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abrahambelch ,

Don’t make the same mistake as our generation and fall for TikTok, Instagram and that shit.

Almost everything is better without it, from concerts to weekend trips to relationships.

Fisch ,
@Fisch@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

I think that advice is already coming too late

pepperonisalami ,

It’s super sad to see. We used to complain about kids being fed digital “contents” as pacifiers, but now I constantly see older people super fixated with their phone watching tiktok videos. 😔

4am ,

Computers and their interfaces? Way beyond the familiarity of older folks. TikTok? That’s just rapid-fire TV. That’s channel surfing where every flip is a reward. That’s gambling and standup combined.

It’s kind of insidious.

intensely_human ,

Based on your comment I tried to get Dalle to generate a combination video slots and social media game.

Limited success. Album shows images generated during the process:

imgur.com/a/HAp03KZ

toototabon ,
@toototabon@lemmy.ml avatar

The fact that I didn’t notice the end of your post, and started mindlessly scrolling through the Related Posts is hilarious and sadly ironic.

theDutchBrother ,

Con… certs… Yes i remember !

Thassodar ,

Con-air and Certs mints, I remember!

200ok ,

Cherry certs were the best!!

Zoldyck ,

Concerts. Is that some kind of offline activity from the past?

chahk ,

Are you kidding? The 40-50 generation invented falling for stupidity of social media. Talk to 60-70 gen instead.

anothermember ,

True, I hoped the next generation wouldn’t make the same mistake…

Empricorn ,

Okay, try getting past a first date with someone who asks for your “insta”.

abrahambelch ,

Maybe it’s the wrong person if they can’t be with someone who doesn’t use Instagram ;)

intensely_human ,

I prefer InstaGran anyway

Thassodar ,

ಠ_ಠ

OttoVonNoob ,

There’s no shame in changing your mind, there is no shame in needing help, there is no shame in self improvement, try to love yourself as a whole and work towards changing the things you don’t love.

TwoBeeSan ,

That changing your mind is so key. Often times people attach personal value to opinions as though they’re related.

The ego gets involved when it should fuck right off.

intensely_human ,

Sometimes people around them don’t make it any easier. If people around a person immediately show contempt to a person who admits they were wrong, it enforces a microculture where change is going to be harder and more painful than necessary.

noobdoomguy8658 ,

This is a real problem with changing your mind.

I can’t believe how many times I’ve been told I’ve changed when I no longer found something funny or said something that I wouldn’t have in my teen years.

One of the longest-running opinions of mine that hasn’t been disproved yet is that many people just don’t really mature or age mentally, it seems; they just grow older, without accumulating much if any wisdom.

captainlezbian ,

Some grow wiser, but one of the lessons of my 20s has been you have to do it on purpose. I’m not wiser than I was 5 years ago on accident.

intensely_human ,

You can also love the parts you’re going to change, as you change them. You don’t have to turn off the love to do surgery.

captainlezbian ,

That’s very true. I routinely change the parts of me I love. I try to make them better. I’m a kind and loving person, but I’m trying to change that from a selfless form to a self preserving form. To know my limits and stop pouring from an empty cup.

intensely_human ,

You can even love the parts you are saying goodbye to. Not improving, but eliminating. You never have to turn off the love at all ever for anything.

rockSlayer ,

Burnout is real. Step back for a bit and return rested, instead of abandoning the fight for justice entirely. Taking breaks is just as important as being active.

MotoAsh ,

No time off from work, back in to the mines with you!

TwoBeeSan ,

Don’t be afraid of healthy change and always admit fault.

While some of the shit coming out in our current generation can be stupid or superfluous always take it in context and see how it could be used to better your life.

Ex. Increase in mental health awareness recontexualizes your childhood.

Also listening. Even if the shit coming out of your child’s/younger coworker mouth is some bonkers shit at least listen to them without judgement. Will make any criticism that much better received

kenkenken ,
@kenkenken@sh.itjust.works avatar

Be younger.

the_post_of_tom_joad ,

Hahahaha me and my iced back hate you just a little rn

Sop ,

Middle class people often think that they’re barely getting by but forget that they live larger and more luxurious than necessary.

eskimofry ,

Yeah but the theft of wealth from the middle class doesn’t become false because a few people live it large.

In fact, middle class is always encouraged to live it large by 24X7 marketing by corporations.

Sop ,

Of course middle class people get stolen from, but they often use their job as an excuse not to organise which is lame imo because I know a lot of people who have it worse and put in way more effort in community building

intensely_human ,

Fuckin A man. I entered middle class briefly, for the first time in my life, by landing a coding job at six figures.

