If they were named as a property owner, or had a common understanding of financial interest in the property, they might be able to fight for a stake of the house, but that isn’t really the point here. In the end whether they can be kicked out legally is a complex issue (at least in the UK) and not really a question we could answer here.

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