I may be 32, but I can throw in my own thoughts here. Stop paying attention to "societal norms". Societal norms are just there to control people. Do what you love. Watch cartoons and listen to whatever music you want to. You don't have to be an adult at all times. Take a break once in a while.
Considering the vast majority of people that walk around naked in the public locker room without an ounce of shame are people over 50 or over 60, I find this comment has got it backwards. There seems to be a universal constant that the older you get, the less you care about what other people think. I know I have experienced this myself, and most older people I ask tend to agree vehemently. It also explains why so many young people are embarrassed by their parents.
My advice to teens and people in their early twenties: don’t worry what other people think of you. No one else is thinking about you much at all.
I’m in a weird spot here at 30 years old, but let’s see…
My advice to younger people would be to take care of their mental health, and to do it via scientific practices.
For example, cognitive behavioral therapy has enough evidence of it working; therapy through spirits, don’t. Medication can be necessary and its effectiveness is proven; that’s not the case for extreme diets.
Also, philosophical counseling is a thing and it is good, but just like psychotherapy, it may not be enough. Sometimes we are dealing with mental disorders that require pharmacological treatment. Conversely, psychiatry and medication are there for people who need it, but sometimes we don’t need it and we need better habits, better environment, counseling, etc. It is usually a combination of many things the way we can start feeling better.
I’ll still read the advice from others because, well, I’m sure I can learn a lot from them.
Edit: I thought it was the other way around. Oh, well, it still applies. I wish my parents and other people their age would give mental health treatments a try.
You realize 31 year olds were only 10 when YouTube came out? They have lived nearly their whole lives with it. Why do so many people under 30 think anyone over 30 is 50 years old?
Dude my mom is 60 and uses youtube all the time, why do people also think 60 is 89?
Now my (now dead) 89yo relatives? Yeah they didn’t use youtube, one of them had a rotary phone until the phone company stopped supporting them in like 2009 and then he had no phone and no internet until the day he died. Had to drive to his house or send him a letter.
When someone is having a computer problem I ask them to restart first. Not because I think they don’t know to do it, but just in case. Some people don’t know. Sometimes people forget. Obvious advice is useful sometimes.
Children (be they your own or unrelated children you have responsibility for) are people, not property or pets or whatever. Treat them as such. They’re just people with less experience and more vulnerability.
Previous injuries I had when I was young. Like my knee from a baseball injury a long time ago. They just randomly flare up now. But brand new? Lower back. I swear some days it’s like a flip of a coin.
This is interesting - not the advice itself, but for what it suggests under-30s think the over 30s are like, which is that they’re people who’ve not read nearly enough self-help books from the table at the front of the book store.
I just turned 30 and I am pretty sure a woman is not worth it if she does not provide you peace at home and is constantly looking for drama and conflict. Spent my youth chasing lost causes
As a guy at least in my experience, whenever I leave home I am faced with constant criticism and I have come to the realization that I simply do not have the capacity for it at home as well
As a stone-age person on Lemmy (47) allow me a response please.
First of all, I agree with you. Spent my 20s going through the motions thinking “maybe I just won’t meet someone I can bear to be with in the long term”.
And then I met her.
But in some respects she also met me at the right time. My assumptions about what I needed to help fix changed. My way of talking to women about their day, their challenges, their ambitions slowly morphed. So I don’t know if “she was perfect for me” or I had finally learnt how the differences between biological males and biological females drove how we communicated, what we needed and expected from each other, allowed me to finally commit to a long term relationship. We’ve been together for 17 years, married for 15. She drives me mad at times, and most days she wants to strangle me slowly, but despite all those small details, we also make each other laugh till we can’t breathe, we agree on almost everything (probably why the small disagreements become so “important”), we manage to parent four kids relatively well and when we finally find the time to have a day by ourselves, I am reminded why I fell in love with her.
I guess I’m trying to tell you that it might still happen to you too.
I’m only a few years older than you, but I agree. And I’ll also say that some (respectful) criticism at home is ok, and if I’m honest, should be expected.
We’re all not perfect and can’t expect to get nothing but praise or adoration from our partners, nor should it be expected of us. But all criticism should come from a place of love and respect; it’s not your partner against you about a problem, it’s you and your partner against a problem.
Healthy relationships require hard conversations like that, but no one deserves to be in a relationship where they can’t feel comfortable to be themselves without being attacked for it (with some obvious exceptions).
Yep, this is what I’m going to do. I’m in my 30s now and I’m going to start travelling. I was going to wait until I was in my 40s but I realized nothing is promised so I might as well go ahead and do it now.
Get out and make friends. Yes I know it gets harder as you get older, but it’s often the difference between dying alone and demented young and sticking around and finding happiness until your body gives out.
Also, remember your grandparents and parents from time to time after they’re gone. It hurts but it’s good for you.
The advice I’m most scared not to follow as I get older: don’t dismiss everything that the younger generations say or do as being just a trend, and learn more about it.
Living is an art. I grew up in a very rich neighborhood, and despite their wealth, many were troubled. Tons of high functioning drug addicts, alcoholics, Hoarders, narcissists, etc. it was kind of surreal.
We also had a family friend who was poor, not verge of homelessness poor, but impoverished relative to the town we lived. Like everyone, he had his fair share of problems, and worked a lot, but he was happy. Very few things deeply troubled him and he always maintained a calm and collected demeanor. Extremely intelligent too. When I was down, upset, angry, or outright furious, he was always there to impart his wisdom, and I am a better man for it.
Seemingly few people recognize the crucial art of living. Not to live without problems but live in spite of them. So many miserable, privileged people I’ve met in that town.