I let myself get warped, ethically, by my desire not slip below that line again, back into struggle.

But, fortunately for me, stepping away from the right path sapped my energy and I failed at the job and got fired. During the time I had that job my health suffered.

Now I realized that, at least for me, the only way I can rise sustainably is if I stay in accordance with my conscience. And the way it hurt my health, it made me realize it’s actually the right move to sacrifice the money to the conscience. The good feeling is better than anything money can buy.

I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s real for me. And honestly I feel fortunate to be weak enough that I can’t really operate in the world without that extra dopamine kick from my conscience. Like my discipline and focus aren’t great, and things fall apart when I start breaking promises and making bad ones and doing sloppy work for bad reasons, etc.

intensely_human ,

Just because a comment contains a criticism of X group doesn’t mean it’s a condemnation of the group and thereby a repudiation of all their grievances.

forgotmylastusername ,

I’ve seen this play out first hand with people gradually climbing up the socioeconomic ladder as they reach middle age. They forget how things were at the lower middle class compared to the upper middle or even proper upper class.

It gets hard to talk about these days with the social media bullshit muddying up discourse. Because people start seeing red at the mere idea of broaching this topic.

MutilationWave ,

People also have no idea what classes mean. Someone making 40k per year and someone making 400k per year will both say they are middle class. And both would be wrong.

forgotmylastusername ,

They will both agree to broad idea that “rich bad” and “middle class is struggling”. Their relative suffering is what they both agree on even though they’re different.

If the 40k person saw how the 400k person lives in real life, they would be rolling out the guillotine for the 400k dude. But without proper context online that 40k person will go to bat for the 400k person if anyone brings up the topic of lifestyle.

The further up the scale the more luxury there is. However people work with more binary thinking. So it’s easier to point at the dudes making 1000k or more. The territory of more unfathomable weath. Really there’s a lot of excess going on way before we reach the multi-millionaire to billionaire strata.

pezhore , (edited )
@pezhore@lemmy.ml avatar

I don’t know if it’s even possible anymore (heck it’s hard for me at 40), but try to put something in retirement funds. If your work as a 401k, try and contribute. If you leave the job, your money can then go to an IRA. How do you do that? Beats me - I have five or six requirement accounts, each topping out at around between $2-5k.

Also, brush your teeth and if you grind them in your sleep - get a dentist to fit you for a mouth guard.

Edit: wow, down votes for teeth health.

Edit edit: reading comprehension isn’t my strong suite.

MoonMelon ,

I’ve “rolled” a couple 401ks into a Vanguard account. Just set up a Vanguard traditional IRA (or Fidelity is good too) and follow their instructions. In both my cases my old 401k admin sent me a check and I forwarded it to Vanguard within a certain time frame. If you don’t know what fund to choose just pick “Vanguard Target Retirement XX” for whatever year you turn retirement age (Fidelity has equivalents).

The reason I say Vanguard or Fidelity is because they have rock bottom fees and also they are huge so they’ve worked this out with basically everyone.

propter_hog ,
@propter_hog@hexbear.net avatar

Fidelity is good, but Vanguard has lower fees. Stick in all in their S&P 500 index.

DrJenkem ,
@DrJenkem@lemmy.blugatch.tube avatar

It’s because you fucked up the assignment. Under 30 give advice, over 30 receive advice.

zigmus64 ,

He fucked up by revealing his age?

DrJenkem ,
@DrJenkem@lemmy.blugatch.tube avatar

I mean, even without straight up saying his age, the advice is boomer-coded. I’m not even saying it’s bad advice. But it’s not relevant to the title of the post.

pezhore ,
@pezhore@lemmy.ml avatar

We’ll my reading comprehension is quite shitty in the morning. Carry on with the down votes.

NONE_dc ,
@NONE_dc@lemmy.world avatar

Find a hobby that will allow you to keep your sanity during difficult times (unemployment and such) and after you retire.

systemglitch ,

If something or someone makes you feel bad, get it or them out of your life.

Find contentment within yourself if you want a healthy relationship.

Let go of things and don’t let your ego control you.

Thassodar ,

Really feeling this this week, especially the first sentence.

chrizzowski ,

Knocking on the door of 40. I spent this week moving into my own new place after a decade of toxicity, so this one resonates with me as well.

cheese_greater ,

Your family and friends shouldn’t constantly hurt you. If they make you feel like crap, flush em down.

intensely_human ,

BUT: differentiate between a person who makes you feel bad, and a person who makes you realize your conscience feels bad.

