I just turned 30 and I am pretty sure a woman is not worth it if she does not provide you peace at home and is constantly looking for drama and conflict. Spent my youth chasing lost causes
As a guy at least in my experience, whenever I leave home I am faced with constant criticism and I have come to the realization that I simply do not have the capacity for it at home as well
As a stone-age person on Lemmy (47) allow me a response please.
First of all, I agree with you. Spent my 20s going through the motions thinking “maybe I just won’t meet someone I can bear to be with in the long term”.
And then I met her.
But in some respects she also met me at the right time. My assumptions about what I needed to help fix changed. My way of talking to women about their day, their challenges, their ambitions slowly morphed. So I don’t know if “she was perfect for me” or I had finally learnt how the differences between biological males and biological females drove how we communicated, what we needed and expected from each other, allowed me to finally commit to a long term relationship. We’ve been together for 17 years, married for 15. She drives me mad at times, and most days she wants to strangle me slowly, but despite all those small details, we also make each other laugh till we can’t breathe, we agree on almost everything (probably why the small disagreements become so “important”), we manage to parent four kids relatively well and when we finally find the time to have a day by ourselves, I am reminded why I fell in love with her.
I guess I’m trying to tell you that it might still happen to you too.
I’m only a few years older than you, but I agree. And I’ll also say that some (respectful) criticism at home is ok, and if I’m honest, should be expected.
We’re all not perfect and can’t expect to get nothing but praise or adoration from our partners, nor should it be expected of us. But all criticism should come from a place of love and respect; it’s not your partner against you about a problem, it’s you and your partner against a problem.
Healthy relationships require hard conversations like that, but no one deserves to be in a relationship where they can’t feel comfortable to be themselves without being attacked for it (with some obvious exceptions).
fucking relax, take a break sometimes, let time fly and just don’t give a shit
“but I have responsibilities!!!”
fuck em, put your legs up on the coffee table and I dunno… just stop and think about the minute shit around you. or reminisce. have you called jon recently? fuuuuck man you should hit him up. ohhh you can’t arrange a date to meet? then fucking get that one day yourself to meet with him whenever he can
i see so many people over 30 be overworked, overstressed and downright complacent with all the shit they have to go through
just fuck it all for at least one day man, cause if that’s what life’s supposed to be then i don’t wanna get old, just to be surrounded by those who are letting all of life’s bullshit control every little fiber of them
I’ve thought about this from time to time. Have we been kind of a neurotic generation? I could never tell if it was just me that was seeing things or what. The under 30s seems more indifferent. Might be because they are mostly the children of Gen-X? Are over 30s a bit uptight? How did we end up this way?
From personal experience growing up so many kids were obsessed with the rat race from way too young. That whole mindset that you must to university to get all your credentials to fit yourself into a cookie cutter. The defacto life track until the illusion started to crack.
All in all I think the over 30 generation has a really hard time with self reflection. In particular talking about the faults of our own generation. Which is paradoxical against the whole mental health awareness stuff.
This is interesting - not the advice itself, but for what it suggests under-30s think the over 30s are like, which is that they’re people who’ve not read nearly enough self-help books from the table at the front of the book store.
Previous injuries I had when I was young. Like my knee from a baseball injury a long time ago. They just randomly flare up now. But brand new? Lower back. I swear some days it’s like a flip of a coin.
Living is an art. I grew up in a very rich neighborhood, and despite their wealth, many were troubled. Tons of high functioning drug addicts, alcoholics, Hoarders, narcissists, etc. it was kind of surreal.
We also had a family friend who was poor, not verge of homelessness poor, but impoverished relative to the town we lived. Like everyone, he had his fair share of problems, and worked a lot, but he was happy. Very few things deeply troubled him and he always maintained a calm and collected demeanor. Extremely intelligent too. When I was down, upset, angry, or outright furious, he was always there to impart his wisdom, and I am a better man for it.
Seemingly few people recognize the crucial art of living. Not to live without problems but live in spite of them. So many miserable, privileged people I’ve met in that town.
The advice I’m most scared not to follow as I get older: don’t dismiss everything that the younger generations say or do as being just a trend, and learn more about it.
Give less of a shit of what your peers will think of you, do your own thing as much as you’re able. And also read leftist shit, be it Marx or Goldman, that will make you a better person overall.
Get out and make friends. Yes I know it gets harder as you get older, but it’s often the difference between dying alone and demented young and sticking around and finding happiness until your body gives out.
Also, remember your grandparents and parents from time to time after they’re gone. It hurts but it’s good for you.
I’m in a weird spot here at 30 years old, but let’s see…
My advice to younger people would be to take care of their mental health, and to do it via scientific practices.
For example, cognitive behavioral therapy has enough evidence of it working; therapy through spirits, don’t. Medication can be necessary and its effectiveness is proven; that’s not the case for extreme diets.
Also, philosophical counseling is a thing and it is good, but just like psychotherapy, it may not be enough. Sometimes we are dealing with mental disorders that require pharmacological treatment. Conversely, psychiatry and medication are there for people who need it, but sometimes we don’t need it and we need better habits, better environment, counseling, etc. It is usually a combination of many things the way we can start feeling better.
I’ll still read the advice from others because, well, I’m sure I can learn a lot from them.
Edit: I thought it was the other way around. Oh, well, it still applies. I wish my parents and other people their age would give mental health treatments a try.
Haha. It’s an inside joke from the person who made this post. OP is, i believe, a Bitcoin guy who has interacted with the Monero community
Since you asked, Monero is a privacy-focused cryptocurrency. You can buy some cool stuff online with it, like 1 month VPN access from Mullvad, using xmrbazaar.com which is an eBay like site which accepts monero, and VPS and domain names through njal.la
Definitely a pretty niche thing but it’s a growing community. We don’t show up much on the internet because of the privacy-focused thing; we don’t really frequent twitter, etc, although some do.
Your welcome 😊 I tend not to bring up crypto outside the crypto community (except when it’s an inside joke) because of the scammy connotations. And there’s definitely a lot more scams out there that promise you the world than real, grassroots projects. I’ve binged a lot of Coffeezilla on youtube, he has very good and entertaining coverage on crypto scams :)