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People who can don't get mad and just go with the flow, how do you do it?

Here recently it seems like everything just gets under my skin so quickly and easily. It’s not that I get mad and take it out on others, it’s just the fact that I’m constantly annoyed and stressed. Something as simple as the dogs tracking some mud through the house will just ruin my mood. I know some people who would just laugh it off and clean it up. Meanwhile I’ll get pissed that I didn’t wipe their feet and be mad the entire time I’m cleaning it up. This has nothing to do with the dogs, it just an example. Any number of seemingly insignificant things can trigger me like that. Like forgetting something at the store and having to go back. I would love to be able to go, “well that sucks” and just get over it.

CommunistBear ,

Admittedly I’m usually drunk or high but an overwhelming disposition of “it do be like that” seems to help the bullshit slide off

shiveyarbles ,

I feel smoking crack helps smooth out the edges

hactar42 OP ,

Seriously, I can’t wait to get out of Texas. I had some edibles in Colorado and they were 10 times better than any prescription anxiety meds I’ve taken. The delta-8/9 crap you can get here just makes my dizzy.

shani66 ,

What can i say, the dude abides

hactar42 OP ,

The dude is spirit animals, or at least the one I aspire to be.

Ithorian ,
@Ithorian@hexbear.net avatar

I feel weird recommending medication but I had the same problem for like 3 years (since my mental breakdown) I got put on new meds about 4 months ago and holy shit have they been life changing. That constant anger isn’t there anymore, some times I still have a bad day, but its not ever present annoyed at the world anymore.

hactar42 OP ,

My doctor actually prescribed me some meds to help me sleep. But instead of something like ambient or trazadone that just knock you out, this one is designed to help sleep problems caused by anxiety. I took it for the first time last week and woke up feeling refreshed for the first time in years. Which in turn has helped my entire mood.

Th4tGuyII , (edited )
@Th4tGuyII@kbin.social avatar

I know your feeling - though I find it hard to truly lose my temper, I do tend to stress out easily and start venting outloud.

I feel like externalising my stressors is the only way to let them go, even if nobody wants to listen, otherwise I just end up bottling things up.

leds ,

Get checked for vitamin deficits?

lung ,
@lung@lemmy.world avatar

Buddhism, meditation, and generally knowing that everything is temporary. Gratitude / “counting your blessings” helps increase general happiness, as it’s easy to forget what’s going right

bhmnscmm ,
@bhmnscmm@lemmy.world avatar

Regular exercise (every other day at least) makes a big difference for me.

dpkonofa ,

That all starts with being able to recognize those emotions in the moment. If you can’t change the past, then why are you putting energy into getting angry over it? In your dog example, you’re going to have to clean it either way so stop to think about what’s more valuable to you - moving forward and learning for next time or using your energy to get angry.

There’s nothing wrong with getting angry. Anger is a useful emotion. Use it to your benefit rather than to your detriment.

electric_nan ,

Train yourself to observe yourself. With some practice, you can kind of see yourself from an outside perspective. Watching yourself have a tantrum over spilling some water, or banging your head or whatever, is pretty funny.

amanneedsamaid ,

This probably isn’t a heapful response, but for me, once something is inevitable I don’t see a point in getting upset, so I don’t. For instance I’ the dogs tracv dirt through the house, I’d definitely be a bit annoyed that I have to clean it up, but actually letting it get to me would only serve to make my night worse.

axont ,

it depends on what I’m getting mad at. For instance, I don’t tend to argue/yell/confront people in real life. I only get mad at people if it’s online. In real life if I can look into someone’s eyes I’ll feel different about it. If it’s some racist person or someone being annoying, I look in their eyes and often see a little kid trying to rile people up, so I just feel sad. Or sometimes I’ll see nothing in their eyes. If someone is pure evil, I just don’t sense their soul anymore, so getting emotionally invested in them is like throwing a bucket of water into a black hole. Anger at them would go nowhere. I dismiss people like that, acknowledge what they are, and tell them to stop doing whatever they’re doing. Don’t say racist or transphobic or whatever stuff around me, simple as that, you know? usually being direct works the best. I have a 100% success rate so far, because people like that do get embarrassed easily if they’re in public, trying to confide something bigoted with me, then I’m not having it.

Anger at situations though? I don’t deal with that in a healthy way at all. I turn all of it into self-hatred. I blame myself for every problem I have. If there’s a way out of doing that, I’d love to know, because this sucks.

phpinjected ,

Punch a homeless dude

horse_called_proletariat ,
@horse_called_proletariat@hexbear.net avatar

breathing exercises, intense exercise, taking timeout to think about about all your stressors and what actions you can take to reduce them in meaningful ways. i also get really mad and stressed out and close to shutting down sometimes/often. im trying to get into a DBT skills course on top of what i already mentioned as things that have been helpful for me but yeah

calypsopub ,

For me it was getting sober and specifically the serenity prayer. I have a terrible temper. Like break things and punch people temper. It’s always embarrassing to lose control like that. Well, saying that prayer reminds me that there are things I can control and things I can’t. Serenity is understanding the difference and accepting your powerlessness over things like the past, other people’s thoughts and actions, and even your own flaws. I am so calm now, I just have a “not my circus, not my monkeys” attitude most of the time. Occasionally, something starts to push my buttons and I have to walk away if possible, but that’s rare.

Also, make sure you’re getting enough sleep and try cutting out caffeine. Anything that causes more cortisol production is going to stress you.

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