Learn to differentiate challenge from raw toxicity. Generally speaking, if someone is challenging you in a healthy way, then talking about it with them results in you feeling healthier and stronger. If talking about it with them just makes you feel sick and broken, it’s probably more toxic than useful.

a_little_red_rat ,

Give less of a shit of what your peers will think of you, do your own thing as much as you’re able. And also read leftist shit, be it Marx or Goldman, that will make you a better person overall.

Drusas ,

Generally, the older you get, the less you care what your peers think of you. You'll notice this as you get older.

Kuori ,
@Kuori@hexbear.net avatar

this was an interesting thought, OP. a shame nobody seems to have understood the assignment

Arkhive , (edited )

30 is hurtling at me like a train, so may as well say my bit while I still qualify.

Learn to swallow your ego, and pride, and “seniority”. There’s plenty of people younger than you that are wildly intelligent and truly want to make the world a better place. Let those people take up space. Let young organizers spread their wings. Put your desires to be important aside and help empower the next generation. Feeling valued by the broader society and being allowed to be important can help young people participate and learn to socialize, especially with some of their formative years being ravaged by social media and Covid.

SnotFlickerman ,

What about those of us who are older who were never given that chance when we were young?

We finally have a real opportunity and its our time to step aside?

Cool, cool, so the Boomers never let us have a chance at anything and now that they are all finally fucking dying, the next generation is like “we know you never actually got a chance but get the fuck out our way.”

That being said, there’s plenty of smart and capable youth out there who deserve a chance, it just stinks to be part of a lost generation that never got one.

bobs_monkey ,

I think the point of the comment you replied to was to share space and allow the younger generation to flourish in ways that our generation never did. Break the cycle. This doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself for younger people, the world is big enough for all of us.

SnotFlickerman ,

Cheers, that’s hopefully the way we can make it work.

If there’s one thing that often bugs me about my peers, it’s the unwillingness to learn from someone younger than you. Plenty of young people know all kinds of shit I’ve never known and they grew up in a world with access to more accurate information and education, so things I was taught in my childhood may be wrong.

For example, since I don’t have kids of my own, until recently I was totally unaware that there was a chickenpox vaccine. I was one of the last generations of ‘chicken pox parties’ where they just tried to get entire classes of kids to get it all at once so they wouldn’t get it at a more dangerous age.

Young people will almost always have access to new and useful information we may not.

intensely_human ,

If I see they’ve accomplished something I haven’t, I listen. So long as they’re not shitty about it.

It’s not hard to find young people who have accomplished what I haven’t.

bobs_monkey ,

Absolutely. I’ve got a younger dude that works for me and he teaches me so much on the daily, it’s pretty rad.

There’s a chickenpox vaccine? Huh, TIL. I remember my chickenpox party lol, it seemed so weird at the time to be made to hang out with other kids that were sick with the intent of getting sick.

Arkhive ,

Yes, exactly! Thanks for clarifying that for me!

intensely_human ,

I’ve never been valuable to the world. But now I’ve gone through a bunch of shit and know things people who haven’t been through that shit don’t know.

Should I try to share that? I’m not really done trying to be helpful, you know? I haven’t spread my own wings yet, despite being old.

So should I just give up to make space for young people who want to feel that, or should I chime in with what I’ve learned.

ThatWeirdGuy1001 ,
@ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world avatar

Just because you don’t understand something within the first 5 seconds doesn’t mean it’s stupid.

Also information changes on a daily basis. Just because someone gave you different information than what you were taught doesn’t mean they were taught wrong. Look it up.

scrubbles ,
@scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech avatar

As a 30+ person, this hits true. I heard my first friend say “the crap music these kids are listening to”. Like dude, have just some self awareness, remember our parents saying green day and blink -182 were crap.

I would add to this that we don’t need to understand something for there to be value to others. There are trends I don’t understand, like dancing on tiktok, but it apparently brings the youths joy so have at it.

sanguinepar , (edited )
@sanguinepar@lemmy.world avatar

As a 40+ person, I strongly agree with my young colleague here.

Listen to what you want, kids. Enjoy it. And don’t let anyone tell you you’re wrong about it.

As Common once put it, “If I don’t like it, I don’t like it, that don’t mean that I’m hatin’.”

MidnightBanjo ,

Loving this chain. Also over 30. I get frustrated that what older generations used to spout about Millenials like me (lazy, don’t want to work, etc) gets spouted by my generation to gen z.

I’ve seen some Gen Z kids do some bad things, but I’ve also seen them do amazing things my generation would not have done.

As far as music, I love all the variety there is and all the mediums to listen to it now.

scrubbles ,
@scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech avatar

I am actively working on trying to be better than the older generation. I love how unique gen z is, how they truly believe everyone have value, their beliefs, their morals. I have hope they will be better than us

intensely_human ,

The advice-for-kids thread is elsewhere. This is an advice for old people thread.

sanguinepar ,
@sanguinepar@lemmy.world avatar

Indeed, but this particular sub-thread started with an OP giving advice to older people, and is now older people responding to that comment. These aren’t top level comments, so let the conversation go where it may.

intensely_human ,

There are trends I don’t understand, like dancing on tiktok, but it apparently brings the youths joy so have at it.

It’s actually called tap dancing, and if you think of that as a youths thing you’re older than dirt.

ArcaneSlime ,

Tbf some of the popular music has been shit since music began I’m sure, but there’s also always good stuff. For instance rap music, most of it these days is garbage like lil uzi and lil peep, but there’s still dudes like Aesop Rock (not ASAP Rocky, Aesop Rock), Run The Jewels, Meyhem Lauren, Lil Nas X, making good shit out there. Pop hasn’t been good since the 80s though. Oddly enough I think my favorite stuff from “now” is actually the fact that shoegaze is coming back but called zoomergaze and it’s fantastic! The band Julie is a good example, check out their EP Pushing Daisies. Also there’s been some really good recent country, namely Charley Crockett and Sturgil Simpson, and (ok it’s psychedelic bluegrass but) Billy Strings.

There is good stuff, we just have to dig through piles of shit for it.

scrubbles ,
@scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech avatar

Talking to the admin of a pop music instance there bud.

ArcaneSlime , (edited )

Then they already know the radio has been pumping out pure drivel and oldies since the advent of RoboDJs? My mistake, didn’t mean to musicsplain.

Edit: OH but I should qualify it: J-pop and K-pop are putting out some decent stuff, just not KISSFM™ and IHeartRadio™ which are equivalent to all American pop radio.

MonkderDritte ,

Well, less people are listening new releases each year, more are listening old songs…

aldalire ,

Use Monero

Drusas ,

What is it and why should we use it?

aldalire ,

Haha. It’s an inside joke from the person who made this post. OP is, i believe, a Bitcoin guy who has interacted with the Monero community

Since you asked, Monero is a privacy-focused cryptocurrency. You can buy some cool stuff online with it, like 1 month VPN access from Mullvad, using xmrbazaar.com which is an eBay like site which accepts monero, and VPS and domain names through njal.la

Definitely a pretty niche thing but it’s a growing community. We don’t show up much on the internet because of the privacy-focused thing; we don’t really frequent twitter, etc, although some do.

Drusas ,

Thanks for the explanation.

aldalire ,

Your welcome 😊 I tend not to bring up crypto outside the crypto community (except when it’s an inside joke) because of the scammy connotations. And there’s definitely a lot more scams out there that promise you the world than real, grassroots projects. I’ve binged a lot of Coffeezilla on youtube, he has very good and entertaining coverage on crypto scams :)

Tartas1995 ,

It is the choice of criminals especially drug trade because it is privacy focused and removes the need to transport a lot of money over borders

aldalire ,

Yeah ok fed

Tartas1995 ,

I am sorry that you are unfamiliar with international drug trade.

aldalire ,

fuck off

aldalire , (edited )

Please dont downvote thinking it’s a crypto troll reply. It’s an inside joke because OP has replied to my posts on Monero in the past :-)

polskilumalo ,
@polskilumalo@lemmygrad.ml avatar

fucking relax, take a break sometimes, let time fly and just don’t give a shit

“but I have responsibilities!!!”

fuck em, put your legs up on the coffee table and I dunno… just stop and think about the minute shit around you. or reminisce. have you called jon recently? fuuuuck man you should hit him up. ohhh you can’t arrange a date to meet? then fucking get that one day yourself to meet with him whenever he can

i see so many people over 30 be overworked, overstressed and downright complacent with all the shit they have to go through

just fuck it all for at least one day man, cause if that’s what life’s supposed to be then i don’t wanna get old, just to be surrounded by those who are letting all of life’s bullshit control every little fiber of them

forgotmylastusername ,

I’ve thought about this from time to time. Have we been kind of a neurotic generation? I could never tell if it was just me that was seeing things or what. The under 30s seems more indifferent. Might be because they are mostly the children of Gen-X? Are over 30s a bit uptight? How did we end up this way?

From personal experience growing up so many kids were obsessed with the rat race from way too young. That whole mindset that you must to university to get all your credentials to fit yourself into a cookie cutter. The defacto life track until the illusion started to crack.

All in all I think the over 30 generation has a really hard time with self reflection. In particular talking about the faults of our own generation. Which is paradoxical against the whole mental health awareness stuff.

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